Unfiltered Story #87839

, | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

I work as a Lifeguard and was cleaning the cubicles ready for the evening length swim. I had taken all mats out, put cleaner on the floor and had the wet vac out ready. We put a sign out telling customers that we are cleaning and could they please use the other cubicles.

A customer gets out of the pool with her two children and starts to go into one of the cubicles I am cleaning.

Me: Hi, sorry, but I am cleaning these so if you don’t mind could you go to the other cubicles.

Child of customer: But we can get changed in here right?

Me: Um, no. I am cleaning these. You need to go down to the other cubicles.

Mother, looking at me with evils: What! The ones that drip!

Me: Yeah, sorry, but these have cleaning chemicals on the floor and I wouldn’t want your children walking in them.

Mother: just looked at me as if she hated me so I said meekly ‘I have cleaned the one at the end so go in there’.

She went in there and then proceeded to call her husband to tell him what had happened. He came storming in ready to have a go. I think he got there and realised that she was a going a bit overboard. The outcome was that I couldn’t finish cleaning the cubicles so everybody who came in for the evening session had to use the drippy cubicles because of her.

PS Her husband always looks slightly embarrassed when he comes in now.

Unfiltered Story #87838

, | Unfiltered | June 1, 2017

My daughter works in a Joke Shop and there are a few teenagers working there. The shop is in a small coastal town that caters to the tourists but the locals all know each other.

A local man comes in, selects some purchases and puts them on the counter. Quin rings them through:

Customer: Stop!

Quin: Sorry?

Customer: Stop!

Quin and the Manager don’t know why so they stop.

Customer: I want some contact lenses but I will speak to an actual human being!

They chuck him out.

A Friendly Way To Learn

, , , | Friendly Learning | May 31, 2017

(A childhood friend and I are on the same course at the same university. We are in our first year, and I assume everything is going well. I am in a local café when my friend comes in.)

Friend: “I hate this!”

Me: “We can go somewhere else?”

Friend: “No, uni! I hate uni!”

Me: “It isn’t that bad.”

Friend: “I didn’t even want to come!”

Me: “Then why did you?”

Friend: “Because you did.”

(Great. Landing yourself in debt and forcing yourself into higher education, just so you can be with your friend.)

They’re Acting Bitter About The Sweet

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I work for a high quality chocolatier in England. Our products are pricey due to the amount of cocoa we use, which is the most expensive ingredient. The shop is in central London so our clientele don’t tend to notice the prices. I’m at the till when I’m approached by a man who looks like every other client. He has a few reasonably priced items so I scan them through:)

Me: “That will be £35.50, please.”

Customer: “£35! For that!?”

Me: “Yes, sir, is that a problem?”

Customer: “But it’s just chocolate!”

Me: “You’re not wrong, sir, but prices for cocoa are very high and we use more in our products than any other chocolatier.”

Customer: “Surely you have discounts you could give me?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. I can’t discount perfectly good products. You wouldn’t happen to work for the NHS or the police?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “Great! That entitles you to a 20% discount. Can I see your work pass?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t have one… I thought you’d just believe me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t include a discount without a reason.”

Customer: “You can’t reject my sale! This store is so quiet. You need my business.”

Me: “Actually, sir—” *I bring up our sales tracker* “—we’re £200 over our budget today. It’s only quiet because it’s night time. And I’m not rejecting your sale; you’re rejecting our prices. Would you like me to help you find some cheaper alternatives?”

(He just grumbles and pays for his items, storming out past another customer who had been waiting patiently behind him.)

Customer #2: “Some people are just miserable, aren’t they?”

(I total their order up.)

Me: *to next guest* “That’ll be £15.”

Customer #2: *confused* “But the price says £30?”

Me: “I know, but you didn’t ask for a discount so I gave you my 50% off. Have a great day!”

Advocating Alcoholic Desserts

, , , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am buying drinks for Christmas with a friend. I pick up a bottle of Advocaat.)

Friend: “I’ve never had that. What’s it like?”

Me: “Pretty much just tastes like alcoholic custard.”

Customer: *laughing* “That’s brilliant! Does that mean I can put it on my dessert?”

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