My coworker was getting a car and asked me if I could drop her off at the dealership. I agreed, dropped her off, and went about my merry little business.

A couple of months later, someone on the third shift came in and spoke to me.

Third-Shift Worker: “Hey, I thought you said [Coworker] got a car? Because she’s test driving down at [Other Local Dealer].”

I didn’t really care. Maybe she decided to take the first one back and get a better one. Not my problem.

Well, it became my problem two days later when I got a call from an unknown number.

Person: “Is this [My Name]?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, can I help you?”

Person: “We’re calling to report that [Coworker] has not paid for her vehicle in the past three months. We need you to either contact her or send in the payment yourself.”

Me: *Pauses* “Why would I pay for the car myself?”

Person: “Well, you’re the cosigner.”

Me: “No, I am not.”

And I hung up on them. I’m sure you can imagine the immediate panic, horror, WTF, and the billion other emotions exploding through me at that moment.

By now, that evil monster had long since quit the store where we worked and gone elsewhere. I didn’t know where she was, and the phone number I had for her wasn’t correct anymore. I called up the dealership where she was last seen, and I put on my absolute BEST customer service voice.

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] from [Store], and I’m calling because we need to locate a Miss [Coworker]. It’s very important, and I was just wondering if she was there today.”

They said she was a customer there and they couldn’t say anything more. I broke down almost crying and explained the situation to them, explaining that somehow this other dealer was convinced I’d cosigned for her when I hadn’t and that I needed to find her and find out what was happening.

With as much chaos and nonsense that happens at my workplace at work, I’m pretty well known by everyone who comes in — enough that they know my voice and recognize me outside of work. The lady seemed to be one of these people, and she put me on hold. A couple of minutes later, she came back on.

Off the record, she suggested that I go and have lunch at a specific little pizza place because the service was “awesome”. I had to go to work, so I hung up and had my mom go check it out. Sure enough, [Coworker] was there, working. Mom later said that when [Coworker] realized just WHO Mom was, she went pale as a sheet. Mom was cool enough to not scream at her, but anyone who knows Mom is aware that she doesn’t NEED to threaten you. You don’t piss my mother off; you KNOW she’ll come after you. Mom very calmly and sweetly got information about the car out of [Coworker]. 

We found out that she’d dumped this little jalopy of a car at a movie theater. I called the towing company that did business with the store. Thankfully, the owner knew me. I asked him to tow the car to the dealership and he agreed to get it there for free. 

Guess who’s been getting free drinks at my store on my watch since then? (I pay for them, but still…)

The owner of the dealership said that as a cosigner, I was now liable for not only the remaining payments, BUT I also had to replace the tires which had been slashed, the windshield which had been busted, and the radio which had been stolen.

I was aware of a state law that this specific dealership seemed to be trying to weasel out of. State law says that if you sell a car to someone and they return it in poor condition, you take the money out of what they have already paid you for the vehicle. If you have still made more than the Blue Book value on the vehicle, they are no longer responsible for payments.

This car Blue-Booked at $150. If it had a full tank of gas, it might have Blue-Booked at $160. I brought this to their attention, and they pulled out the file that had me listed as a cosigner and tried to use that. 

I freaked out and channeled my inner Get-Your-Manager personality.

Me: “THAT IS NOT MY F****** SIGNATURE! THAT IS NOT MY SIGNATURE! YOU F****** LET HER FORGE IT?! REALLY?!”

I grabbed a sheet of paper and signed my name on it.

Me: “THAT IS MY SIGNATURE! THEY LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! F*** YOU AND EVERYONE YOU KNOW! I HOPE YOU FALL IN A DITCH!”

I shredded the paper I signed and took the pieces with me as I stormed out. (I wasn’t stupid.) 

Owner: *Yelling* “If you don’t man up and take responsibility for your actions, I will take you to court! Do you really want that?”

Me: “That is an awesome idea, pal! No, really!!” *Honestly giddy and genuine smile* “Because, see, I’m pretty f****** sure that forgery is a felony offense and that you would be an accessory to it. I’m really eager to see what a judge has to say about it! What should I name this place when I own it?”

I left after that, and to this day, I haven’t heard a word from them. This happened about fourteen years ago, and we did check my credit report repeatedly and file a report with the police. I’m in the clear, thankfully.

Related:
The Unbelievable Freaking Audacity Of Some People

I did a bit of teaching before I realised that it just wasn’t for me. I loved educating and some of the kids were great. The others drove me up the wall and out of teaching altogether. There is nothing like working long hours for low pay — even spending your own money — to try to help someone, only to have it repeatedly thrown back in your face.

