Banded Together To Get Their Answers

, , , , | Learning | June 2, 2017

(Due to a scheduling mishap, a required math class conflicts with several other classes. The math class is split into two sections and I am assigned to TA the new section.)

Professor: *reading off a test* “—so we can see on question four, I asked you to describe what’s wrong with the analysis—”

(A student raises her hand.)

Professor: “—in which we have three populations of mice, and we’re trying to see how much they weigh—”

(The student starts wave her hand.)

Professor: “—but half our mice are—”

Me: “Uh, professor, you have a question.”

Professor: “Oh! Sorry, sorry. In the future, if I don’t see you, don’t be afraid to call out and let me know!”

(He answers her question and goes on.)

Professor: “—but it seems like most of you missed part two—”

Student #2: *hand raised* “Professor…”

Professor: “—but I think that’s because the wording wasn’t clear in—”

Student #2: “Professor!”

Me: “You’ve got another question.”

Professor: “Ah! Sorry. I’m half-deaf; you may have to make some noise. Yell. Blow a whistle. Don’t be shy!”

(The next class, the TA’s can all tell that something’s off. The students are fidgeting and far too focused for a math lecture. But they’re paying attention, so we don’t complain.)

Professor: “—but of course this won’t work if they’re all the same height. Now if we have two populations.”

(A student raises his hand.)

Teacher’s Assistant #2: “Oh, s***.”

Student: *quietly* “Professor?”

Me: “What?”

Teacher’s Assistant #2: “One of the classes that conflicted with the old lecture time was band practice.”

Professor: *still oblivious* “If the populations are—”

(At this point, “When the Saints Come Marching In” roars out of the back of the classroom as half the marching band stands up. The professor happily waves his pen to conduct them and claps when they’re done. However, he did institute a rule that future questions cannot be preceded by more than three instruments or more than one second of music.)

Will Show You Where To Put That Needle

, , , , | Learning | June 1, 2017

(I am blind and am going to a non-special education school for the first time. I have a seeing eye dog, as well as technology, like being able to use the eye-sight help apps on my phone during the school day. I am also exempt from the sewing class, and instead work on homework during the two weeks we have it. Some variation of this happens everyday, as the school can’t keep a teacher’s assistant.)

Teacher’s Assistant: “Why isn’t she sewing? She should be sewing!”

Teacher: “She’s [My Name]? Surely you remember having to go through training again?”

Teacher’s Assistant: “Oh, she’s that one? I still think she should be sewing!”

Teacher: “SHE CAN’T SEW!”

Teacher’s Assistant: “I’ll get her a needle!”

(It’s a wonder I survived that year.)

Not Always Romantic 101

, , , | Learning Romantic | May 31, 2017

(I hear a male teacher giving dating advice to a male student.)

Teacher: “Let me give you some advice, [Student]. When they’re crying like that, you don’t call them stubborn!”

Hope You Don’t Get Him Next Period

, , , | Learning | May 30, 2017

(It’s the beginning of the year and we’re in our first maths lesson when a girl asks to be excused. The teacher allows it but goes completely insane when he realises she’s taking her bag with her.)

Teacher: “SIT BACK DOWN!”

Girl: “But, please. I need to go!”

Teacher: “I do not tolerate lying. SIT BACK DOWN!”

Other Girl: “But, sir. She really needs to go! She’s—”

Teacher: “SIT BACK DOWN!”

(Everyone stared at the girl as she sat back down, embarrassed and clearly in pain. For the rest of the lesson she squirmed in silence, with the teacher glaring at her every other minute, ensuring she was completely subdued. It was extremely uncomfortable to watch. The second the bell rang she bolted, ignoring the teacher’s screams and attempts to follow. When he came back into the classroom, the girl who protested before stood up and pointed at the girl’s seat. I couldn’t see it, but the teacher went pale and excused everyone. He went on leave shortly after and hasn’t taught us since, much to the class’ and the girl’s relief.)

Sub-Substitute

, , | NC, USA | Learning | May 23, 2017

One day, while in fifth grade, we have a substitute teacher. She gets through most of the morning okay, although she misspells at least one word every time she copies our teacher’s instructions onto the whiteboard. But then lunchtime rolls around.

At our school, there are multiple half-hour lunch periods, staggered at 15-minute intervals, and each class is assigned three lunches. Our class has the 12 pm, 12:15, and 12:30 lunch times, which we get to pick at the beginning of each day, and the rest of the 12-1 lunch block we can get out games and crafts and socialize.

Our substitute teacher doesn’t believe us about lunch. She tries to make all of us go at once, which would make the hall monitors and cafeteria workers angry. We try explaining it to her, and  show her the popsicle sticks with names and how they fit into slots on the lunch board on the wall, but she just grows more and more unreasonable.

Finally, she tells one side of the classroom to go to lunch, my side of the room to read silently, and tells anyone who objects to shut up. We cautiously pull out books from our desks and the bookshelves, while the substitute sits down at the teacher’s desk and glares at her written instructions. After only a minute, she lets out a frustrated “UGH!”, gets up, and leaves the classroom without a word.

When she doesn’t return a few minutes later, our half of the class decides that the best thing is to tell the principal what is going on. All fifteen of us walk together into the front office, much to the surprise of the school’s secretary, and explain what has happened.

Turned out, our substitute teacher had left the school, gotten into her car, and driven away without a single word to anybody. Our principal called up the school system headquarters and the substitute was blacklisted from ever teaching in the county again. We were told that we weren’t in any trouble, and one of the guidance counselors acted as our teacher for the remaining three hours of school.

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