(At my office, we recently had an unauthorized person get into a secure area, because somebody held the door open for them. As a result, we’ve been getting a series of emails and training videos about building security, and one thing that has been pounded into us in all of this is that EVERYONE has to scan a badge at a controlled entrance, every time, no exceptions, and if we see somebody follow an employee in without badging through, we need to alert security immediately. A week or two after that, I’m walking up to a secured exterior door after lunch, where a coworker who I do not know is just coming out.)

Coworker: *holds the door open for me, standing directly in front of the card reader*

Me: “Sorry, I need to scan in.”

Coworker: *doesn’t move*

Me: “EXCUSE ME. I need to get to the card reader.”

Coworker: “Huh! Well, I was just trying to be polite!”

Me: “…I know you were…”

(If I’d been an intruder, I could’ve just walked right in without a word!)

(I work as a concierge, so a lot of times the front desk gets the stupid people before I do. It’s almost like a filter, but since I’m just across the lobby (about 20 feet) I can hear stupid guests who should be put away.)

Coworker: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I assist you?”

Guest: “I need another key to my room. When I checked in yesterday they said I would get a master key to all the rooms I have.” *which about four or five different rooms*

Coworker: “Oh, my apologies, ma’am, but we don’t give master keys to rooms.”

Guest: “Whatever. My keys don’t work and I had this problem yesterday.”

Coworker: “My apologies, ma’am.” *hands over new keys*

(The guest walks away. A couple of minutes later the guest comes back, really frustrated.)

Guest: *throws keys on counter* “These keys don’t work either! This is ridiculous! I am spending $3500 here and this is what I’m getting?!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I know this can be frustrating, but what color was it giving you?”

Guest: “Red!”

Coworker: “And is there anybody in the room?”

Guest: “I have my kids in there! They’re sleeping.”

Coworker: “Well, if you have the deadbolt on in that room you’re trying to get into, the keys won’t work. I’ll go up there with you just to see what’s going on.”

Guest: *has realization moment* “No, it’s okay. I’ll go up myself.” *walks away*

(All of us in guest services had an inner smirk, because she most likely had the deadbolt on and tried throwing the “I’m spending my money here!” card, and she didn’t come back to the lobby.)

(My boss owns storage units, which is separate from what our office does, but we accept calls for the storage center when his storage office manager is out. It happens often, so we know the sizes and prices of the units.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Office]. This is [My Name].”

Caller: *mumbling*

Me: “I apologize, I’m not able to hear you.”

Caller: *loud sigh and more mumbling*

Me: “I still can’t hear you. Please speak up.”

Caller: “STORAGE UNITS!”

Me: “Okay. The only units available right now are 10 x 20, they are [price #1] per month and [price #2] for deposit.”

Caller: “That’s it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s the only available size.”

Caller: “Climate controlled?”

Me: “They aren’t.”

Caller: “How much for the smaller ones?”

Me: “They start at [price #3], but I’ll admit that I’ve never seen any available in the two years that I’ve been here. I can share the other prices with you, but it will be the same. None of them are available, and I don’t see that any will be available in the near future.”

Caller: “That’s not what I was told.” *hangs up*

(Ten minutes later, she calls again.)

Me: “Good morning, [Office]–”

Caller: “STORAGE UNITS!”

Me: “Yes, the office manager isn’t available today. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I talked to her earlier. She said she had a small unit for me for [price way lower than I quoted].”

Me: “Oh? Who was this you spoke to?”

Caller: “[Random Name] person told me this.”

Me: “Are you sure you’re calling the right place?”

Caller: “YES! I’m calling [Storage], right?”

Me: “Yes, but you talked with me earlier, and I distinctly told you that we only have one size available, and that I didn’t see any smaller units being available in the near future.”

(She hangs up, then calls back a few minutes later.)

Me: “Good morning, [Office]—”

Caller: “STORAGE UNITS!”

Me: “It’s still me, and we only have the 10×20.”

Caller: “F***!” *hangs up*

(I’m volunteering at a clinic, currently working in administration. I handle calls and schedule appointments. It has been raining throughout the whole month, so there are puddles outside. An elderly couple around their 70s come out from their appointment.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Let me move the car so you won’t walk in a puddle.”

Wife: “No, it’s all right. Just unlock the door.”

Husband: “Fine. If you fall, it’s not my fault.”

Wife: “Don’t worry; I can swim.” *walks out the door*

(I work at a chain pet store, in the pet care section. Policy states that we can deny the sale of any pet if we believe that it will not be going to a good home. As a company, we also do not sell live feeders, except for crickets, goldfish, and minnows. We do sell frozen feeder mice, but if customers come in asking about live mice for snakes, we direct them to reptile stores in the area that sell live ones. Two customers come up to me. Only one does any talking.)

Customer: “I want to buy a mouse.”

Me: “Are you looking for a pet or a feeder?”

Customer: “Oh, just a feeder.”

Me: “Okay, we have them right over here in the freezer.”

(I start to lead them over to it.)

Customer: “You don’t have live ones?”

Me: “No, as a company, [Pet Store] doesn’t sell live feeder mice.”

Customer: “Then, what do you feed your snakes?”

Me: “Frozen mice, thawed out.”

Customer: “But we want a live one.”

(At this point, a coworker walks by, having only heard the last couple sentences, and she chimes in, repeating that we don’t sell live feeders.)

Me: *remembering something* “Actually, we don’t have any mice right now, anyway. Just hamsters and guinea pigs.”

Customer: “Okay, we’ll take a hamster, then.”

Me: *suspicious at the switch* “What are you getting it for?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s for a prank.”

Me: “I can’t sell you a pet for a prank.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m paying for it, aren’t I?”

Me: “No, because we won’t sell it. We sell pets, not pranks.”

Customer: “Fine then. I’m buying it for me, for a pet.”

Me: “But you just said you were buying it for a prank. I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that.”

(She glanced at her friend, huffed, and stormed out of the store. The friend followed. My coworker and I stared at each other for a moment, sighed, and got off of the sales floor to decompress. I wish I could say this was the weirdest or worst encounter with someone wanting to buy pets. Just a few weeks before, there was a person who wanted to buy a rat for “religious purposes.” She refused to elaborate, and she was refused the rat, too.)