Not Very Closed Minded, Part 15

| Australia | Right | April 13, 2016

(I work in a store in a large shopping mall. To lock up at night, tables of sale stock have to be shifted inside the store and large mesh doors have to be dragged across the entire store front and locked with two dead bolts. One night I’m closing the left hand door ten minutes later than usual when a customer rushes up to me out of breath.)

Customer: “Oh, good, you’re still open.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re just closing. Unless you know exactly what you want you’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay; she’s coming. Can you wait just ten seconds?”

(The customer immediately gets out his mobile phone to make a call. It becomes clear pretty quickly that he’s stalling me in order to give someone else extra time to walk to the store.)

Customer: *on phone* “Hello? Yeah, they’re still open; how far away are you?”

Customer: *to me* “Could you wait five minutes?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The store is closing now.”

Customer: *on phone* “Yeah, yeah, hurry up. They’re closing.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t wait. I have to close the store now. I’m sorry. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: *to me, snapping* “I know! I know! Just hold on.”

(The customer then gets distracted by the phone call and steps away from the store entrance. He has his back turned, and is no longer listening to my warnings, so I close and lock the door behind him and walk away to count the registers. A couple of minutes later the front door rattles. I look up and the man I’d been speaking to and a woman — assumedly the one he’d been on the phone to — are standing outside the doors. She has several shopping bags in her hands.)

Customer: “Hello? Oi, are you going to let us in?”

(I ignore the man even as he continues to rattled the door, but he doesn’t give up. Eventually I have to approach the front of the shop.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the shop is closed now. You’ll have to come back another time.”

Customer: “Oi, let me in, though. You’re still there.”

Me: “Sir, as I said when you approached me before, the store is closed now. I’m going to have to ask you to step away from the store front.”

Customer #2: “He said you were still open! It’s only five forty five!”

(We closed at five thirty.)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 14
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12

Enough To Make You Hee-Haw

| Allentown, PA, USA | Related | April 12, 2016

(For Easter, my mom got my sisters and me each two cute little stuffed animals, one of mine being a donkey. My sister related this story to me that takes place when she and my mom were picking mine out.)

Mom: “Oh, and I know we definitely need to get [My Name] the donkey for sure!”

Sister: “Why the donkey?”

Mom: “Don’t you know why?”

Sister: “…Because she’s an a**?”

Mom: “What? No! Because she loves Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh!”

Sister: “Oh. Oh!”

(My sister was relieved to know that my mom didn’t actually think I was an a**.)

Serving The Grinch

| England, UK | Right | April 12, 2016

(I work in a cheap card shop that becomes so busy on Christmas Eve that the queue stretches around two aisles. A customer appears from the other end of the shop, approaches my till and shoves a card at me.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, the end of the queue is over there.”

Customer: *looks* “…and?”

Me: “So, you need to wait at the end of the queue.”

Customer: “I don’t do queues.”

(He looked very proud of himself, as if this was an extremely witty comment.)

Me: “Well, you’re going to have to ‘do queues’ just this once, because I’m not going to serve you when you pushed to the front.”

Customer: “But I only have one thing to pay for.”

Me: “So do the twenty-odd people standing behind you.”

Customer: *glares at me and goes to the end of the queue*

1 Thumbs

Sadly The Laws Of Physics Are Rock Solid

| USA | Right | April 11, 2016

(My company sells materials for landscaping, patios, etc. We just sell the material; we don’t install it.)

Me: *answering phone* “[Business].”

Customer: “Hi, I need to get a small dump truck of river rock delivered to [Address].”

Me: “Absolutely. It will be [amount] and we can get it delivered this afternoon, if that works for you?”

Customer: “Okay. Will he be able to get in the backyard?”

Me: “As long as there are no fences or trees in the way he should be able to, but he’ll have to look at it when he gets there.”

Customer: “My gate is four feet wide. That’s enough, right?”

Me: “No, sir, he usually needs gates to be eight-ten feet wide depending on the area. If that’s the only way to get to your backyard, unfortunately he will have to dump your rock in the front yard.”

Customer: “Okay, well, he’ll just need to wheelbarrow it into the backyard for me, then.”

(Keep in mind, we just sell and deliver. We’re not landscapers, and this customer apparently thinks the driver moving 16,000 pounds of rock with a wheelbarrow is included in his delivery charge. I pause for the laugh at his own joke I expect, but it does not come.)

Me:“No, sir. He will not be able to move anything with a wheelbarrow. We just deliver the material with the truck and get as close as we can to where you want it.”

(The customer then repeatedly demanded to know why we can’t fit the truck into his backyard, despite my explanation that the truck itself is wider than 4 feet. A landscaping company later picked it up for him.)

Seriously Thinks He’s Punny

| PA, USA | Right | April 9, 2016

(I’m a female cashier for a national grocery chain. A male customer comes up.)

Me: “Hey, how’s it going? Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “No, not really. I found everything all left!”

Me: *laughs weakly, continues scanning*

(We finish up, and he wants to pay with EBT. No problem, except that the card reader can’t read his card.)

Me: “Okay, that’s weird. We’ll just enter in the card manually.”

Customer: “We’ll do it WOmanually!”

Me: “…”

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