I work at a vacation resort in the children’s center, a place with various activities for entertaining children. Two younger girls have been brought in by their mother. The older one is carrying a stuffed flamingo and the youngest has an owl in a doctor outfit.

Me: “I love your stuffies. Do they have names?”

Older Girl: “This is Mango! And Sissy’s is Doctor Who.”

Me: *To the younger girl* “I like your stuffie’s name. Why did you name it that?”

Younger Girl: “She a doctor.”

Older Girl: “And owls say, ‘whoo’.”

Mom: “They haven’t even seen the show, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

Me: “I was, actually. So it’s just a coincidence?”

Older Girl: “What show?”

Mom: *To me* “No, their godfather is a self-proclaimed geek and is quite proud of himself for convincing them to use that name.”

Older Girl: “What show, Mom?”

Mom: *To the girl* “You will have to ask your godfather about it.” *To me* “And I’ll have to figure out if it’s too late to swap their godfather for a less geeky model.”

Two young women come into my resort and try to make a reservation. They debate back and forth for a while about whether or not they want to pay so much for the room; we have a huge property and lots of amenities, so we are more expensive than a hotel. They finally decide to get a room for the night and extend in the morning if they like it. I have already brought everything up on my computer while they were talking, so all I need is to fill in their personal information and take payment for the room.

Me: “All right, that will be [total] for the night. If you’re paying with cash, we require a $200 deposit that you will get back at checkout, but there is no deposit if paying with a credit card.”

Woman #1: “Okay, what’s your cash tag?”

Me: “My what?”

Woman #1: “Your cash tag. I am paying with [Mobile Payment Service #1].”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t take payment with [Mobile Payment Service #1]. You’ll have to pay with cash or a credit card.”

Woman #1: “I don’t carry cash; this is more secure.”

Me: “Okay, well, my system isn’t set up to accept anything other than cash or credit card, so I physically have to have one or the other to check you in.”

Woman #2: “It’s fine, I’ll get it. I have [Mobile Payment Service #2] and [Mobile Payment Service #3].”

Me: “We don’t accept those, either — just cash or credit card.”

Woman #2: “Well, how do you expect us to pay for our room, then?”

Woman #1: “Is there a manager I can speak to?”

Me: “No manager on the premises, just me. Sorry.”

Woman #2: “Well, can we just transfer the money to your account and have you figure it out?”

Me: “NO!”

They then tried to convince me to download one of the apps on my phone so that they could pay me for the room and I could figure out how to pay the resort, but I wasn’t having it. I don’t understand how people travel without carrying regular forms of payment. Am I just behind the times?

I work in a little section of a resort gift shop. We have our own cash registers and our own section of things people can buy that’s sort of separate from the rest of the gift shop

I am working the cash register like usual, and our little section is completely empty. This mother comes in with her baby who is wearing a shirt and nothing else — no diaper or pants, just bare butt. She walks right up to the counter, I greet her politely, and she decides to set her child on the counter. We don’t let customers set their kids on the counter at all, let alone bare-a**ed.

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t sit your child on the counter.”

She promptly snatches up her child.

Woman: “IT’S NOT LIKE HE’S HURTING IT!”

And she stormed out of the gift shop while I was standing there, blinking in surprise at how she went from zero to one hundred in the blink of an eye.

And yes, I did thoroughly disinfect the counter after she left.

In Germany, we have these things called “grill huts” in some places. They are very simple little houses somewhere out in nature, and you can have barbecue parties there. They are public and can be rented from the town for a small fee and with a deposit.

Three years ago, I worked at the front desk in a holiday resort in Belgium, and we had little holiday houses that we rented out. There was a maximum of eight people, and you had to pay extra for more than six people. You could NOT rent them for just one night because we had to have the whole little house cleaned before the next guests came anyway, and that just doesn’t work. We had rooms and a camping site open to people who only wanted to stay for a night, but not those holiday houses.

Because we spoke German, many people didn’t understand that this site was in Belgium and assumed that everything worked the same as in Germany.

One day, I took a call from a German woman.

Customer: “How much would it be to rent one of those grill huts for one night?”

