How To Get Yourself Permanently Uninvited

Every few weeks, [Friend #1], [Friend #2], [Friend #3], and I plan little outings to catch up. This week is my turn to plan. [Friend 1#] tells me that [Friend #4] wants to go. I agree, even though I barely know him, because it brings the cost down and he seems like a nice guy. Before booking and paying, I send out a mass text.

Me: “Hi, all! The total for our adventure is $1,000. With all five of us, it’s $200 each. Is that okay with everyone or should we look for something smaller?”

The first three friends agree that it’s okay. [Friend #4] doesn’t respond. I wait for a full day before contacting him directly.

Me: “Are you good for $200 for [event]?”

Friend #4: “K.”

Me: “Okay, I’m gonna book it. You can pay me there.”

Friend #4: “I said OK.”

The day of the event comes and we all gather at my house. My first three friends have cash in hand, but [Friend #4] shows up empty-handed. I pull him aside. 

Me: *Quietly* “Hey, do you have your money?”

Friend #4: “No.”

Me: “I told you it’s $200 to go out today.”

Friend #4: “I don’t have that kind of money.”

Me: *Frustrated* “So why did you tell me you were good? I asked—”

Friend #4: “You said I could go.”

Me: “If you pay.”

Friend #4: “You didn’t say that. You invited me out and now you expect me to pay?”

Me: *Sigh* “If we cover you, can you pay us back?”

Friend #4: “You already paid for everything, right? It’s not a lot more if you—”

Me: “No. You pay or you don’t go.”

Friend #4: “I drove all the way here and you aren’t going to let me go?”

I shrug.

Friend #4: “F*** you!”

I’m one of those people who laugh when they get mad, like now.

Me: “Get the f*** out of here.”

Friend #4: “You know what? I heard you were a c***, but I gave you the benefit. Now I see he was right. You’re f****** white-a** trash. F*** you!”

I tell our friends what happened. [Friend #1] shakes his head. 

Friend #1: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. He has money; he just doesn’t like to spend it. He pulled the same s*** at dinner the other night.”

Me: “Well… thanks for being so flexible. But if any of you ask if [Friend #4] can come with us again, my answer is no.”

My friends all pitched in to help cover [Friend #4]’s absence. He tried to wedge his way into another event a few weeks later, but I shut him down without hesitation.