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    Dolled Up And Priced Down

    | Summit, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (I work at a small mom and pop pharmacy. We are having a buy-one-get-one sale on some collectible dolls. A middle-aged female customer is browsing the collectibles. There are six different dolls, each a different color. I happen to be at the counter where they are displayed.)

    Me: “Hello, I see you are interested in these dolls.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m unsure which one to get.”

    Me: “Well, we are having a sale on them.”

    Customer: “I see.”

    Me: “Well, just inform me which ones you decide on.”

    Customer: *eyes light up* “I can get more than one!?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “How much for one?”

    Me: “$14.50.”

    (The customer starts counting on her fingers, then sighs.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I only have enough money for three of them.”

    (I am confused.)

    Customer: “Even with your sale, I would only get be able to get four.”

    (I figure out what is the misunderstanding in her logic.)

    Me: “How about this, you buy three and I’ll give you the other three on the house?”

    Customer: “You will won’t you get in trouble for that?”

    Me: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

    (I got her dolls and rang her up. She kinda skipped out of the store.)

    Driving Her Own Price Up

    , | CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Money, Transportation

    (A policy holder calls to complain about the very high premium she is paying for her auto insurance. I review the policy with her and determine that she’s had many accidents and violations. Easily the worst driving record I’ve seen, and I’ve been doing this job for years.)

    Customer: “So, what can be done so that I don’t pay so much?”

    Me: “As your driving history is the reason for the high premium, there are no opportunities to reduce the cost until your record improves.”

    Customer: “There has to be something you can do?”

    Me: “I’ve verified that the price is accurate. There is nothing more I can do.”

    Customer: “Is there something I can do?”

    Me: “Have you had a recent check up with a doctor to see if there is a physical reason you are having difficulty while driving? You may want to consider using public transportation, at least until you’ve been medically cleared.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing wrong with my health, and I’m not going to stop driving!”

    Me: “If you must continue to drive, I’d suggest taking a driver education or improvement course.”

    Customer: “You’re joking, right? I’m a good driver! Everyone gets into a bit of trouble now and again!”

    (This call was chosen by my supervisor for monthly call review and coaching, which was less than a week later. There were already two more accident claims filed!)

    Signs You Should Probably Stop Driving

    , | CO, USA | Health & Body, Transportation

    (An elderly customer calls about her policy, which has increased at the most recent renewal due to an accident she’s had pulling out of the drive from her retirement community.)

    Customer: “You know, I’m really a good driver. I just didn’t see the other car. It came from nowhere.”

    Me: I’m sure you wouldn’t have attempted to pull out if you’d seen it.”

    Customer: “Many of my neighbors sold their cars and ride the bus; several routes go right by our complex. I can’t do that, though, because I don’t see so well anymore. I can’t read those signs they have on the buses that say where they are going.”

    Me: “…”

    Don’t Hand It To Racism

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I used to work at a cookie shop at the mall. At this point the customer’s cookie is wrapped and put on the counter in front of me so I can handle her money.)

    Customer: “Where is my cookie?”

    Me: *points* “It’s right there.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you hand it to me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    (I pick up the cookie and hand it to her.)

    Customer: “What, do you not touch black people or nothing?!”

    (I have no idea how to react to this as she stomps off.)

    Stupidly Honest

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body

    (I’m in a walk-in clinic paying for a doctor’s note, when I overhear an exchange between a man and a nurse about why he’s at the clinic.)

    Nurse: “So, is this something work related?”

    Man: “No, it’s something stupidity related.”

    (At least he was honest.)

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