That’s A Good Line

, , , , | Working | April 23, 2018

(It’s a very slow Thursday at the store where I work. I am alone at the service desk, one of the other girls is on a break, and the third girl is putting away returned stock. It’s so slow that I’m surfing NAR discreetly. A woman walks up with her credit card bill in her hand.)

Customer: *looking around* “Can you help me here?”

Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, ma’am. You’ll have to wait in line.”

(I wait a beat, and then continue, as there is definitely no line.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I can help you here.”

Customer: *also joking* “Oh, good, that wait was ridiculous. You need more help here!”

Me: “I know, ma’am, but labor and budgets, and blah blah blah.”

(I’ve finished her transaction, so I hand her the receipt and wish her a good day.)

Customer: “You, too. I hope it slows down a bit!”

(I cracked up and she laughed her way out the door.)

Unfiltered Story #108608

, , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2018

(My friend has come to visit me. She is currently trying to get her life together, and I’m spotting her breakfast at a twenty-four hour restaurant. We pull up and park, and get out of the car, and a group of people come out the door, screaming and yelling. A waitress and the chef are telling them that they have to go now and they are loudly disputing it. Nothing much is clear, but I can hear the waitress repeatedly tell them that they can ‘just go on home’. Once they take off, we head inside.)

Me: “Sounds like you’ve had a bit of trouble tonight.”

Waitress #1: “Yeah, they were being rowdy.”

Me: “I can’t understand why people behave that way.”

Waitress #2: “Alcohol and testosterone, hon.”

Me: “Man, if that was half as crazy as it looked when we pulled up, you should go to this website. It’s called notalwaysright.com.”

Waitress #1: “Yeah, that’d be really funny. Maybe I will.”

(The waitresses go back to their work and Waitress #2 serves us. She keeps saying ‘alcohol and testosterone’. We talk about it for a bit, and eventually I comment:)

Me: “Yeah, that’ll usually do it.”

(Nothing much more happens, but at the end of the meal, when I pay, I tip them more than 10% of my bill. They deserve it, especially since I learn as we’re walking out that the bad customers didn’t pay their whole tab. Those ladies were so nice to me and my friend, and efficient too! Thank you, ladies! I hope that they don’t cause you any more problems!)

Unfiltered Story #108154

, | Unfiltered | March 30, 2018

(I work at a very small coffee shop on a college campus. Besides coffee, we sell pastries, snacks, and juices. I am the only employee who works here. Because of this, in between classes the line can get pretty backed up.

At this point there are about 2 minutes before the next class starts and I have 2 drinks lined up to make. The next customer in line is waiting at the counter.)

Me: *as I start making the next drink* I’ll be right with you sir!

Student: I JUST WANT A BOTTLE OF WATER!

Me: *stops making drink* okay….

(He pays in silence)

Me: Have a good day!

Student: *storms off*

Unfiltered Story #106375

, | Unfiltered | March 1, 2018

I am working closing shift. Because our store is small, we don’t have maintenance to clean our bathrooms like the other stores in our chain. So a coworker and I share the duty. By this point I had only been there a few weeks. Well Friday of that week rolls around, and it’s my turn again. I clean the women’s room. All good and fine. Then Just before I start on the men’s restroom, a regular barges in saying he needs the restroom. Well, he is in there awhile, so I do my closing returns. I finally see him leave, and go to clean the men’s room. That’s when I see it, he has drawn smiley faces in his own waste all over the walls. I run and get my manager. He shakes his head. “Looks like the Friday Night Bandit has struck again.” According to him, the same guy had been doing that for the year we had been open.

You Need The Nurses To Come Back

, , , , | Healthy | February 21, 2018

(My husband is admitted to the local Veterans Administration hospital for heart problems. After hours in the ER, he finally gets a bed on the ward. His nurse comes in to introduce himself, check my husband’s vitals, retake history, and so on.)

Nurse: “Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?”

Me: *knowing what’s coming, I silently plead* “Oh, no… Not again.”

Husband: “Yes. Two weeks vacation, a raise, some sanity, and winning lottery tickets, please.”

Nurse: *dryly* “Sorry, sir. You’ll have to see the Travel and Disbursement clerk for those.”

(My husband has been replying that to ANYONE who asks him if they can get him anything — waitstaff, clerks, medical personnel, etc. — for the entire 30 years I have known him. This is the first time I have heard a really good comeback.)

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