Sub-Standard Behavior

, , , , , | Right | April 8, 2019

(After work I always head to the same sandwich shop. In this sub shop, to save time, they will charge you while your sub is toasting. When I walk in, I see a young man in our uniform accosting the workers at the sub shop.)

Uniformed Teen: “G**d***, you people are so slow! I know we’re down the road from [Nearby University], but that doesn’t give you an excuse to show up high at work or be lazy little s***s at work!”

Worker: “As I told you, sir, the toaster takes a few minutes, and I’m otherwise going as fast as I can.” *starts adding his requested vegetables and toppings*

Uniformed Teen: “Well, that’s not very fast, then. What’re you, slow? Do you even know what I’m saying, b****?”

(My initial shock at seeing a fellow employee treat someone this way wears off and I speak up.)

Me: “So, you work over at [Our Shared Workplace?]”

Uniformed Teen: “Yeah? So? The f*** does it mean to yo—“

(He has now turned around and fully looked me over. I’m wearing my supervisor uniform, sans nametag which I have taken off.)

Uniformed Teen: “Oh, s***!” *runs off before I can get his name*

Worker: “Holy s***! That was hilarious! Hey, he already paid for his sub, chips, and drink. Do you want them?”

(I initially declined, but the worker insisted. I bought my full meal and brought the extra chips and drink to my roommate!)

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Won’t Give It A Rest(room)

, , , , , | Right | March 6, 2019

(My store only has one set of restrooms, near the checkouts, but there are several stalls so there’s usually not a wait even if one stall is out of order or dirty. I’m working near the back of the store when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Where’s your restroom?”

Me: “Up front, near the registers.”

Customer: “No, no, your restroom. Where’s the one you use?”

Me: “I use that one.”

Customer:No! Where. Is. The. Restroom.You. Use? When you don’t want to use that one? That one’s dirty!”

Me: “That’s the only restroom in the store. I can’t step away from my project right now, but if it’s dirty I can call a coworker to clean it.”

Customer: “No! It’ll still be dirty. I won’t use some filthy public restroom. I know you have an employee restroom in the back room; let me use that one!”

Me: “Um… No, there is no separate employee restroom. There is only that restroom up front. I use that one. The employees all use that one.”

Customer: “You’re lying! I know there’s one back there!”

(They ran off after that, I guess to find a non-filthy, non-public restroom. I’ve heard of customers thinking there’s infinite stock in “the back,” but this is the first I’ve heard of it also containing a sparkling clean restroom for customers who want it hard enough.)

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I Won’t Stutter When I Tell You To Get Out

, , , , , | Right | February 14, 2019

(I work at a big box store, and one of my coworkers has a pretty severe stutter.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Can you tell me if you carry [Item]?”

Me: “I’m not sure, sorry… Let me ask.” *calls out over the walkie*

Coworker: “They’re, l-l-located along the w-w-wall.”

Customer: *in a suddenly nasty tone* “Well, I already looked along the wall. Is the wuh-wuh-wall something different?”

(I was shocked, but the only thing I could do was tell her, “Then we’re sold out.” Our managers won’t let us refuse service.)

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Not Thinking Three-ly

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I have worked in customer service for approximately five years, but this is my first year working fast food, and I have gotten quite a large number of customers who seem to lack basic intelligence, or at least simple math skills. Note: this happens AT LEAST three times a day. Every. Day.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [BBQ Store]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi. I’d like the [three-side meat plate] with brisket. How many sides do I get with that?”

Me: “You get three sides.”

Customer: “Three?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: *thinks for a minute* “All right I want [side #1] and [side #2].”

Me: “You get one more side.”

Customer: “I get another side?”

(I attempt to not roll my eyes. I assure the customer that, yes, you get three sides, and no, two sides do not equal three. Thankfully, it has happened enough times to where I can see the humor in it, and I tend to mime banging my head against the brick counter, much to the amusement of my coworkers.)

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The Cat Sat On The Bat

, , , , , , | Working | January 7, 2019

(I work in a call center environment. We sit in cubes and I can hear everything around me, much to my coworkers’ dismay; I can catch them saying some pretty funny things, either to themselves or to clients. My coworker is trying to phonetically spell something over the phone to a client.)

Coworker: “That is C, like ‘cat,’ A, like ‘apple,’ N, like ‘knife’…”

Me: “That’s not how this works.”

Coworker: “Shut up with your bat hearing.”

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