(I am browsing the Internet, looking to buy some merchandise for a musical group I like. The group in question is from another country, which can cause some issues with buying items —  the shipping can take longer and some things can be more expensive — but it’s worth the wait. I am looking into a company that sells the merchandise I’m looking for, and to my happiness, there’s a sale on a package that includes multiple items and posters. It’s still a bit expensive, but I decide to treat myself since it’s a really good deal compared to other sites I’ve seen. I check out the company a bit more and the reviews reflect good service, so I finalize my order and pay. I do this knowing that it will take some time to ship, but I don’t mind waiting. It is September when I place my order. Fast forward to October; I haven’t received any notification from the company other than the initial “We’ve received your order” email. I decide to contact their chat line to hopefully get an update.)

Me: *in the chat* “Hi! I was wondering if I could get an update on my order?” *gives order information* “I placed the order in September and I understand there will be a wait, but I was hoping it would ship soon.”

(I don’t get a reply until a few hours later.)

Chat: “We have your order. Due to the high demand for this particular item, it may take a little longer to ship, but it should still ship soon. We will send an email when it ships.”

(I am happy with this, and I thank them and close the chat. I don’t think about it for a little while until it’s almost November. Around this time I hear that there has been a postal strike in my province, which will undoubtedly cause issues with upcoming Christmas shopping. I am unaware if the strike has been happening longer than I’ve known about it, so I think that could be the reason my order hasn’t shipped. I feel bad now and figure that it will take longer to get here, so I wait until late November for an email. When I still don’t get anything, I decide to contact them through their direct email.)

Me: “Hi there! I was wondering if I could ask about the status of my order.” *gives information* “I talked to someone in your chat line in October and was told it would ship soon, but I haven’t received any emails yet. I am also aware there is a postal strike in my province; I understand that it is probably causing you delays and it may take a while to be delivered, but I placed my order in September and thought it would have shipped by now. Please let me know if there are any issues or if there is other information you need. Thank you!”

(I try to be polite as possible and, given the circumstances of the strike, I’m not frustrated or mad at all. I know what it’s like to work retail around the holidays and I don’t want to be a “problem customer” or anything like that. I don’t hear anything back until a few weeks later, now in December. I figure there’s no way my order will arrive any time soon, so I’m starting to get a bit annoyed. They send me an email.)

Email: “The item that you ordered is very popular and is currently on back order. We will ship it as soon as we can. If you are no longer interested in the item, please let us know if you want to cancel your package.”

(This is where I make my final mistake: I decide I still want my order and opt to wait. However, once Christmas has passed, I lose my cool and contact them again.)

Me: *gives order information AGAIN* “It is now after Christmas and I am still waiting for [order] to ship. I completely understand with the holidays and the strike that things will be delayed and I don’t mind waiting while things are sorted out. I placed my order in September, and it is now past Christmas, and the last thing I was told was it would ship ASAP in November. If you can email me and let me know the status of my order, it would be greatly appreciated.”

(Surprisingly, I get a reply a few days later, which is quicker than expected.)

Email: “We are having trouble figuring out the problem with your order. What we can do now is give you a refund or replace your order and get a new one sent out to you. Please let us know what you would like to do.”

(I immediately told them to refund my money, as my patience had run out. I still don’t know what “problem” there was with my order, but now I’m thinking I may have been scammed out of almost $60. I’m still waiting on the refund presently. Talk about a pain in the a**.)

(I work at a small clothing boutique that also sells small gift items. One of our best sellers is key chain pepper spray canisters that are bedazzled. I get many stupid questions about them such as, “Does this actually work?” “Have you tried it before?” “Well, WHY haven’t you tried it?!”.)

Customer: “These little canisters are so cute! I wish they had perfume in it, though.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that would be cool. It’s always smart to carry pepper spray, though!”

Customer: “Yeah, but I wish it was perfume. Do you have any with perfume, instead?”

Me: “Um… no. Unfortunately not.”

Customer: “Well, can I buy an empty canister from you so I can fill it myself?”

Me: “Oh, we don’t make it here. We are sent all of our items already packaged. I don’t have any empty ones.”

Customer: “Ugh, fine. I’ll just empty it at home and refill it with perfume. My daughter loves spraying my perfume, so I can give her this so she has her own! She just loves sparkles!”  

Me: “I strongly advise you not to do that. You shouldn’t mess around with pepper spray canisters. You also don’t want to take the chance of not getting it all out resulting in your daughter hurting herself.”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You need to learn about your products more! I’m buying this for my daughter right now so she can have a matching perfume with me!”

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(My mom told me this story about her experience while trying to buy my Christmas present. She goes to a popular chain sporting goods store ready to buy an expensive pair of rock climbing shoes based on an employee’s recommendation, not knowing much about them herself. She can’t see any employees on the floor, so she walks back to the front desk of the store and asks them to send someone to help her in the rock climbing section. The employee at the front tells her to go back to that section and someone will be there shortly. My mom goes back and, while she is waiting, a man around her age comes to the same area and starts looking at displays. A few minutes later, a male employee comes out of the back room, makes eye contact with my mom, and then immediately turns to the male customer and asks if he needs any assistance. Fuming, my mom returns to the front desk.)

