Giving Great Import To The Price

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Working | June 16, 2015

(The menu on the wall lists two prices for beer: domestic and imported. It doesn’t list the brands, but I see through the glass door of the cooler that they have Anchor Steam beer, from San Francisco, so I order that. When the clerk rings up the sale, I notice he has charged me the ‘imported’ price.)

Me: “Hey, that’s a domestic beer!”

Clerk: “Yeah, I know, but we call it imported because it’s expensive.”

Be Wary Of Your Six-Inch

| FL, USA | Working | June 16, 2015

(Today is my first day of working at a very popular sandwich delivery restaurant. I have only done two deliveries before this.)

Coworker: *getting off the phone* “All right, who’s the lucky b****** who gets this order.” *pause* “NEW GUY!”

Me: *confused* “Uhh, what’s up?”

Coworker: “You get to deliver to the strip club!”

Tipped In Your Favor

| FL, USA | Right | June 15, 2015

(I’m in a restaurant when a 20-something girl comes up to the waitress taking my order.)

Patron: “Excuse me.”

Waitress: “Is there a problem?”

Patron: “No, I just wanted to forewarn you that my grandmother is going to give you a hard time and probably complain about everything. I know that it’s frustrating dealing with those kinds of customers but she’s old and set in her ways which I know is no excuse, but please just take it with a grain of salt. And here:” *the girl hands the waitress two 20s* “because I know she probably won’t tip very well and you’ll need some incentive not to bludgeon her with a hot poker.”

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A Jerk Response

| IA, USA | Romantic | June 12, 2015

(My girlfriend of a year-and-a-half just got back from vacation a day before, and I refused to see her because I had plans to propose to her the next day. She’s pretty pissed off at me, but I convince her to come out with me under the guise of taking my mother out for Mother’s Day. She walks into the restaurant to see me holding flowers.)

Girlfriend: “Ooooh! They’re so pretty!”

(She takes them from me, and I get down on one knee and pull out the ring.)

Girlfriend: *surprised* “NO!”

(I smile and look back up at her.)

Girlfriend: “I mean, yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

(I put the ring on her finger and lean in to kiss her.)

Girlfriend: “Is this the reason you wouldn’t see me yesterday when I got home?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

Girlfriend: “What a jerk.”

(Both our whole families were there, and my dad caught it on video camera. We’ve watched it a couple of times, and she still blushes when it comes to her having called me a jerk immediately after proposing!)

Food For Thought-less

, | NSW, Australia | Romantic | June 12, 2015

(My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over three months. We’re on a late-night date at the fast food store where I work. I have ordered our food and am sitting down opposite the cafe area, where my best friend is working. Though it’s half-an hour till closing, a large group of guys walk in. The kitchen gets busy so I help out before returning to my girlfriend. They sit near us and are being loud and rude. They pay no attention to us until I kiss my girlfriend.)

Customer: “Hey, lesbos! Take it somewhere else. We’re trying to f****** eat here!”

(We ignore them, but two of his friends egg him on, with him throwing constant homophobic abuse at us, with two of his mates agreeing.)

Me: “Can you keep it down? We’re trying to eat here.”

Customer: “F***! Go suck a d**k, b****!”

Best Friend: *yelling over the cafe counter* “Hey, leave her and her girlfriend alone or you’re going to have to leave!”

(The three customers abusing us stop suddenly before heading over to the counter, where they proceed to attempt to intimidate and make a complaint with my very short female manager.)

Customer: “They were abusing us! Spreading their lesbian-ness all over us while we’re trying to eat! Kick them out! We’re right!”

Girlfriend: “Hey, d***-heads, the lesbian made your food.”

(The men left angry and shocked, but not before the last man to leave apologies for his friends’ behavior. I later found out he rang up the store as well and apologised to my manager for their rudeness.)

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