I work at a restaurant/bar. An electrical circuit breaks, so our cash register, fridges, lamps, and stereo stop working. We have about ten minutes left until we are going to call our last round anyway, so we tell everyone the situation.

Me: “We’re trying to get the cash register to work as soon as possible so that you can pay.”

While we fix it, three men walk up to the bar.

Me: “Hi. I’m sorry, but we have closed the bar because we are closing soon.”

I personally told them that we had closed the bar just ten minutes ago.

Customer #1: *Ignoring me completely* “Well, I would like a Carlsberg.”

Customer #2: “How long are you open?”

I’m looking at them and can’t understand what they actually said.

Me: “Oh, maybe you didn’t hear me… We just closed the bar.”

Customer #2: “But you can still order… can’t you?”

Me: “No, we are closed. We are not selling anymore.”

Customer #2: “Oh… I understand… bye.”

It was so weird because it felt like talking to a wall.

Related:
Not So Closed Minded, Part 32
Not So Closed Minded, Part 31
Not So Closed Minded, Part 30
Not So Closed Minded, Part 29
Not So Closed Minded, Part 28

A friend of ours is cycling to my house to meet my brother and me. [Friend] always makes this huge thing about how quick his journeys on his bicycle are and how he always improves. Every. Single. Time. This friend also never, ever, admits to ever being in the wrong about anything. 

It’s 7:30 at night, the local roads are very quiet, and [Friend] arrives in a real temper muttering about “kids and their bloody phones”. He’s in his fifties.

Me: “What’s the matter?”

Friend: “I was riding along and this bloody kid, staring at his phone, just wandered in front of me. Bloody idiot!”

Me: “Oh, no. Did you hit him?”

Friend: “No. I had to swerve around him. I wasn’t even going that fast.”

My brother and I roll our eyes at each other.

Friend: “But he never even looked up, just randomly walking all over the place.”

Brother: *Horrified* “He was walking on the road?”

Friend: “No, he was on the pavement.”

Me: “And he walked out in front of you?”

Friend: “No. He was on the pavement.”

Brother: “You were riding on the pavement?”

Friend: “Yeah, and he was walking along, head in his phone, and he never looked up! I had to swerve onto the road! I was lucky nothing was coming!”

Brother: “You can’t ride on the pavement.”

Friend: “Yes, you can! Nothing wrong with that.”

Brother: “Yes, there is. It’s illegal.”

Friend: “No, it’s not! Anyone can ride on the pavement! Perfectly legal!”

Brother: “Noooo, it’s definitely not.”

[Friend] responds in a “you-can’t-argue-with-this” manner:

Friend: “YES. IT. IS. PERFECTLY LEGAL!”

As my brother attempts to explain how wrong he is, meeting with flat denials, I Google the Highway Code and present him with the actual legislation: “The Highways Act of 1835 prohibits cycling on a footpath which is by the side of a road and set apart for use by pedestrians only.”

Friend: “No! It’s not illegal! That’s wrong!”

Brother: “That’s the Highway Code. It is the law.”

Friend: “NO, it’s NOT! There are cycle paths!”

Brother: “Yeah, but that’s not a cycle path. It’s a pavement.”

Friend: “Doesn’t matter. It’s legal.”

Me: “So, this lad was walking on the pavement, at night, looking at his phone, and you came hurtling along, out of the darkness, on your bicycle, which he wouldn’t be able to hear, and you could see him but waited until the last second to dramatically swerve onto the road, and he’s in the wrong?”

Friend: “Yes!”

Then, he triumphantly adds:

Friend: “And… I had my flashing lights on!”

Me: “Which he’ll obviously hear…”

Brother: “So, basically, the Highway Code is that everybody has to get out of your way, whether they can see you or not, no matter what you’re doing or where you’re doing it?”

Friend: *Smugly* “It’s legal. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.”

It was insanely illogical, but he was completely serious. I’d love to see him argue this if — or rather when with this kind of attitude — he gets stopped by the police.

A customer comes into our music, DVD, and game store.

Customer: “Do you sell BBQs?”

Me: “No… sir. We sell music, films, and games. Only.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I need to BBQ something urgently!”

He looks around one more time as if I lied to him, and then he leaves begrudgingly.

Coworker: “Looking for a BBQ in a music store on its own is somewhat stupid. It being December and snowing outside is really pushing that man into full idiot.”

I am a community pharmacist in the UK for a chain. As most people will be aware, the UK has certain rules and regulations, especially when it comes to controlled drugs.

An American tourist comes into my shop one day, goes up to the cashier, and asks to speak with the pharmacist. He’s directed to me.

Tourist: “Do you have [controlled drug] in stock?”

Me: *Politely* “I’m sorry, but I can’t give you that without a valid prescription.”

Tourist: “Why not? It’s not a controlled drug.”

Me: “Well, it is over here.”

Tourist: “Listen, I’m a practicing doctor. I’ve been in this job for thirty years. So, would you please go into the back and get me what I came for?”

Me: “Look, I understand you may be a doctor in your own country, but I still can’t give you [drug] without a valid prescription.”

The guy stamps his foot and grunts. He then proceeds to pull out a prescription pad from his backpack and starts writing. Yes, this is no joke. This guy actually brings his prescription pad from his surgery on holiday with him. I honestly find it hard not to laugh. He slaps the prescription down on the counter.

Tourist: “There. That’s the prescription, I’m the prescribing doctor.”

He then proceeds to pull out his licence. I take one look at it and tell him:

Me: “This has no standing here. That is a prescription from a clinic in America. You will need a valid one from a general practitioner in the UK.”

Tourist: “Oh, for God’s sake, this is ridiculous. I’m a doctor. You can see that.”

Me: “You may be a doctor. I’m not denying that. I’m just telling you that I cannot accept this prescription legally.”

Tourist: “Why are you doing this?”

Me: “Because I could lose my job for prescribing a controlled drug without a valid prescription. If you can get a valid prescription from a GP over here, I’d be—”

Tourist: “What’s your name?”

I give him my name.

Tourist: “Right. You listen to me. You prescribe me the medication, or I will ensure that you lose your job.”

Again, I try not to laugh.

Me: “Sir, you can complain to the GPC [General Pharmaceutical Council] about me all you like. I’ll even give you the number of my company’s head office. But they will tell you the exact same thing I have repeatedly told you. You need a valid prescription from a UK GP. I am not prepared to break the law.”

He took a business card for our head office and storms out. Later that week, the other pharmacy in town told me that the man also went into their shop that same day and handed over his prescription, and he was also refused, making similar threats.

I’m an e-commerce specialist working to analyse and optimise business accounts for marketplace sellers. It still surprises me how often clients assume their opinions are more valuable than my twenty years of hands-on experience.

Recently, I quoted to increase sales on an account. 

Me: “The two most important elements are firstly optimising the listings by improving the titles and removing the unnecessary and confusing subtitles, and then secondly, using marketing options to advertise the account.”

Client: “No, I think the titles are fine, and I want to keep the subtitles. And I can’t afford to spend any money on marketing.”

Me: “Well, as I showed you, your fees just for the subtitles were $2,200 last month for $16,000 sales, and they had no impact. That money could be used instead for marketing, which would have a major impact.”

Client: “No, I don’t want to do that. I’m happy to pay for the subtitles. Just let me know what else you can do to increase sales.”

Me: “…”