A few years later, I’m shopping for a new car, and who do I see but a former student, [Employee], one of the rudest, most arrogant, horrible souls I’ve ever met. He was completely capable of the work but just liked to be a smarta*** and hated to see others get on. He caused constant interruptions, had zero work ethic, and was a bully and a cheater. 

[Employee] looks at me and clearly recognises me but he doesn’t seem to be sure from where. It looks like he is the only employee available. Great.

Me: “I’m looking for a small run around, something fuel-efficient, so low CO2 emissions and low tax. It’s for a company car.”

Employee: “Okay, well, err…. We do have… Hang on. Yes, a good deal on [Model #1] at the moment. Price starts from—”

Me: “Let me stop you there. You are not listening. I want a small, efficient, low-tax car. [Model] is a large car, completely unsuitable for what I asked.”

Employee: “Yes, but the deals on at the moment—”

Me: “I don’t care about the deals. I’ve seen the prices. I need a small, fuel-efficient car. That means low CO2. [Model #1] will cost me more in tax than I would save with a smaller car.”

Employee: “Oh, I, err, have to ask my manager.”

He disappears for some time. He clearly has not changed since his school days. He never could listen to people then.

Employee: “Okay, so I talked to my manager, and we do have a second offer on [Model #1]; it is a lease contract.”

Me: “I just told you I don’t want [Model #1]. [Model #2], [Model #3], and [Model #4] are all far more suitable. Why are you pushing something that I told you I have no interest in? I already said it’s a business car, so it would be business finance.”

Employee: “Well, [Model #1] does have the best deals at the moment.”

Me: “Boring!”

Employee: “What?”

Me: *Louder* “Boring, not listening!”

Employee: “Come on, mate. I’m just trying to do my job!”

The irony is lost on him completely.

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

Me: “Yeah, can I get another salesperson? This one is incapable of listening.”

Manager: “Oh, sure. Why don’t you step into my office and I will see if I can help?”

I don’t know if [Employee] ever figured out who I was, but it did feel good to give him some of his own medicine. The manager sorted out a great little car for me in no time at all. It’s not so hard when you actually listen, I guess!

I’m a cashier at a dealership. I’m brought a customer who will be making a down payment on a car. She hands me a check. When we get checks, we run the check through a system right then and there that tells us if the check is good or not. The entire time I’m running the check, the customer is nothing but polite. Her check is approved, I print out the approval form, and I make her a receipt.

Me: “Okay, I just need a signature here saying your check was approved.”

The customer signs. I start handing her her things. One of the service advisors brings up a customer to pay for their service ticket.

Me: “Okay. Here is your copy of the check approval, here is your receipt, here is your driver’s license back, and we processed the check electronically, so you may have that back.”

The customer switches from polite to furious in seconds.

Customer: “Hmph. You should’ve told me.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “You should’ve told me I was going to get my check back before you ran it! Now I’ve wasted a check! I would’ve used my debit card if I had known!”

Some snarky comments start running through my head, but I don’t dare say them out loud, so I end up letting out a nervous chuckle.

Customer: “You think this is funny? I just wasted a check! You need to tell people they’re going to get checks back!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Hmph!” *Grabs her things*

Me: “Have a good day.”

The customer dashes off. I look around. The service advisor, the other customer, and the loaner agent — whose station is right next to mine and has heard everything — all look horrified.

Me: “That came out of absolute nowhere, right?”

Loaner Agent: “Yeah.”

Service Advisor: “What was her problem?”

Me: “I don’t know. Has she never gotten a check back before?”

Service Advisor: “I don’t know.” *Gesturing to [Customer #2]* “He owes $20 for the state inspection.”

Customer #2: “I’m paying in cash. You can do whatever you want with it.”

We saw the first customer head off in the direction of the sales manager’s office, but no one ever came to talk to me about it, so she either didn’t talk to them or they calmed her down somehow.

I’m a cashier at a dealership. I am also the receptionist, but cashiering is my main job. Every Friday morning, the sales team has a meeting for about an hour. Most people understand when I tell them this and have no problem with calling back later. Not this lady. For the entirety of this call, she is mumbling and there is a bit of static, which only makes the mumbling worse.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Dealership]; how can I direct your call?”

Customer: *Mumbles*

Me: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you. Who were you trying to reach?”

Customer: *Mumbles* “…man.”