Me: “Do you mean the holiday houses? We don’t rent those out for single nights.”

Customer: “But I just want to have my barbecue party there one evening! How is it fair that I have to rent it for two days?”

Me: “Excuse me. What do you mean by ‘barbecue party’?”

Customer: “I want to have a barbecue with my friends. We wouldn’t even sleep there! Can’t you make an exception?”

Me: “I am very sorry, but no, you have to rent it for two days if you would like to have your barbecue here. Also, how many friends are you bringing? Because we do have an eight-person limit per house.”

Customer: “Just eight people? But I want to bring twenty! What kind of a grill hut is that?”

Me: “Ma’am, they’re not grill huts. They are holiday homes. And we can’t have twenty people in one holiday home. I am very sorry.”

Customer: “But we don’t even want to use it as a holiday home! They are not even sleeping there! This will be way less effort for you. Why can’t we have it for just one night?”

Me: “Because we don’t rent them out for one night and because they aren’t grill huts. I’m sorry but this won’t work that way.”

She continued on and on, and at some point, thankfully, my colleague took over.

We had to explain to her several times that they were not grill huts and she still did not get it. She also had the audacity to be upset about our rates. Yes, obviously, a fully furnished holiday home with bedrooms, bathrooms, and a real kitchen would be more expensive than a grill hut. And also, why would we make an exception and rent it to you for one night, if we know you are going to bring at least twenty people when only eight are allowed, it is probably going to be loud and other guests will complain, there will be alcohol, and you don’t want to use our restaurant OR hire our cook who can prepare sides and barbecue for you in our paved area (where it is SAFE to barbecue) because you are cheap? We know people probably WILL sleep there, even if you say they won’t, and even if they don’t, we will still have a lot of cleaning to do with twenty people walking in and out of the house to use the fridge or bathroom, so NO, it would not be less effort for us.

It was the middle of a very hot summer, and it would be a fire hazard to have twenty probably drunk people just barbecuing probably somewhere in the middle of our area. IT WAS JUST NOT A FREAKING GRILL HUT!

I just don’t know what some people are thinking.

My family and I are going to a resort. The day before we arrive, we are told that our meal package was “upgraded” completely out of the blue. The employee we speak to doesn’t give many details — they don’t seem to know themselves or explain the difference — but they do say we can ask at the resort. We ask about what choice we have, and it is clear our choice is to take the upgrade or a refund and they will throw in some food vouchers. We take the upgrade.

We arrive and ask at check-in. The employee there explains that we will use a separate restaurant, which looks like it has a more high-end menu. We are still hopeful and ask for a copy of the menu as we unpack, but quickly, there is a problem. I head back to check-in.

Me: “We’ve been upgraded to [meal package #1] but I don’t see half of the vegetarian options available.”

Employee: “Yes, [meal package #2] is more suitable for vegetarians. We advise guests to choose that package if they have special requirements.”

Me: “No, see, we did choose that package. We were told that we were moved to the other one.”

Employee: “Let me see.” *Checks his computer* “Okay, I see a note. We upgraded you as we overbooked [meal package #2]. But you’ve saved over two hundred pounds.”

Me: “Okay, but we weren’t told about the restrictions. Can we change back? The options are very limited — not enough to eat there all week.”

Employee: “I’m afraid that package is full.”

Me: “But we can’t use the new restaurant.”

Employee: “[Meal package #1] has access to several other excellent meals and drinks.”

Me: “Which we can’t eat.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but if it’s full, I can’t add you to the package. Maybe you could ask around for someone to swap.”

Me: “No. I appreciate that, but could I just get my money refunded? I mean, you are not providing a suitable alternative.”

Employee: “Are you sure? I’ve eaten there myself; the food really is excellent.”

I wanted to scream, “The food may be world-class, but it doesn’t matter if we cannot eat!” After a lot of back and forth and insistence that we “give it a go,” we finally got a refund. I also rang the booking line to get the offered vouchers.

Things did work out well in the end, as they mistakenly refunded the cost of the much more expensive meal package. While it wasn’t the fully catered holiday we’d booked, between the refund and the vouchers, we ate like kings for the week!