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23 Times Customers Liked To ‘Milk’ Their Ignorance – For World Milk Day!

| Right | June 1, 2020

Dear readers,

Today is World Milk Day! You drank it as a child to make you strong. It goes into cheese and cake, which some of our editors can’t live without! Even Vegans can get in on the action, with Rice, Soy, Oat, Coconut, and many other types of plant-based milk ensuring they can get their coffees just how they like them! (Yes, we know they’re not technically ‘milk’ but they serve the same purpose and we’re not that picky.)

So, when you’re celebrating today with a nice cold glass of milk, enjoy our 23 selected stories that show how some customers like to ‘milk’ their ignorance.


The Dark Chocolate Knight – We have to start with a classic!

A Mockery Of The Language – If you can learn how to say milk in two languages you’re already better than these two…

Got Brains? – This story is really going to get your goat.

Buffalos In The Mist – We think if someone really tried to do this, they would go ape!

How Cows Order Coffee – Sadly, too much milk can be a bad thing.

You’ve Got To Be Kitten, Part 2 – Oh, dude…

Cows Live Off The Fat Of The Land – The growing market for pure cow oil.

The Land Of Milk And Money – You argued logic with a bigot… and won!

Milk That Lie Dry – I am only allergic to things I don’t like!

Clearer Than Black And White – Vanilla racism is still racism.

Sure, We Have A Cow Out Back (Part 2) – Only if the customer can provide the cow!

Gotta Try It Sooner Or Latte – Milk? With coffee? How scandalous!

Batty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder – A story from 2011 about panic buying – sheesh!

You (Could Have) Had Me At Hello – She thinks she has to foam at the mouth to get her milk.

There Is No Meat But Where Is The Proof – Every single thing she just said is wrong.

Milking A Complaint For All It Weighs – Expecting 2% milk to be 2% of the weight.

There Is No Expiration On Your Stupidity – We’re going to label you ‘idiot.’

Beans From The Third Rice – We don’t know what the drink of fascism is but we’re pretty sure it’s not soy.

Skimmed Milk, Skimmed Brain – This is what happens when customers just skim over the details and then label themselves experts.

The Cow Goes Moy – If you thought chocolate milk comes from brown cows…

Guess Whose Picture Is Next To “Pyrrhic” – You get more per gallon for petroleum!

One Coffee Conflagration, Coming Right Up – For this customer, hypocrisy just comes organically.

Make That A Triple Non-Fat Sexy Latte – It’s a foam party!


We hope you enjoyed this collection of stories! Know any that we missed? Let us know in the comments! Want to submit your own story? Do it here!

Stay safe, everyone!

Have you been enjoying our roundups? Check out more here to see if you’ve missed any!

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