I work at a print shop/office supply store that serves as a shipping and drop-off location. I’ve finished typing in the sender and receiver information and I’m moving onto the security features. Every shipping has this.

Me: “Would you mind giving a declared value of the contents? We need to know for insurance purposes.”

Customer: “Why do you need to know?”

Me: “For insurance purposes.”

Customer: *Hesitantly* “Let’s say… um… a thousand dollars.”

Me: “All right, and could I get a description of the contents? Just to make sure we aren’t shipping anything illegal or hazardous.”

Customer: “I kind of feel like this is an invasion of my privacy.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t ship it unless I know what is inside. If it’s documents, you can just say documents; you don’t need to be specific.”

Customer: *Hesitantly again* “Let’s put down… computer.”

We couldn’t ship the computer anyway because of the lithium battery, but I want to ask the third security question.

Me: “Before we can ship this out and have you pay for this label, I’ll need to see a valid ID. We use this for legal purposes and making sure customers are liable for the contents of the package.”

Customer: “Oh, you know, I left my wallet in the car. Could you ship it without my ID?”

It’s suspicious to not bring money in for something he knew he was paying for.

Me: “Sir, we can’t ship this package out unless you pay for it and show me a valid ID.”

Customer: “You know what? This was a s***ty service today. I’ll just go somewhere else for this. I hate my privacy being under attack.”

Me: “Um… okay… You can leave, then.”

I kind of wonder why he was so hesitant to say both $1,000 and a computer. It didn’t even weigh that much, and the size of the package wouldn’t have had room for a desktop or laptop.

Every few weeks, [Friend #1], [Friend #2], [Friend #3], and I plan little outings to catch up. This week is my turn to plan. [Friend 1#] tells me that [Friend #4] wants to go. I agree, even though I barely know him, because it brings the cost down and he seems like a nice guy. Before booking and paying, I send out a mass text.

Me: “Hi, all! The total for our adventure is $1,000. With all five of us, it’s $200 each. Is that okay with everyone or should we look for something smaller?”

The first three friends agree that it’s okay. [Friend #4] doesn’t respond. I wait for a full day before contacting him directly.

Me: “Are you good for $200 for [event]?”

Friend #4: “K.”

Me: “Okay, I’m gonna book it. You can pay me there.”

Friend #4: “I said OK.”

The day of the event comes and we all gather at my house. My first three friends have cash in hand, but [Friend #4] shows up empty-handed. I pull him aside. 

Me: *Quietly* “Hey, do you have your money?”

Friend #4: “No.”

Me: “I told you it’s $200 to go out today.”

Friend #4: “I don’t have that kind of money.”

Me: *Frustrated* “So why did you tell me you were good? I asked—”

Friend #4: “You said I could go.”

Me: “If you pay.”

Friend #4: “You didn’t say that. You invited me out and now you expect me to pay?”

Me: *Sigh* “If we cover you, can you pay us back?”

Friend #4: “You already paid for everything, right? It’s not a lot more if you—”

Me: “No. You pay or you don’t go.”

Friend #4: “I drove all the way here and you aren’t going to let me go?”

I shrug.

Friend #4: “F*** you!”

I’m one of those people who laugh when they get mad, like now.

Me: “Get the f*** out of here.”

Friend #4: “You know what? I heard you were a c***, but I gave you the benefit. Now I see he was right. You’re f****** white-a** trash. F*** you!”

I tell our friends what happened. [Friend #1] shakes his head. 

Friend #1: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. He has money; he just doesn’t like to spend it. He pulled the same s*** at dinner the other night.”

Me: “Well… thanks for being so flexible. But if any of you ask if [Friend #4] can come with us again, my answer is no.”

My friends all pitched in to help cover [Friend #4]’s absence. He tried to wedge his way into another event a few weeks later, but I shut him down without hesitation.

I’m dining in a restaurant and overhear another customer ordering a drink.

Customer: “Could I please get a lychee lime slushy?”

Waitress: “Yes, anything else?”

Customer: “Nope, that’s it, thanks.”

The waitress goes to the kitchen and comes back.

Waitress: “Hi, sorry, you ordered a lychee lime slushy?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Waitress: “I’ve just checked with the kitchen and they’ve run out of lychee.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, then could I get the watermelon lychee slushy, please?”

Waitress: “We don’t have lychee, sorry.”

Customer: “Yeah, so could I get the watermelon lychee, then?”

Waitress: “We don’t have lychee.”

Customer’s Friend: “They’ve run out of lychee! Get a drink without lychee!”

Customer: “Oh! Sorry, could instead of the lychee in the watermelon lychee, could I sub it for lime?”

Waitress: “Yes, sure! I’ll be back with your drink.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

The dealership I work at offers free rental cars when customers are getting their cars serviced and it will be a while before their cars are ready. We always ask if they got everything out of the car when they drop it off, but sometimes little things — mostly parking passes and EZ passes — get left behind. It’s nothing a phone call can’t fix.

One day, a guy drops a rental car off and picks his car up. A coworker goes out to do a quick sweep of the car and comes back with a car seat and some swim goggles.

Coworker: “How do you leave a car seat behind?”

Me: “He did not! I have no idea.”

Coworker: “Yeah.”

My coworker calls the guy and he comes by about half an hour later to pick them up.

Customer: “Thank you. I don’t know how I left the seat behind. The goggles aren’t mine, but I’ll take them anyway.”

After he leaves, we give the car over to our cleaning department to have it vacuumed and disinfected. The next day, one of the cleaners brings me the keys along with a pouch that has a bank logo on it. I glance inside and see a bunch of papers. The customer’s name is on the papers, so I give him a quick call.

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “It’s [My Name] from [Dealership].”

Customer: “Let me guess, you found a [Bank] bag.”

Me: “Yes. The cleaner said it was under a seat.”

Customer: “I’ll be over in about half an hour.”

Thankfully, the guy didn’t have to come back a third time to pick up something else.

I’m still relatively new. At one of our self-checkouts, the bill acceptor isn’t working. Due to customers not paying attention, more and more signs have been added to the register saying, “Cards only, NO CASH,” with a sign on the acceptor which is slightly off to the side, the top of the screen, the bottom of the screen, and the countertop next to the scanner, in addition to the programmed message that explains this as well and makes you to press “Okay” before continuing. So there are five warnings in all.

Customer: “I didn’t know this thing didn’t take cash. I didn’t see the sign all the way over there. You should put the sign right there instead.”

She’s pointing right at the sign on the bottom of the screen.

Me: “Ma’am, there is. And up there and down there. And I saw you press ‘Okay’ on the screen that explained that it was card only when you started.”

She silently moved over to the next register with her purchase as I canceled the transaction on the first one and came to the realization that no amount of signs and warnings will ever be enough for some customers.