He’s Engaged With Something Else

| Lancaster, PA, USA | Related | November 4, 2016

(My then-girlfriend and I have been dating seriously for nearly a year and a half. Her parents moved across the country about the same time we got serious. She is visiting her parents who flew back and are staying at a resort; I join them over the weekend. The four of us are sitting around the pool until my girlfriend and her mother go upstairs. This leaves me alone with her father, a man of few words. We engage in some brief small talk, then I decide to pop “the question before the question.”)

Me: “So, do I have your permission to marry your daughter?”

Father: “Well, I don’t see why not; you’re both mature adults.” *without missing a beat* “So, who do you like in the [College Football] game today?”

Me: […]

(He never did like deep discussions, but still! He did keep it a secret from my future mother-in-law, however, until I popped the question to my now-wife.)

Won’t Resort To It Again

| AB, Canada | Working | April 9, 2015

(I apply for a summer job at one of my favourite tourist resorts. I don’t hear anything back, so I start moving on. Early into the summer, though, they call me.)

Manager: “Hello, this is [Manager] with [Resort]. We’ve recently had an opening, and we like you’re application. We’re wondering if you’re still interested?”

Me: “Yes! I am! I haven’t found a summer job yet, and I’d love to work there!”

Manager: “Excellent! I’ll call you back later this afternoon, and we’ll do a proper interview over the phone. ”

(He hangs up and I get very excited. A few hours go by, and the manager calls back to do the interview.)

Manager: “Um, yeah. Hi. Well, shortly after I got off the phone with you this morning, the guy who submitted his two-weeks notice came back in, said he changed his mind, and rescinded his two-weeks notice. So we no longer have any openings. My apologies.”

(Disappointed, I move on. A few days later…)

Manager: “Hi! This is [Manager] with [Resort] again. We’ve suddenly had another opening come up. Are you still interested in working at [Resort]?”

Me: “Well, yeah. But this isn’t going to be like last time, is it? Where the person who quit comes back and changes their mind?”

Manager: “Oh, no! Trust me, this opening that just came up. There’s no way they’re getting their position back.”

(Same as last time, we make an appointment for a few hours later to do a proper phone interview. At the appointed time…)

Manager: “Well, I hate to do this again, [My Name], but the person who quit came back in a few hours later and rescinded their two-weeks notice. So once again, we don’t have any openings.”

(A few days later, having found a different summer job, I come home from work and see I have a voice mail message. Guess what?)

Manager: “Hello, [My Name]. This is [Manager] with [Resort] again. We’ve had an opening come up once again! Are you still interested in working at [Resort]? Call me back!

(Needless to say, I didn’t call back.)

Will Be In Hot Water After This

| Alicante, Spain | Related | September 22, 2014

(I am on holiday with my husband and two of my children, 16 and 20. The temperature has been about 30C all day, which we’re not used to. We’re watching a film late at night, when my 16-year-old son pauses it to go to the toilet.)

Me: “I’m so hot!”

(My daughter, who is sitting next to me on the sofa, throws her arms around me, nuzzles in close to my neck and whispers in my ear.)

Daughter: “This…. is not going to help.”

Most Meetings Are A Slow Death

| VT, USA | Working | August 12, 2014

(I work as a volunteer EMT for the town the ski resort is in. I have cleared this with my manager and she seems to be supportive of me leaving if an emergency happens and my pager goes off. I am on call which means that if there is a medical emergency, I am part of the ambulance crew. My pager went off during a meeting and I just got back from the call.)

Manager: “Next time we’re in a meeting don’t bring your pager. It’s unprofessional.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just let people die…”

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Lost And Found Rebound

| USA | Right | April 5, 2014

(I work for a section of a resort that plans activities, sells discount cards for certain activities, etc. Our lost and found section is behind our desks, in the break room.)

Customer: “Have you had a brown purse turned in to your lost and found?”

Me: “Give me just one second and I’ll go back and see about that for you!”

Customer: “Can you make it quick? I really don’t have the time.”

(I go back and look for the purse in our lost and found. It is not there.)

Me: “Ma’am, I see no purses back there resembling the one you’ve described. You can fill out a lost item report and someone will call you if the item shows up.”

Customer: “I do not want to fill out a report! This is ridiculous! Let me see if it’s back there!”

(Customer charges back behind the desks, heading straight for me, full-steam ahead.)

Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed back there!”

(A manager sees what’s going on and comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you. If my employee didn’t see your purse back there, it isn’t back there.”

Customer: “This is bulls***! Let me go back there!”

(Customer charges again, only to be held back by my manager.)

Manager: “Ma’am, could you give us a better description of the purse?”

Customer: “Oh, my god! It’s brown, and has one strap. It’s Coach. It has an iPhone, a Coach wallet, and a makeup bag inside it!”

Manager: “Does it resemble the purse hanging off your shoulder?”

(Customer looks at her shoulder and her mouth drops open.)

Customer: “You planted it on me while I wasn’t looking! You were going to steal it if I hadn’t come back here!”

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