I Regret Nothing

, , , | Right | September 14, 2017

(I am a computer tech at an electronics retailer. A customer walks up to the counter.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have [tuning equipment for a home theater system]?”

Me: “I would check with audio-video, down in the back.”

Customer: “Oh, I already did, they said you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Then we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Ma’am, if audio-video says we don’t have it, we don’t have it. They’re the ones who would know.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks…” *muttered as she walks away* “…for nothing.”

Unfiltered Story #93701

, , | Unfiltered | September 14, 2017

(It’s roughly the year 2000 and our clothing store doesn’t have the now-common, self-serve card reader setups, nor did we have a “debit” option. Back then, you ran debit cards as credit cards nearly all the time, and at our store it was the only way we could run them. The “run as debit” option was becoming more common, though, and many customers were getting used to expecting it. They’d hand me their card and emphasize that it was “debit,” but since that made no difference in our store at the time, I just carried on with the transaction as normal and never had an issue. Except once.)

(The customer is an imposing 6’2″+, 220 lbs. of muscle, long hair in a pony tail, and carries himself in a way that screams “not to be messed with.” I’m a scrawny, 19-year-old buck fifty)

CUSTOMER: (hands me his card) “It’s debit.”

ME: (Runs card as credit)

(As is with credit transactions, a signature sheet prints and I hand it to him with a pen. He starts to put the pen to the paper and then stops.)

CUSTOMER: “Why am I signing? I said it was debit.”

ME: “Yes sir, I know. We don’t have the option to run as debit here so we run all debit as credit.”

CUSTOMER: “But I told you it was debit. I was very clear about that. Why would you blatantly ignore what I told you?” (His voice is getting louder and I can see his eyes getting red as they gleamed at me)

ME: “Sir, the card works the same if–”

CUSTOMER: “I HAVE THIS CARD SET UP TO REMOVE MONEY FROM MY CHECKING ACCOUNT, NOT TO BE BILLED WITH INTEREST!”

(At this moment I see my general manager coming near, and I breath a sigh of relief. That turns to panic as I see her notice the situation and make a sharp right into a nearby department and starts sorting clothes)

CUSTOMER: “VISA IS GOING TO BILL ME NOW! I NOW HAVE TO WRITE ANOTHER CHECK TO PAY THIS OFF! IT’S WHY I SET IT UP THE WAY I DO, TO AVOID THIS KIND OF HASSLE!”

ME: (terrified silence, questioning if this guy is really this dumb or if I have been wrong all along about how debit cards work)

(The customer signed the sheet and angrily handed it to me and stormed out. Five minutes later I get a call from the general manager.)

MANAGER: “What was the issue with that gentleman with the long hair?”

ME: “He was angry that I ran his debit card as a credit card because he thinks Visa is going to bill him now.”

MANAGER: “Oh well there’s no worry about that happening. Seems you handled it okay.”

Not Smart Enough For A Smart Phone

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2017

(A customer enters our store. She has been here before on multiple occasions to inquire about phones and plans. She doesn’t have an account with our company yet.)

Customer: “Hi, I have come back to try to purchase a phone and plan, once again.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of phone were you looking to get?”

Customer: “I don’t know. The [Brand] one that’s easy to use.”

(We sell a lot of the mini-version of a particular phone, as starter smartphones for the older customers.)

Me: “The [Starter Phone]? Sure, what did you need in your plan?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, well, do you talk a lot on your phone?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, how much do you think you talk on the phone? On average.”

Customer: “I don’t know! How would I know?! You tell me how much I talk on the phone!”

Me: “I have no way of knowing how much you talk on your phone, as I am not you.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know how much I talk.”

Me: “Well, do you text or need access to internet?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(At this point, I’m just fed up and I give her two options for plans and ask her which one she thinks would suit her needs better.)

Customer: “This is too difficult! I just wanted to come in, get a phone with a plan and that’s it. You are giving me too many options! Just forget it” *stomps out in a huff*

Check Out This New Heart-Stopping Deal!

, , , , | Right | September 13, 2017

(I work security at a large shopping mall. One day, a customer in one of the stores suffers a heart attack and his heart stops. They have me at the door to keep flow of traffic moving and keep the door clear while we attempt to resuscitate him. [We succeed and he makes a full recovery.] Inside the store, there are approximately four uniformed security officers, two police officers, two firefighters, and two paramedics. There is also a large gurney in plain sight in the center aisle. An older couple walks up to the door and looks inside.)

Woman: “Oh, look, honey, they must be demonstrating a new product!”

He’s Too Flutter-shy To Buy The Shirt

, , | Related | September 11, 2017

(My brother and I are both in our mid-twenties. We’re browsing in a shop when he spies a “My Little Pony” magazine – he’s a Brony all right, but rather shy about it. He really wants that magazine, but doesn’t dare buy it. I offer to buy it for him and go to check out while he waits near the exit, but all through the transaction the cashier seems to struggle not to laugh. A bit later we’re sitting down outside on a bench when it suddenly dawns on me.)

Me: “[Brother], I don’t think the lady in the shop believed that I bought that magazine for myself.”

Brother: “Huh? Why not? You’re a girl!”

Me: “Yeah, but you’re the one wearing a Fluttershy t-shirt…”

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