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We’ve All Been There, Bud

, , , , , , , | Friendly | February 23, 2022

I work on an in-house security team for a building. Today, I used the emergency exit to enter our cafeteria in pursuit of beverages because our janitorial staff was cleaning right in front of the main doors and I didn’t want to make footprints. Using this door brought me into the cafeteria from an unusual direction, and I ended up catching an employee off-guard.

He is a heavily-built guy — about 360 pounds on a six-foot-tall frame — and he was kneeling on the floor with his face pressed against the glass of our soda vending machine, his hands limp at his sides.

Me: “Ummm, are you okay?”

Employee: “Yeaaaah.”

Me: “Uhh… Whatcha… doin’?”

Employee: “Fitness.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Employee: “I told myself that I would only get a [Sugary Tea Drink] if I could do the same number of squats as the item number.”

I look at the machine. The tea in question is item fifty-two.

Me: “Oh…”

Employee: “Yeah, it didn’t go well. I fell down.”

Me: “Do you require a medical response?”

Employee: “No.”

Me: “Can you get up?”

Employee: “I can… but I decided not to.”

Me: “Oh, uhhh… Do you want to talk about it?”

Employee: “What? Really?”

Me: “Yeah, I don’t see why not.”

This perked him up and he got to his feet. We are now going to meet up and work out together in the building fitness center after my shift and talk about weight loss and goals and things.

Calling A Front Desk, Not THE Front Desk

, , , , | Right | July 16, 2021

I work in a hotel as a front desk rep. I used to do the morning shift but started doing the overnights more. The hotel I work at is located right next to a mall, as well as several restaurants, and is really close to the main highway. It’s usually very busy.

Every single day, I get calls from guests and also non-guests asking about OTHER businesses. And I don’t mean just restaurants or shops close by, but for other hotels. Normally, they just ask for directions or what restaurants have on their menus. I usually just Google the information, but after a while, I begin to memorize some things because of how frequently it happens.

However, with the health crisis hitting us, many businesses have either closed or reduced their hours and menus, and I don’t have them all memorized anymore. As restrictions begin to lift, the businesses begin to change hours and many restaurants begin to offer their regular menus.

One night, I get a call from someone who I assume is a guest of ours. The speaker on the other end says that they want to know the business hours of a restaurant across the street from us. I Google the information and relay the hours as well as the menu for the speaker.

Caller: “Do they do delivery?”

Me: “Well, their website says they use [Delivery Service], but since they’re closing in thirty minutes, I don’t know if they’ll still do any delivery orders. You can definitely call and ask.”

Caller: “Well, I was hoping you’d know.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I only know whatever Google tells me. I’ve never ordered from them before, and I know a lot of businesses do deliveries differently. I would recommend calling them and asking if they could deliver at this time. But it is right across the street from us.”

Caller: “I see. Well, I’m not really in a position to go and pick it up myself.”

This does puzzle me a bit, since it is literally across the street and an easy five-minute walk. But, I figure maybe they already showered and are in bed, or they have kids and don’t want to take them with or leave them behind. It’s not really my business, but I don’t know how to help them with that.

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry I can’t help you any further. I suggest calling them directly and confirming their deliveries.”

Caller: “Well, that’s just ridiculous that you don’t know, and that you had to use Google in the first place. Do they not deliver to your hotel?”

Me: “I dunno, probably. But most times, guests just go across the street themselves and get it.”

Caller: “Well, I’m not staying at your hotel; I’m actually at a different hotel.”

Me: “T-then why did you call and ask me? Surely your hotel desk could’ve helped. Or why didn’t you call the business instead?”

Caller: “I once stayed at your location and really liked that restaurant, but you didn’t have any rooms open, so I had to go to a different hotel.”

Me: “I see. Well, I’m glad you found something you like, but I really do suggest you call the restaurant. They’re closing in twenty minutes.”

Reluctantly, they hung up with me and I just stared at the phone in amazement. Sure, I get when stranded travelers come in and ask for help or even just random people off the street ask for directions because “you work close by to where I need to go” but still, I’ve never had something like that happen before.