Me: “Are you trying to reach a salesman?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “They are all in a meeting right now. They will be done at about ten-thirty. If you call back then, one of them will be able to assist you.”

Customer: “Oh. I was just texting…” *mumbles for a while* “…sent me a picture. Connect me to him.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that. You’re breaking up a bit. But all of the salesmen are in a meeting right now.”

I’m guessing she moves to a spot with less static because she comes in slightly clearer.

Customer: “I’m trying to reach a salesman. Your website has a [used car] and I want information on it.”

Me: “Okay. As I said, all of sales is in a meeting right now. They will be done at about ten-thirty. If you call back after that time, they will be able to assist you.”

Customer: “Why can’t you tell me? It’s not that hard. Just get on your computer and look it up.”

Me: “I can’t. I don’t have that access.”

Customer: “You don’t have that access, or are you just too lazy to do your job?”

Me: “No, I don’t have that access.”

Customer: “So, what is your job?”

Me: “I’m the cashier and receptionist.”

Customer: “And what do you do as a receptionist?”

Me: “I answer the phones and connect you to whoever you need to speak to.”

Customer: “So, why can’t you get on your computer and look up the information on a car? It’s not that hard. Do your job and get me that information on the car.”

Me: “I don’t have access to the inventory list. I am not in sales. Sales will be out of their meeting at ten-thirty.”

Customer: *Starts mumbling again* “Who else is there?”

Me: “Right now? Only parts and service. Everyone else is in a meeting. I can connect you with the voicemail of a sales manager and he can call you back once he’s out of the meeting.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand what is so d*** hard about you getting on your computer and looking up car information.”

Me: “Because I do not have that access. You will have to call back after ten-thirty so a salesman can help you.”

The customer hung up. She did not call back.

My wife and I have been looking for a particular model of car for a while, and suddenly, a local dealership has three of them! They’re all used but made within the last couple of years, with mileage varying from 14,000 to 60,000. We go through the nonsense of testing them all and choosing one. The one we decide to buy has 40,000 miles on it and is three years old. The only problem is that the initial asking price is at or above how much it’d cost if I bought a brand new one, made this year as a custom order, from the factory. Time for negotiations.

Salesman: “So, what’ll it take to get you in this car?”

Me: “I want it, but the price is way too high. I could buy a new one online for that much.”

Salesman: “Oh, but that’s because it’s the [Model] S edition, not the [Model] X edition. The [Model] S is… [blah, blah, blah, blah].”

Me: *Pauses* “No, that’s not what I meant. This [Model] S from [three years ago] with 40,000 miles on it costs as much as a [Model] S from this year with zero miles on it. I’ll buy it if you can sell it for a fair price. Somewhere around [75% of their asking price] is much closer to the [Industry Standard Website] suggested price.”

Salesman: “Oh, you can’t trust [Industry Standard Website].”

Me: “Again, though, I could just leave and buy a brand new one for your asking price.”

Salesman: “The price is non-negotiable.”

Me: “C’mon, you know that price is nonsense for a used car. Why can’t you negotiate?” 

Salesman: “I don’t set the prices.”

The salesman suddenly makes an excuse to leave and sends in his colleague.

Colleague: “Hi there. I hear you want [vehicle]. We can get you monthly cost of—”

Me: “I don’t care about the monthly. I care about the overall cost. Are you able to negotiate the price?”

Colleague: “The prices are firm but let me get [Other Employee] in here to see about financing options—”

Me: “Are we seriously gonna do the salesman hokey pokey, where you and a couple of others jump in and out of the room to try to exhaust and confuse me into agreeing to a bad deal? I’m not here to play children’s games. I want you to sell me a vehicle that I’m ready and willing to buy, right now. How is that so hard to sell under this circumstance that you need to get three separate men and—” *checks my phone* “—two hours to negotiate? Does it take this many men to change a lightbulb around here, too?”

The colleague stutters for a second before regaining his composure.

Colleague: “Well, uh… Let me get [Salesman] back so you can talk about finances with him.”

Me: “No, thanks. I’ll just buy a brand new one online, customized how I want it to, for that same amount. Bye!”

I left the office, followed closely by [Colleague]. [Salesman] looked mad at [Colleague] but didn’t say anything about it in my presence. [Salesman] called me once a day for the next three days but I brushed him off each time. On the fourth day, he sent me an email with prices a few thousand dollars less than the non-negotiable price, begging me to come back and make a deal with them. I simply replied asking how he had the authority to change the prices now after he was so sure he couldn’t change prices before. He didn’t reply.