We’ve Run Out Of Prankster Rodentia

(I work at a chain pet store, in the pet care section. Policy states that we can deny the sale of any pet if we believe that it will not be going to a good home. As a company, we also do not sell live feeders, except for crickets, goldfish, and minnows. We do sell frozen feeder mice, but if customers come in asking about live mice for snakes, we direct them to reptile stores in the area that sell live ones. Two customers come up to me. Only one does any talking.)

Customer: “I want to buy a mouse.”

Me: “Are you looking for a pet or a feeder?”

Customer: “Oh, just a feeder.”

Me: “Okay, we have them right over here in the freezer.”

(I start to lead them over to it.)

Customer: “You don’t have live ones?”

Me: “No, as a company, [Pet Store] doesn’t sell live feeder mice.”

Customer: “Then, what do you feed your snakes?”

Me: “Frozen mice, thawed out.”

Customer: “But we want a live one.”

(At this point, a coworker walks by, having only heard the last couple sentences, and she chimes in, repeating that we don’t sell live feeders.)

Me: *remembering something* “Actually, we don’t have any mice right now, anyway. Just hamsters and guinea pigs.”

Customer: “Okay, we’ll take a hamster, then.”

Me: *suspicious at the switch* “What are you getting it for?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s for a prank.”

Me: “I can’t sell you a pet for a prank.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m paying for it, aren’t I?”

Me: “No, because we won’t sell it. We sell pets, not pranks.”

Customer: “Fine then. I’m buying it for me, for a pet.”

Me: “But you just said you were buying it for a prank. I can’t pretend I didn’t hear that.”

(She glanced at her friend, huffed, and stormed out of the store. The friend followed. My coworker and I stared at each other for a moment, sighed, and got off of the sales floor to decompress. I wish I could say this was the weirdest or worst encounter with someone wanting to buy pets. Just a few weeks before, there was a person who wanted to buy a rat for “religious purposes.” She refused to elaborate, and she was refused the rat, too.)