(I have just gotten out of school and it is snowing aggressively, on the verge of hailing. During my second to last class period, my period surprises me by arriving early. It ends up soaking through a tampon and my jeans. I clean up as best I can and tie a sweatshirt around my waist until I can go home. Unfortunately, I have to stay after school to make up a chemistry test, and have to suffer through until I’m done. Afterwards, I walk to a nearby drug store because my ride won’t arrive for another hour. I place my variety of purchases on the counter: pads, a pair of cheap leggings, chocolate poptarts, and a soda.)

Female Cashier: *puts two and two together* “Oh, sweetie, I’m not supposed to do this, and don’t tell my manager, but I’m going to give you my 10% discount.”

(My genetics biology class has a brief discussion about the double-helix structure of DNA, and of course Watson and Crick come up, along with a quick discussion of how Rosalind Franklin deserved more credit for her work. The girl behind me takes that as her cue. Every time we discuss a scientist, she sarcastically asks what his wife discovered, and loudly talks about how much men suck. I’m a woman and a feminist, but this girl is just annoying, and ignorant to boot. Finally, I’ve had enough.)

Girl: “Oh, suuure, he discovered heredity! Are you sure he wasn’t just taking credit for a woman’s work, like all those other misogynistic pigs?!”

Me: “You do realize we’re talking about Mendel, right? Gregor Mendel? Ringing any frickin’ bells?”

Girl: “Another pretentious jerk, taking credit for his wife’s work!”

Me: “Dude… Mendel was a monk.”

Girl: “So?”

Me: “As in, living in an abbey, no women around, never married! Pretty d*** sure his work was his own.”

(She went pink, and thankfully stayed quiet for the rest of the semester. The professor, also a woman, told me later that she gave me a few extra credit points for finally shutting her up.)

(I am the patient in this story. After many, many years of not receiving dental treatment, I finally get good dental insurance and make an appointment with a dentist. After the x-rays come back, I have in total 14 cavities and severe sensitivity in a majority of my teeth, and I need one root canal. After many visits, I am finally down to the root canal. So far, for a majority of my appointments, the dentist has been rough, short-tempered, and pissy. I am on a time limit to get all this work done, so I just live with it. Sadly, my final appointment does not go well.)

Dentist: *jerks my head* “Oh, s***.”

Me: “Everything okay?”

Dentist: “We are going to have to stop here and send you to someone else.”

Me: “Why?”

Dentist: “I broke a drill bit in one of your roots.”

Me: “I am fine with being sent to someone else, but my insurance ends tomorrow; this root canal needs to be done.”

Dentist: “Don’t worry; it will be done. We are sending you to our specialist. He is really good at root canals.”

Me: *skeptical* “Okay, as long as it gets done.”

(Next day:)

Specialist Dentist: “I don’t know how they managed to break a bit in your root, but the good news is that it broke on the torque, so it sealed the root. We can leave it in and just finish the root canal.”

Me: “Fine, let’s just get this done.”

(Another hour later, as they finish drilling the rest of the roots…)

Specialist Dentist: “We are finished. Schedule your next appointment for the filling and the crown.”

Me: “Um, no, you need to fill this and put the crown on. My insurance ends today; I do not have $1,600 to pay out-of-pocket for this.”

Specialist Dentist: “We can’t finish this today; you’re not scheduled for that.”

(After that, they made me leave. It has been four months, and two of the fillings they did have fallen off, the tooth with the unfinished root canal has cracked, and the broken fillings have exposed nerves. I managed to scrape together enough money to fix one of the fillings, but the other broken filling is out of the budget, and so is the unfinished root canal. It’s pretty bad when a filling falls off while eating pancakes.)

(It is around Black Friday. I have only been working at this store for a few days, and my main job is to fold clothes and keep the racks neat. I am working in the ladies department, which has no registers. All of the other registers are in use, with long lines, so even if I wanted to, there is nowhere for me to hop on. If you want to order shoes, you have to do that in the shoe department.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t realize you were behind me. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I’ve been standing here for five minutes! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Again, sir, I am sorry. I wasn’t aware that you were standing behind me. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Order these in a size nine!”

(The customer shoves a shoebox in my face. This is odd, because shoeboxes aren’t displayed; there is only one display pair of each shoe. This man has to have picked a shoe and asked the shoe associate to get him whatever size he was holding. The fact that he knows we don’t have any in the size he wants means that he has to have asked the shoe associate for that size, been told that we don’t have any, and declined the shoe associate’s offer to order them, before walking away with the wrong size to find a random ladies associate to do exactly that.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have any registers in my department, and as the store is very busy, none of them are free for me to hop on. If you don’t want to order them in the shoe department, the next nearest register would be in jewelry. I’m sure an associate there would be happy to help you!”

Customer: “I asked you to order it.”

Me: “I know, sir, and on any other day, I would be happy to do that for you. Unfortunately, they didn’t build any registers in my department, and there are no available ones for me to use. You can order the shoes in the shoe department or jewelry. If you don’t want to go to either of those registers, there are also associates in kids that are able to help you.”

Customer: “Fine. Never mind.”

(The customer complained to corporate about me and I got written up. Every time I tried to explain what happened, my manager would just say, “He spends hundreds of dollars here! And you ARE seasonal!” I actually kept my job there for a year, anyway, before quitting and moving to a company that doesn’t treat its employees like garbage.)

(My friend and I are walking out from science class.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], if you answer the next question with no, you will win a million dollars.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the question?”

Friend: “Are you ready?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: “Okay, I’ll give you some more time.”

(They wait for a minute.)

Friend: “You ready now?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: *starts laughing* “See, you’ll never win, right?”

Me: “No.” *smiles some*

Friend: “Wait…”