Wish They Could Take A Few Steps Further Away

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2020

I’m a customer at a big-name bookstore, browsing, when I witness an older man getting help from an employee in the music/movie section.

Customer: “Can I pay for this record here?”

Employee: “No, sir, these registers haven’t been turned on today. I can ring you up over there, though.”

The man grumbles but follows.

Customer: “I guess people just don’t like vinyl. That’s why they stopped making them, you know, back in the day.”

The employee just makes non-committal sounds and I lose track of them as I go about my own business. However, as I head up to the register later, I see this man standing with his hands on his hips by the customer service desk.

Customer: “Where’s my copy? Hey! Where’s my copy?”

He practically barks at the girl on the desk. I have no idea what he is referring to.

Employee: “She’ll be right back with it, sir.”

He makes a disgusted sound and turns, looking fed up.

Customer: “Ridiculous.”

As I get to the line, I see him stalk toward someone and he instantly lights into her.

Customer: “You know this is unacceptable! Where is your store manager?”

Employee: “He’s in a meeting, but I’m a manager. I—”

Customer: “No, you write his name and number down. I’ll call him! I had to hoof it all the way from over there to here just to check out. That is plain ridiculous! You’ve lost a sale! You tell your manager you’ve lost a sale!”

Employee: “Sir, I think you should leave this store.”

Customer: “Oh, I will, and I won’t be back. I hope you go out of business!”

Employee: “Sir, you are being rude. Please leave.”

Customer: “And you can go to h***!”

He stalked off, muttering all the way out the door, while I and a few others in line just watched him go, shaking our heads and exchanging “Did that really just happen?” glances.

The manager sighed heavily and apologized to those of us nearby. I told her I was just glad that she could talk back to that guy and not put up with his nonsense. All that just because a few registers weren’t open during a slow day?

Are We Open? Nein!

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2020

My restaurant closes at nine. Sometimes, if we are super busy, I will not be able to lock the doors exactly at nine, but if it’s slow, as a manager, I can close up to twenty minutes early. 

I have an absolute idiot call at 8:58 as I am sitting at my computer doing checkouts.

Caller: “Hey, is it too late to order?”

Me: “We close at nine, sir.”

Caller: “But can I still order?”

Me: “How far away are you? We close in a minute and a half.”

Caller: “I’m at the [Hotel that is at least a five-minute walk away]. I can hustle over.”

Me: “Our door lock at nine, sir.”

Caller: “I don’t understand. Are you closed?”

Me: “We are open… for another minute.”

Caller: “So can I order?”

Me: “Can you get here in sixty seconds?”

Caller: “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

By the time I got off the phone, it was past nine and one of my employees had locked the door. Around 9:10, the phone started ringing again, presumably him, and I just ignored it.

Microsoft Doesn’t Works

, , , , , , | Right | December 5, 2020

I completely understand that not everyone is great with computers. Sometimes, it’s just simple stuff, but as long as they’re willing to learn, I’m happy to go over it with them. This one woman, however, drives me to insanity. She’s maybe in her late thirties.

She has come in multiple times and has asked me to show her how to do the same thing each time: to save and print her document. I get the overall impression that she isn’t listening to me.

Up until the most recent encounter with her, it appeared that she was knowledgeable with Word as she had a full paper done in the seemingly correct format, double-spaced, and indented properly.

Patron: “Hey, can you help me indent this paragraph? It’s giving me issues.”

Me: “Sure! Okay, just press Enter to get that to the new paragraph, then press Tab to… Oh.”

It turns out that instead of using the easy Select All and double-space feature on Word, she had pressed enter after each line to make the document double-spaced.

Me: “Oh, hey, I have a super easy trick to double-space everything at once that will solve your formatting issue. Just go up here to—”

Patron: “—and click that and press 2.0 to double-space. Yeah, I know. It’s fine; I’ll just print it this way. Now how do I save and print?”

I showed her, yet again, and then walked away, extremely bewildered. I dread when she comes in because she always asks for help and I know she won’t listen to anything I say.