Mom: “Did you call someone to come help me with rock climbing shoes?”

Employee: “Yes, I did.”

Mom: “And did you tell him I was a woman?”

Employee: “Yes, I did.”

Mom: “Well, he looked straight at me and turned to help a man, instead.”

Employee: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ll call him again.”

(My mom returns to the rock climbing section and sees the male employee on the store phone. He finishes his conversation — presumably with the front desk — hangs up, and, without acknowledging my mom standing just a few feet away, continues talking to the male customer. My mom waits several minutes for them to finish without any acknowledgement from the employee. Eventually, she gives up and returns to the front desk for the last time.)

Mom: “Just so you know, I’m going to [Competitor]. The reason is that your employee is still helping a man who came in after me and he didn’t even acknowledge me.”

(The front desk employee was silent, so my mom just left. Hopefully, that employee was reprimanded or at least spoken to about his prejudice losing them a customer. It’s unlikely, but a girl can dream!)

I work in a store in a fairly small town, and I was recently promoted to department manager over the online pickup department. As this happened immediately before the Christmas season, and the department had gone without a direct manager for several months before this, training was sparse and there were few people to explain the management side of things, especially how to handle reports.

While most things worked themselves out and were pretty self-explanatory, the report labeled “To Be Received” was one thing that I couldn’t get much information on. Apparently, the report is for packages that should have arrived in our store already but hadn’t actually shown up. However, none of the old items in the report had cleared out, so several of them were from as far back as June. Eventually, I found out I could pull up detailed tracking history on our internal handheld system, and I decided to check out the order from June.

At first, things looked normal, with the package leaving Indiana and getting scanned a few times in Illinois on its way to Saint Paul, Minnesota. Eventually, it arrived, but instead of going to our store from there, it went to Saint Cloud, a city on the other side of the state, about a three-hour drive west, while the package should have gone almost straight north from Saint Paul. The next few scans were the same day, having the package leave Saint Cloud and return to Saint Paul.

The next leg of the trip was even stranger, with the package then leaving Minnesota and being scanned in at Kansas, and then in Texas, getting scanned a few times there before finally being delivered in a city in Texas.

I still have no idea why a package that got delivered in Texas showed up in our delivery system, or why such a package decided to take the scenic route and go from Indiana to Texas by going through Minnesota.

(At my store, if a customer is placed on hold for sixty seconds, the phone starts ringing back to alert the front end that someone is still on hold. I happen to be walking by and hear the phone ringing back, so I make the colossally stupid decision to pick it up and see if I can assist the customer.)

Me: “I’m so sorry for the wait. Who were you holding for?”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! You people have had me on hold for ten minutes! I need help, and don’t transfer me back to that guy! He doesn’t know what he’s doing! Get me someone who knows what they’re g**d*** doing!”

(First, only women are on the front end today, and second, I can see she has been on hold for a whopping 93 seconds.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll help you personally right now, but there’s no need to swear at me.”

Customer: “I didn’t swear.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Ugh! I ordered some things off a registry last week, and one of them isn’t going to come in time for the shower! I need you to print me 5×7 color photos of the items, and I’ll come by to grab them.”

Me: “I apologize for that, ma’am. I can definitely print you pictures, but our printers only do black and white, and they will only print one size.”

Customer: “What?! When I was there last week, the pictures were in color on the screen!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, the website is in color, but again, our printers only do black and white.”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine! It was a platter and a snow blower.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, could I just have the email address you used to place the order?”

Customer: “What? Why? Why do you need my email?”

Me: “I’m going to pull up the order so I can see exactly which items you ordered.”

Customer: “I just told you! It was a platter and a snow blower!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but we sell a lot of those items online, and I want to make sure I print the right pictures.”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine, it’s [email].” *said super fast, so I have to ask her to repeat it twice, pissing her off even further*

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’m just going to put you on a brief hold so I can step to a computer and print that for you.”

Customer: “Fine. This is taking forever!”

(I put her back on hold and step literally 15 inches away to pull up her order, when I find that the computer is frozen. I pick back up to let her know I haven’t forgotten her and that I just have to run to another computer, of course leading to another bout of b****ing.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I do apologize, but I’m not able to find that email address in our system. I’ll just need your name.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! This is the worst customer service I’ve ever had! I would never recommend anyone shop or register with you!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am—“

Customer: “Stop apologizing! Just look up the order! My name is [Customer]!”

(The email address is misspelled in the system, which isn’t surprising if she said it as quickly and rudely when the order was originally placed as she is now.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ve got those pictures for you, and I’ll have them at the front desk for you when you come in.”

Customer: *sudden change* “Oh, thank you so much! What was your name? Thanks so much!”

(And that’s why I have resolved never to voluntarily pick up the phone anymore.)