Too Chicken To Order The Veggies

| Houghton, NY, USA | Working | April 17, 2015

(My college fast food joint recently had a change in management. I am a vegetarian.)

Cashier: “What can I get you?”

Me: “Hi, can I have the veggie wrap?”

Cashier: “Uh… I don’t think we have those.”

Me: *surprised* “I’ve ordered them here before with no problem.”

Cashier: “One moment.” *yells back to manager* “Can we make a veggie wrap?”

Manager: *from back* “No! We only have a chicken wrap!”

Cashier: *turns back to me* “Sorry, we don’t have those. I’m not sure why the previous owners were able to make one for you. We only have chicken wraps.”

Me: “…Well, could I have a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Cashier: *wheels turning* “…Hey, [Manager], can we just do a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

Manager: *silence* “Yeah, I guess we could do that!”

Cashier: “Okay! What would you like on that?”

(Every time I went there from then on, I had to specifically order ‘the chicken wrap without the chicken.’ Only ONE cashier in the next two years of me going to college there asked why I hadn’t just asked for a vegetable wrap.)

An Order That’s All Gravy

, | AB, Canada | Working | April 17, 2015

(Poutine is a very popular fast food item in Canada. It’s French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. This happened at a world-famous fast food chain shortly after they added poutine to their menu.)

Me: “Oh, and could I get gravy on my French fries?”

Clerk: “We don’t sell French fries with gravy.”

Me: “Uh… could I get poutine without the cheese?”

Clerk: “No problem!”

Assumptions Are The Devil

| MO, USA | Right | April 17, 2015

(I work in a sandwich shop. I’m working the front counter and taking an order from a couple in their 60s or 70s.)

Customer: “What’s that you’re wearing?” *she points to my the Egyptian ankh I wear as a necklace*

Me: “It’s an ankh. It’s an Egyptian symbol of life.”

(Customer talks quietly to her husband for a moment then turns back to me.)

Customer: “Do you think it gives you special powers?”

Me: “No, I just like the symbol and life.”

(Customer confers with her husband again then asks, deadly serious.)

Customer: “So, do you worship the devil?”

Me: “No. I also don’t insult people just because I don’t understand them.”

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Lacking Some Nuggets Of Understanding

, | CA, USA | Working | April 16, 2015

(Every Saturday my mom takes me, my grandma, and my sister to the mall for lunch. When we get lunch, my sister wants the same thing at the same fast food restaurant every time. Usually the workers there are plenty polite and we get our food relatively fast, except for this one time…)

Mom: “Hello, we’d like a six-piece nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup.”

Employee: “Hi, what would you like to order?”

Mom: “We’d like a six-piece-nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup.”

Employee: “A six-piece nugget meal?”

Mom: “I’d like a six-piece nugget meal, some orange juice, and some ketchup, please.”

Employee: “What drink?”

Mom: *in a slightly exasperated voice* “Orange juice. I’d also like some ketchup.”

Employee: “Would you like any sauce?”

Mom: *sighs* “Ketchup.”

Employee: “So you want a six-piece nugget meal, orange juice, and ketchup?”

Mom: “Yes!”

Employee: “Your total is [amount].”

Mom: *pays*

(We leave with our food and join our grandma, who has the rest of our food. That never happened to us again. I guess the guy was either new or really zoned out that day!)

Don’t Joke About The Pancakes

| Martinez, CA, USA | Related | April 16, 2015

(I, my older brother, and my older sister are waiting for our food at [Restaurant known for pancakes]. I keep looking back waiting for my huge stack of chocolate chip pancakes because I am really hungry, and my siblings are laughing at me because of it.)

Me: *sitting at the table drinking apple juice*

Sister: “Your food’s here.”

Me: *turns around* “WHERE?!”

Brother: *starts laughing and gasping* “Oh, you fell for it!”

Me: *glares at sister and stays silent for a while, before turning to her* “Your make-up’s smeared.”

Sister: “Where?”

Brother: *laughs hysterically* “How did you not see that coming?”

Sister: *glares at me*

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