(I am a fairly anxious teenager, working the till at a charity shop as a volunteer. The charity in question is a very big, well-known one. A man enters the shop and comes straight towards the counter. He’s got a very stern expression, and I’m concerned he’s here to make a complaint while my manager has stepped out.)

Customer: *sharply* “What do you do?”

Me: “Uh, the charity or me personally?”

Customer: “The charity.”

(I’m a little taken aback by his abruptness, and not sure how best to explain the work we do, because it has quite a broad scope, but I do my best:)

Me: “Well, we work with impoverished communities overseas to provide aid, like building wells and schools and, um, also medical care and education. We cover quite a lot of areas, really, but the aim is, I suppose, to help those communities become able to help themselves…”

(I go on in this vein for a while; I’m aware that I’m rambling, but the guy keeps frowning at me expectantly, so I keep talking. Eventually, I run out of ways to explain what we do.)

Me: “Did you have any other questions, sir?”

(Without another word, he pulls out a chequebook and writes a £50 cheque!)

Customer: “What name do I make this out to? Just [Charity]?”

Me: “Yes, sir! Thank you so much!”

(I guess he just had an angry face; he very patiently filled out a form so we could claim back gift aid for his donation, and then he walked out of the shop without another word. Despite his abrupt behaviour, he ended up making my day!)

(At the cash register in our restaurant/game room:)

Kid: “Can you give me change?”

Me: “Do you have a dollar?”

Kid: *empty-handed and frowning* “Why I gotta give you a dollar?”

(We are working on trying to price-match an item for a customer:)

Me: “I’ve changed that price for you now.” *turns the screen around to show him the change I’ve made* “Your total is [total].”

(Please keep in mind that he was trying to price-match an item through one of our competitors that was twenty dollars cheaper online and had free shipping with it.)

Customer: “Why is my total so high? I thought you price-matched it!”

Me: “I did. See? Right here.”

(I turn the screen back around to show him the new price.)

Customer: “Then why is that my total?”

Me: “You still have to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “I want you to price-match!” 

Me: “I did. I changed the price of the item to the price that you showed me online.”

Customer: “Just do whatever you need to do to make it be that price exactly.”

Me: “I can’t just take off the tax, sir.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax.”

Me: “Yes, you are. You’re asking me to change the price of the item to give you that total amount, which would require me taking off the tax.”

Customer: “No, I’m not asking you to take off the tax. I’m just asking you to give me that total.” *points to my computer screen*

Me: “Sir, that would require my taking off the tax. I cannot just take off the tax unless you are tax-exempt.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax.”

Me: “Yes, you are!” 

Customer: “No, I’m not. I’m just asking you to make my total this amount.”

Me: “Sir, that would require me changing the price of the item to some random price that isn’t even the price that our competitor is offering it at; then, we wouldn’t actually be price-matching.”

Customer: “Just do whatever you need to do in order to give me this total.”

Me: *flabbergasted by this point* “I can’t do that, sir.”

Customer: “Then you aren’t price-matching.”

Me: “Yes I am. I changed the price of the item to the price that you showed me.”

Customer: “Then give it to me for that price!”

Me: “I can’t, sir! I cannot just take off the tax!”

Customer: “Then you aren’t price-matching!”

Me: “I don’t think you understand how price-matching works…”

Customer: “Can we get a manager up here?”

Me: “Absolutely. I will definitely call a manager for you!”

(I call the manager and he comes up to my register.)

Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “This customer wants us to give him this item for this price through a price-match.”

Manager: “Okay…”

Me: “But he’s not understanding that he still has to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “I’m not asking you to take off the tax; I just want you to give me the item for this price.”

Manager: “Yeah, that’s what we’re doing. See?” *shows the customer the screen*

Customer: “No, why is my total still what it was before?”

Manager: “Because you have to pay tax on the item.”

Customer: “Then you aren’t actually price-matching!”

Manager: “Yes, we are.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “This is terrible customer service! I’m gonna go home and buy it online!”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “You guys are missing out on a sale!”

Manager: “Okay.”

(The customer left the store, and the manager and I both just shook our heads.)

(Working as a manager, one of the responsibilities I handle is ordering our ice cream from suppliers. Because of the cost, we have a less than half markup on whole tubs. Since it is so infrequent that entire tubs are requested for purchase, I handle all of those orders personally.)

