My twin brother and I worked as parking attendants at a resort over the summer. Because I am younger, I was around 15 at the time, people tried to bribe me a lot. They also tried to intimidate us multiple times. One time I could recall clearly was on a 100+ degree day, A man walk over to us and immediately started screaming. Usually I’m the more sociable of the two, but my twin started talking to try to defuse the situation as well. I should also mention that attached to the parking lot is a dock.

Customer: *Visable Angry* Do you work here?

Coworker/Twin: * Surprisingly calm* Yes, and how can we help you today?

Customer: I bet your father got you this job, didn’t he? And how many units does he own?

It was a lucky guess as he couldn’t have possibly know who my father was. But yes my father did. He was the head of the board and up for re-election. However, I didn’t want this man knowing that and campaigning against him.

Me: *Without missing a beat* One.

Customer:*Trying to intimidate me* I own 3. Now, do your job and tell these boaters to leave. I can’t even park my boat at I place I practically own.

Me: *Trying to remain calm and collect* They are paying guests, also they have priority as they using the hotel portion of the resort and also were here first.

Customer: Do you know who I am? I could get you fired! I’m good friends with [My General Manager] and [My Father and Head of Board].

Coworker/Twin: *To me* I’ll check this out, watch for more cars.

My coworker/twin comes back later and I asked him what happened. He said that the man wanted to park only in his spot, which was a public one that he didn’t even own, and that there were 3 other spots open. He finally settled for another one and we thought we had heard the last of him. He can back later and said that he was right about them being not from the hotel. The kicker is though, the place we let park their boat there was a wedding which overhead everything. They offered us food and drinks, but we politely declined. They insisted and gave us giant cinnamon buns. Also my father said he never heard of the man before.

(The resort I work for has many rental units from campsites to deluxe cabins open year-round. I’m currently taking phone calls.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “You got any cabins available?”

Me: “For when? For tonight?”

(When people ask this and give no date, it’s for “tonight” 90% of the time, but not this guy:)

Customer: “Ah, no. For [two days from now].”

Me: “It looks like most of our cabins are still open that day.”

(I try to further help him find the cabin that’s right for him, because we have 50+ cabins, and a dozen different layouts and sizes.)

Me: “Do you know which cabin you wanted to rent? Or about what size you needed, like how many bedrooms you need, or how many people you’ll have?”

Customer: “Well, uh, nah. I just wanted to… Hey, how much are they?”

Me: “It would depend on what size cabin you wanted; they range from $160 a night to $600 per night.”

Customer: “Wow, okay, so you can’t tell me how much they are?”

Me: “We have several different sizes of cabins that are all a different cost; it would depend on what size cabin you needed.”

Customer: “I mean, I just wanted to know how much the cabins were.”

(I’m starting to get frustrated at this point; he’s not giving me any information to help him.)

Me: “If you don’t know what size cabin you need, all I can say is that they range from $160 to $600 per night.”

Customer: “Ah, okay, well, tell me what cabin you would like.”

(There’s a very noticeable pause here, because I just can’t fathom how he thinks that will help. I’m thinking I’ll either recommend a one-bedroom cabin that’s too small, or a five-bedroom cabin that costs too much.)

Me: “We have a lot of different options; if you can tell me about how many people you have I can give you a better idea of cost. Do you think it will be two or three people?”

Customer: “Nah, nah, not that many. Uh, um. Well, let me see. So, it may be like eight or ten people.”

(At the lack of basic math skills, I start to suspect prank call, then realize that’s just what I wish it was. My gut tells me he’s just this dumb, but I’m relieved I finally have something to go off of and can start selling.)

Me: “Okay, so, a lot of our cabins can hold six people maximum, and we have just a couple that can hold ten people. A good cabin that would fit your group is the [Cabin #1]; it has [lists all it includes], plus a hot tub outside on the deck. This cabin is $529 per night for one to six people, and $20 more per person after that. So, ten people is $609 per night.”

Customer: “Wow, so really, $600?”

Me: “If you had ten people, yes.”

Customer: “What if I had two people?”

(With most people, I’d suggest a smaller cabin if they only have two people, but this guy seems to be deliberately ignorant, so he’s losing my sympathy.)

Me: “Then it would be $529 per night.”

Customer: “What if I had four people?”

Me: “$529 per night.”

Customer: “Okay, what if the cabin had a hot tub?”

Me: “This cabin does have a hot tub.”

Customer: “Okay, nice, how much is that cabin?”

Me: “That’s the cabin we’re talking about, the [Cabin #1]; it’s $529 per night for one to six people, $609 per night for ten people.”

(Then, his most genuinely insightful line of dialogue is delivered:)

Customer: “Hmm, well, you know, I think I might do a bit more research before deciding. I’ll call you back.”

Me: “Okay, have a nice day.”

​​Customer: *click*

(Every one of our cabins is listed on our website, including photos of inside and out, floor plans, and prices. I also noticed the phone number he dialed to reach us is only listed on the website, so he’d already been to the site once, and decided to call instead of finding the answers for himself.)

(I work at a ski resort. My coworker is a surveyor on the mountain asking questions of guests and how they like the mountain. The questions are on a one-to-ten scale.)

Coworker: “Excuse me, may I ask you a few questions while you’re riding the chair?”

Skier: “Oh, no! Not another survey. I’ve already answered all those long-a** questions and I am not doing it again!”

Coworker: “Okay, well, do you mind if I ask the man sitting next to you?”

Skier: “No! I don’t even want to hear them all over again.”

(A few moments pass by, as it’s a long chair.)

Skier: “So, on a scale of one to ten, how pissed are you that I didn’t answer your questions?”

(I’m working the register for our golf course with another coworker. We’ve hired a new assistant for our greenskeeper. He comes in with a golf club in one hand and half a Gatorade in the other.)

Assistant: “Hey, I found this outside. Can I have it?”

Me: *thinking he’s talking about the golf club* “If no one calls or asks about it in a month, we usually add it to our rentals.”

Assistant: “Oh, no, the Gatorade. I found it outside and wanted to know if I can have it.”

(I look at my coworker, whose jaw is practically on the floor.)

Me: “Uh, I wouldn’t recommend drinking it, but you can if you want to, I guess.”

Assistant: “Okay, great, thanks!”

(I sell tickets in a booth at a ski resort. The mic is not working very well and even when we speak loudly, the customers have trouble hearing us. Because of this and the sun’s reflection on the glass, they often have trouble even acknowledging our presence at the till and we have to call them multiple times before they realize there’s a cashier behind the glass. I’m at till #4. One day, my coworker at till #3 gets up and leaves for her lunch break. I see a customer approaching till #3 to get a ticket. I call him a few times so that he can come to my till, instead. He’s not coming and I don’t see him anymore so I assume he went to till #2 or #1, instead. A few minutes later, I see him coming to me to get a ticket:)

Customer: “I was waiting at that till but the cashier left and she didn’t come back!”

(This customer really kept waiting five minutes for her to come back instead of just going to another till like anyone would! Besides, we have to put a sign to indicate that the till is closed when we leave for lunch break, and there was no one else in the queue so he could have gone to another till very quickly. I tried hard not to laugh!)