Sale Gone Stale

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I work at a popular candle and fragrance store. I am helping a customer and her daughter with their products. Everything is going fine, and the mother is really polite, until it comes to checking out.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have any coupons?”

Me: “You can always check your email or [Specific Website]. That’s the only one we accept.”

(We say this because other websites steal our coupons and change the sku for the customer’s transaction to come out as $0. I see that she starts Googling for coupons. She shows me one that I can’t accept.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t take that one. We only accept your email, or [Specific Website].”

(She starts Googling again a few more times, and then gets frustrated at me for not taking other coupons I can’t accept, despite me repeating the only ones we do accept. She throws her bag of products onto the cash-wrap.)

Customer: *angrily* “Then never mind! Just ring my stuff up.”

(I just smile at her and ring all her things. I see that she is getting two large candles, but they’re not the ones for sale. I tell her her total. She looks on the screen to make sure everything is correct. Then she looks up at me.)

Customer: “Why am I paying $22.50 for each candle?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s the smaller candles for sale.”

(She pushes the candle towards me.)

Customer: “Take it off! I don’t want it!”

(I smiled at her and told her I would happily do that for her. Her daughter looked at me, embarrassed, and I just smiled at her. Her mom swiped her card and tried walking away. I told her that she had to answer a few questions. After she was done, she walked away angrily, leaving her receipt, her daughter, and her bag of products. She yelled for her daughter to grab her things as she walked out the door. A few weeks later, she came in again and didn’t make eye contact with me.)

Should Put A Lid On Long Days

, , , | Right | September 7, 2018

(Self-reporting here… I have been helping a family member move. Thanks to bad timing and a trailer tire blowout, I went to bed at 3:30 am after a long hard day. Then I get up again at 9:00 am for another one. We are finally eating lunch around 2:00 pm. I fill a large drink and grab the largest lid on the rack. It doesn’t fit.)

Me: *to employee nearby* “Where are your large lids?”

Employee: “We have them at the counter… Actually, you have one in your hand.”

Me: *shows her that the lid is too small for the cup* “This one doesn’t fit.”

Employee: “In your left hand.”

Me: *looks at other hand, where I am holding the table marker and lid* “… mIt’s been a very long day.”

That’s An Old Joke

, , , , , , | Working | July 20, 2018

(After adding a battery to my customer’s wife’s watch and handing it to him…)

Me: “I forgot to check what brand your watch is. May I see it again so I can enter it into our system?”

Customer: *handing back the watch* “Sure, but it’s not my watch; it’s my wife’s. She’s been with me over 50 years!”

Me: *looking at watch* “A fossil!”

Customer: “…”

Me: *mortified* “No! The brand of the watch for which I just put in a battery for you. Not your wife!”

Unfiltered Story #116488

, , | Unfiltered | July 16, 2018

(I’m shoulder-deep in a freezer shelf, putting price stickers on items, when someone comes up behind me and starts talking. I can’t hear what they’re saying, so I stop tagging and turn around.)

Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

Customer: (Says something in Spanish, the only word I catch is crema, or cream.)

Me: “Lo siento, no hablo Español.” (Sorry, I don’t speak Spanish.)

Customer: *rolls her eyes* “Crema. Crema!”

Me: “Oh, this way.” (I motion and start leading her to the dairy section, which has milk on one part and other things, including heavy cream, whipping cream, half and half, etc. next to it.) “Which kind do you need?”

Customer: *Suddenly starts speaking English with barely an accent.* “No, you idiot. That’s leche. I needed crema!”

(She walks off, leaving me baffled.)

Leaked Their Scam

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2018

(In early 2012, I’m selling my PT Cruiser as part of getting ready to take a job in Japan. I have had a woman test the car and am getting ready to turn it over to her, but her husband decides to do one last check.)

Husband: “Well, you have an oil leak, so I can’t take it for the asking price. I will pay you [less than half what I am asking].”

Me: *knowing that my car consumes barely any oil at all, much less enough to account for a leak* “Where’s this leak?”

Husband: “Right there, see? And there.” *points out a couple of wet spots on the parking lot under my car*

Me: *now uncertain* “Well, my garage never mentioned an oil leak; let me have it checked out again and I’ll get back to you.”

Husband: “They’re just going to say what you want to hear. Take my offer or leave it.”

Me: “Okay, bye.”

(He gives a surprised expression and I leave. I am living with my parents in the lead-up to leaving and my father has this to say.)

Father: “I know for a fact you don’t have a leak. If you did, we’d have oil stains in the driveway.”

(I eventually sold it to a national used car chain for slightly less than my asking, because the only thing wrong with it was cosmetic damage. It was in better shape than most Cruisers its age.)

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