Employee: “Hey, [My Name], someone wants a whole tub of ice cream, [flavor].”

Me: “Okay, you want to ring up these folks? This is their last cone.”

(We do our well-practiced tap-out to switch customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, I was told you wanted to buy a tub of ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to order a tub of [flavor]; how much will that be?”

Me: “Well, luckily enough, we have enough extras in stock that we can get you a tub today, or I can—”

Customer: “No, I want you to order one in for me.”

Me: “Well, okay, the soonest it can be in would be—”

(I mentally check the dates, reviewing what my order will look like, and what we will get, and what I can add to the upcoming order.)

Me: “—this Tuesday.”

Customer: “That’s fine. How much will it be?”

Me: “It will be sixty dollars, taxes included, and you can pay at the main—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, that’s wrong.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “No, it’s not sixty dollars for a tub of ice cream; I’m not stupid! I want you to order me in a tub of ice cream, so I can pay you what it costs.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “We purchase our ice cream as a business, not for personal consumption. So, after our costs, the price is sixty dollars, with taxes included.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***. Get me your f****** manager so I can order my ice cream.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the department head. I handle all of our ordering, including our ice cream orders. We make exceptions to sell whole tubs, but we buy our ice cream to sell it. So, one tub of [flavor] will cost sixty dollars, and you can make the purchase at the main cash.”

Customer: “No way does a tub of ice cream cost that much, you liar! This is no way to run a business!”

Me: “Ma’am, if we ran our business selling everything at cost, we wouldn’t remain a business for long. Would you like to order your tub of [flavor], or may I return to helping my customers?”

(Luckily, a family who had been waiting patiently caught her eye, the mother and father both glaring at her. Embarrassed, the customer left the parlor to go pay for and get a dated receipt for her order.)

(My store only has two fully-functioning registers. Register #4 hasn’t worked in years, and register #1’s PIN pad very recently broke, so my cashiers are ringing people out on registers #2 and #3. There are signs all over register #1 saying it doesn’t work, but I’ve had to redirect quite a few customers to the correct registers multiple times. It’s a busy Saturday night. We’re slammed. With only two registers open, the lines are stretching about halfway down the store, and it’s gotten to the point where I see several customers drop their purchases and walk out. I decide to finally do something about the line and grab a cash drawer out of the safe. I print out several signs saying, “CASH ONLY,” in 72-pt font. I open register #1 and make an overhead announcement that the register is open only for cash transactions. Several people join my register, I cash them out, and things are finally moving. A woman with a fairly large order starts putting her items on my belt.)

Me: “Ma’am, this register is cash only. Are you paying with cash?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *rings up her order* “Your total is $141.72.”

Customer: *hands me two $20s*

Me: “I’ll need about $100 more, please.”

Customer: “I’m paying the rest by card.”

Me: “I can’t do that, ma’am, since this register is cash only.” *gestures to the empty spot where our PIN pad was* “The PIN pad broke a few days ago and we’re waiting on a replacement.”

Customer: “Well, that’s very short-sighted of you. Why open a register if you can’t take cards?”

Me: “This register is still capable of taking cash, ma’am. If you can’t pay for your entire order in cash, then I’m going to ask you to please move to one of the other registers, where one of my cashiers can ring you out by card.”

Customer: “But those are long lines! This is very inconvenient!”

(The lines have shrunk considerably, and she shouldn’t have too long of a wait at either line.)

Me: “I can help you move your items to one of the other registers, if you like.”

Customer: “No! I’m not going anywhere! What kind of store expects people to pay with cash? It’s not my fault you aren’t with the 21st century!”

Me: “Ma’am, registers #2 and #3 are fully capable of taking debit or credit as payment. One of them can check you out. Now, please get out of my line so I can continue to check out customers who are fully paying with cash.”

Customer: *walking away* “This is awful customer service! I’m calling corporate about this!”

(She did. The complaint said I “wouldn’t let her pay by card” and that “customers should be warned about inconveniences like that so their precious time isn’t wasted.” You mean like the announcement I made, the giant “CASH ONLY” signs all over the register, and me telling her it was cash only at the start of the transaction?)