(I work for tech support at my college.)

Me: “[College Name] tech support, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m having trouble with my e-mail client. I can’t figure out how to set up my account.”

Me: “No problem, let me walk you through it.”

(I talk her through the account set up screens. Finally, when we’re done…)

Me: “All right, click on ‘OK’ and you should be all set.”

Caller: “What ‘OK’? I don’t see anything that says ‘OK’.”

Me: “There’s a button to the lower right of the window that says ‘OK’, next to the ‘Cancel’ button.”

Caller: “I don’t see it.”

(This exchange goes on for about 5 minutes. I have the program open on my computer and describe the window to make sure she’s in the right spot, and she is. I make sure she’s running the same version, she is.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have the program open right now, and there should be an ‘OK’ button to the right of a ‘”Cancel’ button…at the bottom right of the screen.”

Caller: “That’s so strange… I just don’t see one.”

Me: “Hmm. Well, what building are you in? Maybe I could help you better in person.”

Caller: “I’m in the–oh, wait! You mean THAT ‘OK’ button?”

Me: “The one at the bottom right, next to a ‘Cancel’ button?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “…yes. Click on that.”

Caller: “Thank you!”

(The other IT techs were laughing throughout this whole conversation… then one informed me that the caller was actually head of the college’s financial aid department. I suddenly understood why half of my friends were having problems with their financial aid.)

This story is part of the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

Read the next Totally Unobservant Customers roundup story!

Read the Totally Unobservant Customers roundup!

(A cell phone customer has been redirected to the call center for non-payment of his cell phone bill.)

Customer: “Turn on my phone or you can take it and shove it up your a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t have service in that area.”

Customer: “Do you serve crab cakes?”

Boss: “This is a hot dog stand.”

Customer: “So do you sell crab cakes?”

Boss: “We sell hot dogs, chips, and soda.”

Customer: “So do you have crab cakes?”

Boss: “No, we sell hot dogs, chips, and soda. Not crab cakes. Try a different stand.”

Customer: “How can you not have crab cakes! This is Tall Ships! Everyone has crab cakes!”

Boss: “Well, not us. Now there is an awfully long line behind you so can you please move along?”

Me: “Can I help the next person?”

Customer: “HEY I AM THE CURRENT CUSTOMER! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY YOU DON’T HAVE CRAB CAKES!”

Me: “Look around you, sir. There are seven people behind you, behind me, there are people making hot dogs, sausage, and peppers. Behind you, there is a crab cake stand. If you aren’t going to buy something other than hot dogs, please take your business somewhere else.”

Customer: “I’M GOING SOMEWHERE ELSE! YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO MANNERS!” *storms off*

Boss: “I don’t know what the hell was wrong with him, but if he talks to you like that again, I’m going to kick his a**.”

Me: *happy I have an awesome boss* “Thanks.”

Related:
Even Bosses Have A Stupid Quota

(Almost thirty kids are lined up at the Velcro wall waiting to ride. We have about five minutes until our troupe leaves. One of the parents comes up to me.)

Mother: “I want my son to ride this ride.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think there’s enough time for all these kids to–”

Mother: “I don’t care if he’s the last one. I want him to ride this ride.”

Me: “This ride is going to shut down in about five minutes. There isn’t enough time for–”

Mother: “He can be the last in line, then.”

Me: “He can wait in line but probably won’t be able to–”

Mother: “Fine.”

(The mother walks away and returns some time after the ride is shut down and all kids are turned away.)

Mother: “Hey! HEY! I thought we agreed that my child would get on the ride.”

Me: “That’s not what we agreed to.”

Mother: “Well, put the ride back up so he can ride it.”

Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t do all that for one child.”

Mother: “Why not?! You’re just being f***ing stubborn.”

Me: “If you have any complaints you can speak to the clown over there. Have a nice day.”

Mother: “I don’t want to talk to any d*** clown.”

Me: “That clown is my boss.”

This story is part of our Roller-Coasters roundup!

Click here to read the next story!

Click here to go to the roundup!

Customer: “Can I have the giant Yorkshire Pudding?”

Me: “Sure, would you like it served with Beef or Pork?”

Customer: “Yes, I’ll have beef or pork.”

Me: “No, would you like Beef OR Pork?”

Customer: “YES, beef or pork!”

This story is part of our Customers With Super-Vague Requests roundup!

Read the next story in this roundup!

Read the Super-Vague Requests roundup!