I work at a restaurant in a resort hotel that has a roughly 400-person occupancy post-health crisis, and to say I’ve been getting burnt out is an understatement to the Nth degree. After a rough Friday and Saturday — fifty-plus-minute ticket times, an hour-long waitlist, and just a complete dumpster fire start to finish — I had absolutely no desire to go in yesterday. My faith in humanity was decimated. But I went, and holy s*** was it the best decision I’ve made this year.

The last table of the night was a twenty-two-top youth basketball team with eight adults. I was already pissed, thinking they’d make a mess and have a million split tickets. Then, an angel from the walk-in in the sky blessed me with their presence. All one ticket. More or less well-behaved kids. Everyone was nice and patient. Food came out right. I thought I was having a stroke or another work dream. This angel of a man who was taking care of the tab tipped me $1,200 on top of the included $240 gratuity.

I have never in my life cried from happiness at work in my life. Sad cry? Yes. Angry cry? Abso-f******-lutely. Work July Fourth lakeside and the kitchen catches on fire cry? Just the one time. But never happy crying. This man gave me over $1,400 and could not have been nicer. And I almost called out. My faith in humanity is restored and my eyes are puffy from crying. To think I was dreading coming to work and almost called out.

At the last minute, a friend has invited us to stay in an extra room that they reserved at an area water park. The room is open due to their other friends deciding not to be guests, so we finish our activities and quickly drive up.

In the lobby, I walk up to the front desk and the older employee just stares at me, waiting for me to tell him what I want. I tell him that I am here to pick up keys and wristband while also telling him my name and my wife’s. I also tell him the name of the friend who invited us.

He stares at his screen for a bit before walking to the left to look for wristbands. He says he cannot find our names, so I go outside to try and contact my friends while my wife stays inside to talk to the older employee, who just looks anywhere but the computer and says we are not listed.

I find our friends and tell them what happened, and then I walk with them to the lobby where we encounter a different employee. We tell her the story and she looks at the computer and immediately finds our names. She also walks to the same drawers that the older employee had looked through and finds the wristbands at the top. She immediately apologizes as she wishes us a safe stay.

While we have a free room for a couple of days, the reviews also tell the tale of this resort; there are negative reviews of certain employees. My guess is that he was clocking off soon and wanted to look like he was working.

We’re eating dinner as a family at a grill located on the beach while on vacation in Ibiza. We had to make our reservation on the first day of our vacation because it’s such a lovely and in-demand restaurant.

We have two children under the age of four, so we ask for a reservation at 6:00 pm, their first dinner service. We arrive early so we can pick a seat near the front of the terrace. Everything is going well, the food is excellent, and the children are well-behaved.

At 7:30-ish, a “lovely” middle-aged couple appears.

Female Customer: “We want a seat on the terrace!”

Hostess: “We don’t have any seating on the terrace at this time, but our next seating is in an hour. We will be more than happy to seat you then.”

Female Customer: “But we had a reservation! We should be able to sit wherever we want!”

Hostess: “Your reservation was at 6:30 pm. Unfortunately, because you arrived very late, all of the tables on the terrace are occupied at this time.”

Female Customer: “Why can’t I sit there?!”

She points to an empty table on the other side of the terrace.

Hostess: “Ma’am, that table does not belong to this restaurant. It belongs to the cafe next door. We can’t serve you if you’re sitting there.”

Female Customer: “I can’t believe this! I had a reservation. How dare you give away our table?!”

Hostess: “We operate on a first-come-first-served basis, even for reservations—”

Female Customer: *Interrupting* “I want the manager! You’re useless!”

The husband speaks up, but instead of being embarrassed by his wife’s shouting and hysterics, he seems to be egging her on.

Male Customer: “Exactly, dear. Such poor service.”

The hostess leaves, and the woman pulls out the stool from behind the hostess stand and sits down! She is in the way so the poor hostess cannot do her job. The hostess greets two more tables, who are more than happy to sit inside, but the couple interrupts her to heckle her. A few minutes later, the manager arrives.

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Female Customer: “We had a reservation—”

Manager: “My hostess tells me that you were an hour late to arrive.”

Female Customer: “You should have saved our table!”

Manager: “You didn’t arrive. We can seat you at 8:30 pm if you still wish to eat. Our bar is open, so you’re more than welcome to sit there until your table is ready—”

Female Customer: “I want free drinks!”

Manager: “I’m not going to give you free drinks because you arrived late. I am willing to seat you but—”

Female Customer: “We’ve been sitting here for half an hour!”

Manager: “There is half an hour until the next seating. Please come back later. You are bothering other diners.”

Female Customer: “I don’t appreciate your tone. You’re very aggressive!”

At this point, the woman has interrupted everything the manager has tried to say and talked over her. The fact that the manager is still willing to seat her at all is a marvel to me!

Manager: “I’m not dealing with this anymore. You’ve harassed all of my servers and belittled my hostess. If you still want to eat here, fine. But you need to apologize to everyone that you’ve insulted. It’s their choice if they want to serve you.”

Female Customer: “You’ll seat me and my husband, now!”

Manager: “That’s it. Get out.”

Female Customer: “That table is free! That family just left! We’re going to sit there.”

The woman pulled her husband, who was still encouraging her behaviour, over to the dirty table and sat down. She waited for the servers to clear the table and tried to order a drink. No one would make eye contact with her. After several minutes, the police arrived and she was escorted out.

I made sure to leave a large tip. I think the staff handled the situation well, though I would have kicked her out a lot sooner!

This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

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I’m an observer here. [Customer #1] is approaching the register with a basket of prepared sandwiches, snacks, and drinks. [Customer #2] comes up shortly after, dressed for the beach, with a bottle of sunscreen.

Customer #2: “You should let me go first. I just have this one thing and I’m in a hurry.”

[Customer #1] looks at how [Customer #2] is dressed.

Customer #1: “I’m an ER doctor on my lunch break. If you seriously think it’s more important for you to get to the beach than for me to get back to my patients, then go ahead.”

[Customer #2] slunk to the back of the line.

I am working as a wrangler at a resort ranch where folks come up from the city to play cowboy for a weekend. I take care of the horses, get them saddled and bridled, and get the guests mounted up. I also escort them on the trail rides.

One guy saw this entire process and I spoke to him for much of the hour on the trail. When I got him off the horse, he actually asked me what I do for a living. I just dropped my head and said, “You tell him,” to a fellow wrangler and walked into the barn.

Surely barn doors are really just entries to alternate realities where horses go into stasis with no bodily functions. Kind of like parking a car. And who would want to be paid for dealing with the people?

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Pray They’re Horsing Around