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    Think They Are The Masters Race

    | FL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, School

    (I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

    Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

    Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

    Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

    Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

    Customer: “Oh… uh…”

    (He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

    Lacks The Power To Comprehend

    | London, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (One morning there is an electrical fire under the city streets that blows out power to the entire downtown core. Our store is completely closed, dark, and the roads are blocked off by the hydro company and firefighters who are tackling manhole fires. People still managed to get to our doors nonetheless. One tries to come in behind our manager as she is returning and locking the door.)

    Customer: “I just need my coffee. Two milk, two sugar, please.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, we’re closed. We have no power.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. Just pour the coffee and give me the rest on the side.”

    Manager: “Sorry, but we have no coffee right now and we won’t be open until at least noon.”

    Customer: “How do you not have coffee?”

    Manager:“Because we’re closed. We haven’t had power for three hours.”

    Customer: “Well, can’t you just ask them to turn it on quick?” *points to the city hydro truck and workers on the street*

    Manager: “They said it won’t be back until at least noon.”

    Customer: “Can I just come in and see what you have?”

    Manager: “We have no power, so we can’t use our tills, or sell you anything here.”

    Customer: “I’ll just start going to the other store, then!” *the other store is two blocks down, also without power*

    Manager: “Sure. Have a good day.”

    (The outage lasted about nine hours and knocked out every utility in radius of about 10-15 blocks in the core of downtown, including stores, traffic lights, and even complete road closures due to fires. People still couldn’t comprehend that we couldn’t sell them coffee all day.)

    Really Tee’d Off Over Closing Time

    , | UK | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a bar at my local golf club. We have closed at 7 pm for years now. I’ve just collected the last glasses and pulled the shutters down over the bar apart from the one which allows me to get in and out. I’m in the middle of cashing down the day’s takings.)

    Customer: *at 7:30* “Are you open?”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “No, sir. We closed about half an hour ago and I’m just finishing the last of my tasks behind the bar.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be open for people like me who like to be the last to tee off on the course in the day!” *walks off in a huff*

    Stupid Out Of The Starting Gate

    , | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

    Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

    Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

    Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

    Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

    Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

    (Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)

    Trying To Drive Home The Sale

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (This store is actually the second store of this chain I have worked at; the first closed down, and this was the very last day for this store, too. The assistant manager has been positioned outside the doors for the last 10 minutes to shoo very last minute customers, since we’re closing the doors about four hours early to begin cataloguing the entire store to get it all packed up. A family of four walks up, and starts to argue with him about wanting to come in to look.)

    Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, but we’re closing in 10 minutes, for good, and we can’t be open any later.”

    Father: “But we drove three hours across state lines to visit THIS exact store.”

    Assistant Manager: “Then, really, you should have been here earlier today, or earlier in the week, because we’ve been making everyone aware that this store was closing permanently today, at this hour, for months now.”

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