Even This Conversation Is Out Of Tune

, , , , , | Right | June 12, 2020

Customer: “I would like to order a pack of Martin Strings in the gauge of 9-46.”

Me: “Great, do you have an item number or SKU number for those strings?”

Customer: “No, I don’t, I just thought you would have that already.”

Me: “Well, sir, we sell thousands of different musical items every single day and it’s hard to keep record of everything. I would be happy to look that up for you, though.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks!”

As I’m pulling up the item on our website, the customer is mumbling something under his breath.

Me: “Okay, sir, I believe I found the set you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Now make sure it comes in the right tuning of EBGDAE, okay?”

Me: “Well, sir, the strings come how they come and it is up to you to tune them correctly.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they don’t come tuned?”

Me: “Sir, you have to put the strings on the guitar before you can tune them.”

Customer: “Well, I believe that is bad customer service. If you expect me to order, then you must make sure they are in the correct tuning.”

Me: “Sir, the strings don’t come in a tuning; the term ‘tuning’ refers to the tension you set the string on the guitar that creates a certain pitch. There is no such thing as strings that come in a standard tuning.”

Customer: “Fine. Then I will order from a different company that will tune them for me, so I can play my guitar without sounding like a [disabled slur].”

Me: “Okay, sir, make sure the next company you order from gets the standard tuning for you on the strings!”

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Unfiltered Story #194957

, , , | Unfiltered | May 27, 2020

I work at a small, local music store as a social media and web content manager, however since we are short-staffed, I tend to double-up as a sales associate. One day as I am working on a project for our website, the phone rings.

Me: (Store), this is (My Name), how can I help you?
Customer: Yes hello, what do you have in the way of acoustic guitars?
Me: *warily glancing over at the wall of literally 100+ acoustic guitars* Uh, well, we are currently carrying (variety of brands).
Customer: Do you still carry (Brand)?
Me: No, we currently have (same list of brands). If you want to come stop by and have a look, you could get a better idea of what we carry right now…

He then launches into a variety of questions, some on specific models, some more vague pertaining to guitars as a whole. He asks about outdated models, brands I had never heard of before, and oddly dumb questions that he seemed too experienced to be asking about. I continue to insist he simply visit the store to see our selection, but he insists that I give him all the information he asks for over the phone. This conversation is now going on for close to 15 minutes, when this happens.

Customer: That (model) you mentioned before, can you strum it for me?
Me: *confused* Uh, sir? Over the phone?
Customer: Yes! Just so that I have an idea of the tone.
Me: I don’t know if that would be the best way to demo an instrument. The mic on the phone would never pick up the real tone of the guitar, if you could hear it at all. Again, if you want to demo a guitar, it’s best to stop in and–
Customer: Nothing fancy! Just take it down and strum it a little so I can hear it and know if I like it!
Me: (sighing as I pull down the guitar from the wall, lean close to the sound hole, and strum a few times) …As you can see, it likely didn’t carry–
Customer: Did you strum it? Were you playing chords? I couldn’t hear!

After I finally got the guy off the phone, I told my boss the story, complete with the bit about the strumming…

Boss: I’ve been dealing with that guy for 15 years. If he calls again, tell him you’re busy and hang up. Nobody has time for that.

Can’t String Together What He Wants

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2020

Customer: “Can you show me a rhythm guitar, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, there’s no such thing. Rhythm guitar is the role you play in a band or group, not the type of guitar.”

Customer: “You’re such an idiot. Of course, you can find rhythm guitars! They have four strings instead of six!”

Me: “I think you mean a bass guitar.”

Customer: “No, a bass guitar is what you play with your foot on the drum kit.”

Me: “That’s bass drum, not bass guitar.”

The customer is suddenly blushing as people around him are laughing.

Customer: “Okay, so can I check a rhythm guitar, please?”

Me: “Do you mean a six-string one?”

Customer: “No, that’s a lead guitar; rhythm guitars have four strings!”

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Unfiltered Story #193821

, , | Unfiltered | May 5, 2020

A customer ordered a high-end, boutique amplifier for his guitar. The amp can be purchased as is, or ordered with an optional deluxe padded carry case (which is kind of expensive, but it’s boutique gear). The customer ordered both.

When we ship the amp and case as a package, we unpack the amp, and then put the amp inside the carry bag, and the whole deal inside the amp’s box, so we’re only shipping one package instead of two. A few days later…

Customer: “I’m calling because I’d like to return the carry bag.”
Me: “I’m sorry you had trouble with it. Is there something wrong with the bag? A faulty zipper, or a tear in the fabric or something? We can get you a replacement right away.”
Customer: “No, I just want a refund, because the amp doesn’t fit in it.”
Me: (Pauses) “Wait… the amp doesn’t fit into the custom case that’s made specifically for it?”
Customer: “Nope.”
Me: “So… the bag… that we shipped to you ON your new amp… doesn’t fit… on your new amp?”
Customer: “No, it’s too small.”
Me: “Just to be clear: we shipped the bag ON the amp. And you’re telling me that the bag is too small to fit THE AMP IT WAS ON when you received it?”
Customer: “Yes, and I’d like to return it for a refund.”
Me: (Dumbfounded pause) “Umm, okay. Let me get you a return authorization.”

(At this point, there was clearly no arguing with a demonstrably stupid person. Perhaps he just didn’t like the bag, thought it was overpriced, whatever.)

All Aboard The Inadequate Training Train

, , , , , , | Working | April 8, 2020

I’m in high school and just got hired at a music/movie store. On my first shift, I am wearing the uniform but only doing training. This includes watching videos on one of the small machines customers can use to listen to music. I’m wearing headphones and focusing on the video when a customer approaches me. 

The woman asks for help finding something in the store. I haven’t even gotten to that part of my training yet so I tell her I’m new and in training, and I can’t help her. I go back to my video thinking she’ll find someone else. That’s where I am wrong. 

She does find someone else, but not to help. She immediately seeks out the store manager and complains about me. They come back to find me together and the woman continues yelling about me to my manager in front of me. She goes on about my horrible customer service and how I am just standing there doing nothing, not helping anyone. 

My manager tells the woman she’ll deal with me later, helps her find her CDs, and checks her out. My manager does talk to me later in the back, but it’s to say that I should’ve helped the woman from the beginning.

That’s how I got yelled at and written up on my first day of work… for not knowing something I wasn’t yet taught.

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