Unfiltered Story #199821

, , , | Unfiltered | July 1, 2020

I work at a pizza restaurant. We’re known for having dozens of topping options, all of which are listed on our website. People still call in and ask what we have, though, and we will read the list to them if they want. Usually we barely get through a dozen of the meat choices (the first section we read; we have veggie, seafood, cheese, and sauce sections too) before the customer will stop us and gives more of a direction for what they want. One night I was working, this situation happened, and the woman decided on what she wanted:

Her: I’lljust have sausage.

Me: What kind of sausage would you like? We have eight types available.

Her: What kinds?

I read her the list, which includes a turkey Italian sausage.

Her: What’s the turkey made from?

Me (thinking I misheard or misunderstood): I’m sorry?

Her: What kind of meat is the turkey made from?

Me: …

Her: …

Me: The turkey Italian sausage is made from turkey meat.

Her: Nah, I don’t want that. I’ll take the pork sausage.

I finished up her order and hung up. I turn to my coworkers, including one of the managers on at the time, and ask, completely straight-faced: What’s the turkey made from?

Unfiltered Story #199817

, , , | Unfiltered | June 30, 2020

As a 2nd shift manager, I received a call stating that our overnight cook couldn’t come in. I, of course, decided to stay and help out the overnight manager as a cook. Being a very slow night, we are sitting at the patio talking when a mini-van pulls up to the drive-thru. The overnight manager says, “Oh, no. Not again.” I ask him what the problem is and he tells me that this lady always orders something and then goes back around saying she got the wrong food just to get free food. I tell him to stay outside and I’ll handle it. After taking the order, repeating it 3 times to make sure it is correct, cooking the food myself (fresh), making the transaction through the window, (myself) all the while being polite, sure enough, she just pulls around. “Welcome to ____,how may I help you?” …Start the cursing here with this lady telling me that I had messed her order up. As I knew what she was trying to do, “Listen here you stupid bitch, I take over 200 orders a day and don’t ever fuck up.” The next thing I hear are tires screeching through my head-set and a loud crash at the window.. Turns out, she crashed her van into the side of the business, almost hit 2 pedestrians, left her back license plate at the scene so the police found her. All because she was a cheap, verbally abusive person who didn’t get her way.

Boris Can See Through You

, , , , , | Right | May 12, 2020

The mall is located right next to the airport, so we tend to get a lot of foreigners. Two customers enter the store.

Me: “Hello, is there anything I can—”

Customer: *With a thick accent* “We do not speak English; we are Russian.”

Me: “Добрый вечер.”

Customer: *Drops accent* “Okay, we aren’t Russian.”

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Her Complaints Fall Flat  

, , , , | Right | March 4, 2020

(I know this couple is going to be a handful from the moment they sit down… at a dirty table, not the one the host was leading them toward. They glare at me as I wipe it down and quickly get them silverware and menus, as if it’s my fault they were seated there.)

Me: *quickly goes through menu spiel and offers drinks*

Demanding Lady: “I want a [Soda]. And make sure it’s not flat! I hate flat sodas.”

Me: “Sure thing.” *returns quickly with sodas*

Demanding Lady: *without tasting even a sip of her drink, holds it up to the light and glares at it* “This [soda] is flat! I told you I hate flat drinks! Go get this fixed!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. I don’t know if we can adjust that here, but I’ll see what we can do.”

(I hurry away to find our manager, who tells me — as I knew — that the soda machine can’t be adjusted by us. The manager also tastes the soda and assures me that it’s fine. I also taste it and it’s not flat at all. I run a new glass with more ice in it and rush it out so it’s still fizzing when I put it on the table.)

Demanding Lady: *false sickly sweetness* “Well, lo and behold, you could do something about it. This is much better.”

Me: *still smiling* “I’m glad it’s good, ma’am.”

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Good Thing The Players Were Smarter Than Their Fans

, , , , , | Learning | February 12, 2020

(It’s the Friday before our local pro football team is going to play in The Big Game, and most students at the school where I teach are wearing team gear. One student comes into the classroom with the star quarterback’s jersey on, but has it on backward.)

Teacher: “Dude, [Student], your shirt’s on backward.”

Student: “Huh?”

Teacher: “Your shirt. It’s supposed to say [Player] on the back, not the front.”

Student: “Oh.”

Teacher: “If you want to go ahead and turn it around right here, you can; I won’t judge.”

Student: *spins on his heels and does a 360*

Teacher: “Never mind; go sit down.”

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