Out Of Stock, Out Of Mind

, , , , , , | | Working | May 24, 2018

(My family is vacationing in the Ozarks, and we drive past a music store. My brother asks my dad to stop, as he is in the market for a new pedal for one of his guitars. There is only one man working there when we walk in. My brother asks him if he has a certain pedal in stock, or at least one that can do the effect he is looking for.)

Man: “Hmm. I’m not sure. I’ve never heard of anything like that. Hang on one second.”

(The owner walks around the desk, picks up the phone, and makes a call. I assume he is calling his boss or their guitar part supplier. NOPE! He orders a pizza! After his food has been ordered, he walks away and starts straightening up. My family just stands there, looking perplexed. After a few seconds, he notices my family is still there and looks surprised.)

Man: “Oh, did you need something else?”

Brother: “Apparently not.”

This Employee Has A Hex(Core) On You

, , , , , | Working | April 12, 2018

(The guitar tech at the locally-owned music store my friends and I frequent has a reputation for being very reliable and knowledgeable, but also snobbish. He has a tendency to make you feel silly for not knowing what he knows about guitar. I generally try to avoid him for routine stuff. I swing into the store to buy some strings, which are in racks behind the counter.)

Employee: “What brand and gauge can I grab for you?”

Me: “Well, first, I’m actually wanting a specific kind, and I know they’re not the normal kind. I just read about them… hex core?”

Employee: *looks over rack* “Hmm. I’m not seeing any that say they’re hex core. Give me a second to run into the next room and I’ll ask [Guitar Guy].”

Me: *shoulders slump; I didn’t make it*

Employee: *coming back* “[Guitar Guy] says all strings are hex core unless they’re labeled round core.”

(I realize my error in that I’d swapped hex and round core strings. I bought some round core and left. Later I ran into one of my friends who knows about that store and I told him what happened.)

Friend: “Man, he wasn’t even in the same room and he still got you! Amazing!”

The Return Policy Has You Covered

, , , | Right | March 31, 2018

(I am a customer shopping at a music store that sells previously-owned CDs, vinyl records, etc. I observe the following situation at the counter. A woman in her late 50s or early 60s comes up to the register and throws a CD of a well-known folk rock singer on the counter. The album cover art is a drawing of two cute kids in a sort of 1960s style. Despite the picture, the songs in the album have some R-rated language, and even those that don’t sometimes have quite harsh and heart-breaking lyrics.)

Customer: “I want to return this and get my money back.”

Sales Clerk: “All our sales are final, ma’am, unless the CD is still in its packaging. We can accept it as a resale, though.”

Customer: “No, I want my money back. This is filth! I bought it for my grandson to listen to, and it is full of f-words! It’s completely inappropriate for young children!”

Sales Clerk: “Well, ma’am, this is an album by [Artist]. His music was never intended for young children.”

Customer: “There is a picture from a children’s book on the cover! You deliberately dupe your customers by putting filthy songs into envelopes from children’s music.”

Sales Clerk: “I assure you, ma’am, we have no control over the album cover art, or the lyrics. We just sell music. We don’t produce it.”

Another Customer: *browsing nearby* “Ever heard of not judging a book by its cover? The same goes for music and album covers. Who the hell buys [Artist] for a little kid?”

(The grandma customer ended up agreeing to a resale, and I ended up buying the CD for myself. This was one of the albums I was looking for, and they didn’t have any other copies.)

They’re Trumpeting The Wrong Noise

, , , , | Right | March 16, 2018

Customer: “Do you guys buy instruments?”

Me: “Yes, what do you have?”

Customer: “A trumpet; it’s out in the car.”

Me: “Okay, bring it in and we’ll see what we can do.”

(The customer leaves and comes back in with a band instrument case.)

Me: “Let’s have a look.”

(I open the case and pause for a moment.)

Me: “Hey, can you come take a look at this saxophone?”

No Black Friday Is Music To My Ears

, , , | Right | December 14, 2017

(I live above a music store, which my landlady owns. It’s Black Friday, and I’m downstairs to give her my rent check. It’s around 11:00 am and the store ALWAYS opens at 10:00. A woman comes storming in and gets into my landlady’s face as much as she can, leaning over the counter.)


Landlady: *blinks, the woman taking her by surprise* “I don’t participate in Black Friday, ma’am. This is a music and instrument store.”

Customer: “I know it’s an instrument store! I was expecting to get one of those violins for $50!”

Landlady: “Ma’am, those violins are over $500. I would never sell them for so little. I’ve never posted any signs that I’d be open early, nor have I ever in the 30 years I’ve owned this store. Now, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

(The woman continues to argue, even trying to pull the “this is illegal!” card. Since the shop is located downtown, we’re only two blocks away from the police station. I cut in to her ranting.)

Me: “Lady, the police station is right over there. Should we just call them over to settle this?”

(She glares at me before stomping out.)

Landlady: *muttering* “Crazy old witch.”

(My landlady is still getting cancer treatments, and I’ll happily defend her against any bully.)

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