Unfiltered Story #113072

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 29, 2018

I was running the self check out lanes and l notice a woman having trouble entering in produce.

Customer: I can’t find jalapenos in the search page. This system never works right.

I looked at watch she typed in..

Me: ma’am, jalapeno starts with a J

No Longer A Family-Friendly Store

, , , , , | | Right | May 24, 2018

(It’s 9:00 pm, which is our closing time. Our store has two entrances: one main one in the front, and one on the side that leads easily back to the main pathway of the mall. When we close, we close the front entrance so customers can finish up and exit on our side entrance. I just finished ringing up a customer.)

Me: “Have a good night, ma’am. Just to let you know, our front entrance is closed, but you can exit through our side doors.”

(The customer gives me a terrified look as if I just told her I have taken her family hostage.)

Customer: *puts her hand on her heart* “You mean I can’t go out and be with my family?!” *shakes her head looking very worried* “Oh, that’s not good… That’s not good at all.”

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am. That entrance leads right back to the mall; just go left and you will see where you first came in.”

Customer: *cheery* “Oh! Okay!”

Unfiltered Story #110930

, , , | | Unfiltered | May 18, 2018

(I check in a guy, and within five minutes of him being in the room he calls the front desk.)

Me: “Front desk this is—”

Guest: “There is no television.”

Me: “There is no TV, sir?

Guest: “No.”

Me: “Would you like me to move you to another room?”

Guest: “Well, I’m already here. The TV is black.”

Me: “So there is a TV?”

Guest: “Yes… it’s just black.”

Me: “Let me help you with that.”

Guest: (hang up after being help.)

Me: ummm okay.

Mapping It Out For Them

, , , , | Working | March 15, 2018

(I go to a copy and business supply store to have a large map laminated. The map measures 24 inches by 36 inches. Upon learning these dimensions, the clerk tells me:)

Clerk: “I’m sorry. Our widest lamination machine is only 26 inches wide. We can’t help you.”

(I wait a few moments for him to connect the dots, then reply:)

Me: “Well… Can’t you just turn the map sideways and pass the now-24-inch wide map through the machine?”

Clerk: *after a confused moment or two* “Sure! No problem!”

Valentine’s Pay

, , , , , , , , | Romantic | February 12, 2018

Several years ago, a friend and his wife invited my wife and me to dinner at a very nice local restaurant. The two of them had visited the restaurant several times previously, and they were pleased with both the food and the price. This time, the reservations happened to be on Valentine’s Day.

We arrived at the restaurant in good time. We were a bit surprised that there were more empty tables than we expected. We were seated, and read the menus. The offerings were their standard meals, but the menu itself had, “Valentine’s Day Specials,” printed on it. The prices were four times the usual amount, too! We asked the waiter why the prices were higher than usual, and he said something like, “Well, it is Valentine’s Day, and you should be giving your ladies something special!”

We decided not to pay the highly-inflated prices, and got up to leave. A customer at an adjoining table looked at us, then spoke up and said, “I wish I had done that, too!”

Page 5/7First...34567