My mother was a pediatric cardiac nurse and was taking care of a boy who had just had open heart surgery. She left for the weekend, and this story was relayed to her the next morning she was in.

The mother of the young boy suddenly started to have severe abdominal pains during the night. The nurse realized after checking her over that she had forgotten to ask her a very important question: when was the last time she had had her period? The mother said, “Oh, it’s coming any day now.”

The nurse looked at the nurse supervisor who was helping her. This is a children’s hospital, so they had no labor and delivery ward. The supervisor started to panic. This hospital is up the road from another, adult hospital. So, the supervisor decided to put the mother in a wheelchair and push her down to the adult hospital. This hospital is located at the top of a hill, so as he was pushing her down to the other hospital, the wheelchair slipped out of his hand. Luckily, he caught her before she got too far away, and got her to the adult hospital before she delivered the baby.

When my mom got back that Monday, she went to the boy’s room and saw that the mother was back already. She found that the mother had been so focused on taking care of her son before his surgery and getting him the surgery that she hadn’t realized she hadn’t had her period in over seven months.

Luckily, both the son and baby were able to leave the hospital soon after, and last my mother heard they were all doing well.

(HR has just made an announcement over the loudspeaker that the store will be turning off some lights and turning down the air conditioning in order to conserve energy. I walk out onto the floor just as he’s finished making the announcement.)

Me: “I can take the next guest!”

Guest: *putting her items onto the counter* “Why are the lights off?”

Me: “We’re conserving energy.”

Guest: “Well, they should say something before turning the lights off!”

(I work at a grocery store chain, and today I am out collecting carts. I notice a customer parked in a disabled spot, having problems getting out.)

Me: “Sir, do you need help or anything?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’ll just wait for this lady and use her cart.”

(There is another customer at her car next to his putting her groceries in. I assume this is the end of it, and walk away to go collect carts. When I turn around, the lady is still putting her groceries up, and the man is more than halfway to the doors. I try to catch up to him, but he’s just getting a cart.)

Customer: *sees me just as I stop to wait, so that I can put the carts in* “Well, you’ll just have to wait! Thanks for not giving me a cart!”

(He then proceeded to almost toss a small cart across the lobby. Fifteen minutes later I was back inside bagging. He came through my lane and acted like he hadn’t yelled at me or anything.)

Customer: “Which of these two weed-killers is better to use on my lawn?”

Me: “Actually, neither of them. They will kill the grass, also. Try this product, instead.”

Customer: “Why is the little bottle so much more expensive than the big bottle?”

Me: “The smaller product is concentrated; it will make thirty-two gallons of solution. That’s why it costs more.”

Customer: “But why is the bigger bottle cheaper than the smaller one? Is the smaller one better for my lawn?”

Me: “The smaller bottle is concentrated. They are both the same chemical. The big bottle is mostly water.”

Customer: “But which one of these two is better to use on my lawn?”

Me: “Don’t use either of them. You’ll kill the grass. Try this product, instead.”

Customer: “What? But that costs twice as much as the big bottle of weed-killer.”

Me: “It’s the right one to use on your lawn. The others will kill the grass along with the weeds.”

Customer: “I’m going to go with the big bottle. That’s the cheapest one out of all of them. It’s good for my lawn, right?”

Me: “Will that be cash or charge, sir?”

I work at a drive-in fast food restaurant. We have credit card readers on every stall, but the payment doesn’t always go through on the first swipe. We often have to pull the payment screen back up or take the cards to our reader inside.

One of my coworkers was taking out orders to cars. She comes inside holding a drink and says “This lady would like to speak with a manager. She says she paid already and I tried telling her it didn’t go through but she won’t listen–”

Just then this customer throws our door open and screams at my coworker, “EXCUSE ME, YOU CAN’T JUST WALK AWAY WITH MY DRINK!” We calmly try to explain to her that we can’t give customers their orders until a payment has been received, but she isn’t having it. “I DID PAY. THE SCREEN SAID MESSAGE RECEIVED!”

“No, ma’am, that means that your order went through, not the payment–” my manager starts, but is again interrupted. “THAT DRINK IS FOR MY CHILD AND YOU KEEP WALKING AWAY WITH IT. HOW DO I KNOW YOU HAVEN’T SPAT IN IT? I WANT MY GOD-D*** DRINK!”

We try to assure her no one would spit in it but she keeps screaming, “I ALREADY PAID! I’M NOT SWIPING MY CARD AGAIN! I WANT MY DRINK! MY SON IS VERY UPSET!” (Might I point out, she had left her son in her running car to come in and scream about a drink that is currently half price at 80 cents.) Finally my manager gives up, hands her her drink, cancels the ticket so my coworker won’t come up short, and proclaims that customer as our crazy of the day.