When I was young, I was pretty well known as a smart kid with a smart mouth. I was also known as the super short girl who always had a book. Luckily, my class was pretty nice — we didn’t have nearly as many bullying problems as other grades — because I would’ve been an extremely easy target. But whenever someone did pick on me, it made my blood boil.

Toward the end of middle school, I was in the last book of a series I’d been reading for several months. A boy I didn’t talk to all that often walked up to where I was reading at my desk.

Boy: “What are you reading?”

Me: “[Book].”

Boy: “Have you read it before?”

Me: “No, this is my first time!”

Boy: “[Favorite Character] dies.”

My little eighth-grade self was ready for murder. Sadly, he was correct, and my favorite character died, but he was later granted his life back. For the rest of the year, I used a cloth cover on all of my library books so the boy wouldn’t be able to spoil them for me again.

I have an allergy to the preservative in most vaccines and have a heart condition that makes the use of an epi-pen unsafe without direct medical observation afterward. Therefore, I’m unable to be vaccinated without being hospitalized to monitor my heart for up to a week after. Because of this, I do not get the flu vaccine ever.

I’m at the six-week follow-up after giving birth.

Nurse: “Will we be getting the flu shot today, as well?”

Me: “No, I don’t get vaccinations for medical reasons.”

Nurse: “But don’t you want to protect your baby? You know if you don’t get it he’ll have to get one.”

Me: “No. As I already said, I am not interested in the flu shot for medical reasons, and his pediatrician is fine with him not getting it, either, since everyone else he will be exposed to, other than me, will have their flu shot.”

Nurse: “Just because you’re afraid of needles, it doesn’t mean you can’t get it. They have a nose spray now, you know.”

The nurse continues to try to convince me to get the shot for another ten minutes by guilt-tripping me about endangering my baby and being a bad person for not getting it for “frivolous” reasons. Then, my OB comes in and shoos her away. After speaking with her, she sends the nurse back in to give me a birth control shot and a shot of an antihistamine just in case I have an allergic reaction to the preservative in the birth control. I turn around and pull my pants down for the shot and feel two sticks, only to hear:

Nurse: “See? That wasn’t so bad! You got your birth control and the flu shot in one go!”

Me: “DID YOU EVEN READ MY CHART?! I’M ALLERGIC TO THE PRESERVATIVE IN THE FLU SHOT! IT COULD KILL ME!”

The nurse didn’t even look like she cared. She just walked out, leaving me sobbing and trying to stay calm so I could get an epi shot before I stopped being able to breathe.

Thankfully, my OB was able to give me an epi shot within a few minutes of the flu shot, but I still spent a week in the hospital afterward. The good news is that the nurse lost her licenses and faced criminal charges.

This story is part of the Highest Voted of 2021 roundup!

Read the next Highest Voted of 2021 roundup story!

Read the Highest Voted of 2021 roundup!

This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

I work at a Chinese restaurant as a host. I mostly take orders for takeout on the phone and seat guests. On weekdays, we have a lunch special where the meal comes with fried rice instead of steamed, soup, and an eggroll or wontons. The number of people looking at the menu, which lists all these options, and asking me what comes with the special is astonishing, but this customer takes the cake.

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to order takeout.”

Me: “Sure, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Can I get [meal]?”

Me: “Of course. Would you like that as a dinner entree or the lunch special?”

Customer: “Oh, what’s the difference?”

Me: “The entree comes with a larger portion of the meal with steamed rice. The special comes with a smaller portion, fried rice, a choice of an eggroll or wontons, and a choice of soup.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take the lunch special.”

Me: “What would you like with that?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Would you like an eggroll or wontons?”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know it came with that. I’ll take an eggroll.”

Me: “And what kind of soup?”

Customer: “Oh, it comes with soup? I didn’t know it came with that.”

Me: “…”

Related:
No Soup For You!, Part 3
No Soup For You!, Part 2
No Soup For You!

A husband and wife come in to see a movie over thirty minutes early. We have three auditoriums and they go into the wrong one for forty minutes. They come out and get mad at us because they read the sign wrong.

Me: “May I remind you that you haven’t missed any of your movie yet?”

They go into their movie for forty-five minutes, and then they come out.

Husband: “We decided it was boring and we want to go into the 3D movie you have playing downstairs.”

My manager lets them after arguing them into paying at least the $2 3D surcharge. They come out after an hour and a half.

Husband: “That was boring, too; we want a full refund.”

Manager: “No.”

They flip their s*** and we tell them to leave.

Wife: “I’m never coming here again. I’m only going to see movies at [Theater around the corner]!”

That theater is the same company as us, with the same bank account — not a corporate chain, just two theaters.

Me: “Please do!”

An hour later, the husband comes back.

Husband: “My wife left my jacket in the movie.”

Me: “Well, that means it could be literally anywhere in here!”

I work at a big store that contains a lot of self-checkouts. I’m handling a group, or bullpen, of seven checkouts, four of which are in “card-only” mode because of our penny shortage at the store. To try and get customers to understand “card-only,” there are five locations on the machine that tell a customer the mode it’s in: the bar above the machine, a sign covering the cash insert slot, a sign above the scanner, a huge red square around the touch screen with “Cards Only” written all over, and a prompt that makes customers acknowledge that the machine is card only.

It’s been about thirty minutes into the day and I’ve already had three out of seven customers try to use cash in the card-only machines. A customer walks in with a moderate cart of groceries. 

Me: “Hello, do you need help with anything?”

The customer shakes her head.

Me: “If you need anything, let me know.”

I walk off and tend to the pay station as there are only two customers, including her, in the bullpen. I watch her scan her item and look at the prompt. She seems to read it for a good two minutes before hitting “yes.” The customer proceeds to scan the rest of her items before getting out her wallet. She then proceeds to pull out bills and look for a place to insert them. She even goes as far as removing the sign on the cash insert slot and tries to put it in there. I walk over.

Me: “Ma’am, this is a card-only machine. It won’t accept cash.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t know that! You should’ve said something!”

I’m already irritated by the past three customers not paying attention.

Me: “How is that possible? I watched you hit ‘yes’ to the prompt that was on the screen explaining that this machine was card-only.”

Customer: “That’s just one thing! I wasn’t paying attention!”

I sigh softly and then point to the other four signs that indicate that the machine is card-only. She realizes that it was her fault she wasn’t paying attention, thankfully.

Customer: “Well… can you save my transaction?” 

Me: “I wish I could help, but unfortunately, because I don’t have money in my till, you will have to rescan everything at another machine that can take cash.”

Surprisingly, she just nodded, gathered her stuff, and went to another machine.

The rest of the day was better, but that didn’t stop people from not paying attention to the five different signs that were shoved in their faces.