I’m at the grocery store shopping for cookie ingredients. A middle-aged woman walks up to me while I look for something extra to put on the cookies.

Customer: “Excuse me, where is the [Brand] caramelized milk?”

I figure she asked me because I was looking intently at the shelves, and I look around a little.

Me: “Well, seems like there isn’t any. Sometimes it’s on sale at the end of the aisle; hold on.”

I leave to check around the corner and come back.

Me: “Nope, nothing. Seems they ran out.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s too bad. You see, I wanted [Brand] to make a cake, but this [Other Brand] is always too sweet, and this other—”

She continues rambling about caramelized milk brands and I end up tuning her out because she starts mumbling and talking while looking away. I reassume staring at the shelf, assuming she’s just talking alone by now, when suddenly she whips back and stares at me.

Customer: “Are you sure you don’t have [Brand]?”

Me: “Uh… no.”

Customer: “You work here, right?”

I looked down at my Captain America shirt and shook my head. She then rambled some more, this time about powdered sugar, before grabbing a different brand and stalking off, leaving me to wonder if the Avengers worked the morning shift.

My dad works at an international company. They hire people and take on clients from all over the world. One day, he receives this message in the group chat from his supervisor.

Supervisor: “[Dad]: And now we have the phstodyxufhsoa from Germany, hahaha!”

Dad: “I’m sorry, what?”

Supervisor: “It’s a joke.”

Dad: “No, it isn’t. You’re being needlessly mean.”

Supervisor: “Dude, chill out. It’s just a joke. I’m sorry you didn’t find it funny because you have no sense of humor.”

Dad: “No, I didn’t. You’re making fun of the German language. As a company with an international presence, we have a duty to respect any and all of our clients and their cultures and languages. If you had sent this to another chat by accident, you’d be in deeper s*** than you are now. This kind of talking needs to stop or I’m talking to HR.” 

His supervisor didn’t respond to that. I’m so proud of my dad here; he’s absolutely not a perfect picture of acceptance, but he stood up to his supervisor for being a racist, xenophobic bully. Every little bit!

I work at a call centre for a not-too-popular ISP. A woman calls in because her Internet isn’t working. She spoke with someone before and ended up getting a technician scheduled to go fix the problem. However, she wants to see if she can get someone scheduled to come in sooner.

She’s previously gone through six other representatives before getting to me, looking for the same thing. Using a tool we’re provided, I can see that her Internet should be working. I do some basic troubleshooting to figure out what is wrong.

Her third-party router connecting between the modem and computer is causing the problem. I instruct her to connect the modem directly to her computer which brings the Internet back. This results in the greatest compliment I’ve ever heard.

Customer: “You’re worth your weight in gold, so I hope you’re really fat!”

I still smile to this day thinking about that one.

Dear readers,

It’s National Macintosh Computer Day in the USA, which celebrates the day in 1984 when the very first predecessor of today’s Apple computers was publicly released!

There are idiots on both sides of the great tech battle between Macs and PCs. But this roundup features 10 stories about Apple computers and the specific type of stupidity that gravitates toward them!

Tech Support Is Rendered Fruitless – This dingbat is a real peach.

An Apple A Day Keeps The Scammer Away – Well, that one sure gave up quickly.

Don’t Throw Apples In A Room Full Of Windows – Hits from the comments: “Ah, an I-D-ten-T error.”

(more…)

I have had three different jobs and I still have the uniforms for my other two, which were fast food. One of them was a coffee shop that is well-known but not too popular. I often wear the uniform shirt in public because I still love the place and don’t mind the free advertisement. I also have some pretty bad anger issues; I just feel angry for no reason at all kind of often, with a hair-thin trigger. This happens on my first ever trip to the much more popular coffee shop. I order and sit at a nearby table on my phone to wait.

Lady: “Get up!”

She is standing right in front of me, just staring. I look up at her.

Me: “What do you want?”

Lady: “That’s no way to talk to a customer! Get your a** up and make my coffee! I swear, lazy-a** millennials like you are ruining this country.”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Lady: “Don’t lie. I’ve seen you here! And it says it on your shirt! I am a paying customer; you can’t—”

I stand up and slam my phone down on the table and stand toe-to-toe to her. She is maybe an inch shorter than me so it isn’t that intimidating, but she does back up a couple of steps.

Me: “Excuse me? I don’t f****** work here. You know d*** well I don’t, as this—” *gestures to the name of the coffee shop on my chest* “—is nowhere f****** close to this shop. You don’t need to be talking s*** like that to workers or random-a** people. Now piss off; my drink is ready.”

I went up and got my drink. I didn’t bother seeing what happened to the lady after I said that.

Related:
A Uniform Response, Part 4
A Uniform Response, Part 3
A Uniform Response, Part 2
A Uniform Response