A couple walked up to me, and the guy asked:
Customer: “Hey, do you have any guacamole trees?”
His girlfriend and I looked at each other, then back to him, to which I replied:
Me: “Do you mean avocado trees?”
Customer: “…Yeah, that’s the one!”
I just smiled and showed them where we kept the trees.
Related:
Avocado-No-No, Part 5
Avocado-No-No, Part 4
Avocado-No-No, Part 3
Avocado-No-No, Part 2
Avocado-No-No
A customer is standing directly in front of a shelf full of weed killer.
Customer: “Excuse me, am I allowed to buy this weed killer?”
Me: “Yeah, of course. Just grab one and take it up to the till.”
Customer: “But it says ‘not to be taken’ on the bottle.”
Me: “That means you’re not supposed to drink it.”
Customer: “Oh. They should really put that on the bottle.”
Me: “They did. That’s the bit you just read.”
I work for a plant store and nursery. We’re helping out a local botanical garden by raising a lot of a certain plant, so we have a lot of plants outside getting ready for multiple pick-ups.
A car pulls into the parking lot, and a woman gets out, opening the back door and ushering out three young children.
She then stops, looks around as if for the first time, and looks confused.
Woman: “Google said this was a nursery?”
Me: “Yes, a plant nursery.”
Woman: “Where do I leave the kids?”
Me: “Again, a plant nursery. Not that kind of nursery.”
Woman: “What’s a plant nursery?”
I gesture to the huge selection of plants covering the entire storefront.
Me: “A place where we nurse plants from seeds to the point where they can be sold and survive in customers’ homes and gardens.”
Woman: “Well… don’t call this place a nursery! It’s confusing! You’re not even looking after things that run around!”
She looks at her kids again, standing there still and chill, and then looks back to me, expectantly.
Woman: “I don’t suppose… you could…”
Me: “—I only look after things that photosynthesize.”
She huffs and ushers her kids back into the car.
Woman: “Come on, kids, looks like you’re going to annoy mommy’s hairstylist again…”
Customer: “So does this little tree seriously grow lemons?”
Me: “No, because that’s a lime tree.”
Customer: “Could it grow lemons if you water it with lemon water?”
Me: “Ha, that’s a good one.”
Customer: “…”
Me: “Oh my god, you’re being serious, aren’t you?”
It’s a hot summer. I work at a garden store, so naturally, the store itself is also pretty warm. We sell drinks at the front of the store in order to quench our poor customers’ thirst.
Customer: “I’ll get a Sprite.”
I take one out of the fridge, but she says:
Customer: “Oh, no, I wanted regular Sprite.”
Me: “This is regular Sprite.”
Customer: “No, it says lemon-lime on it! It’s not regular Sprite!”
Me: “Uhm… that’s the default Sprite flavor.”
Customer: “No, it’s not. Sprite is Sprite flavored.”
Me: “I’ve been drinking Sprite my whole life, and I’m fairly certain it has always been lemon-lime flavored.”
Customer: “No, Sprite is Sprite flavored, like how Coke is Coke flavored and Dr. Pepper is Dr. Pepper flavored.”
Me: “Sprite flavor is lemon and lime.”
Customer: “No, it isn’t.”
Me: “Well, I’m afraid this is the only Sprite we have.”
Customer: “I guess that’ll have to do.”
She pays for it and takes a gulp.
Customer: “Oh wow, this tastes just like Sprite!”