(I work for a high school whose soccer team is competing in a regional match. Earlier in the day, the athletic director came to me in a panic asking if I could take money at the entrance since there was no one else available. A few extra dollars never hurt, so I agree. I pull up to the field and start putting on the money belt.)

Athletic Director: “The way this works is that everyone, and I mean everyone, is $5.”

Me: “Including young children?”

Athletic Director: “Absolutely. They could have a baby that came out of the womb yesterday, $5. A guy in his 90s, $5. Students, whether they are ours or theirs, pay the same. The only exceptions are individuals on the pass list.”

Me: “Okay, so we are charging the same for anyone regardless of age, height, weight, race, sexual orientation, etc.”

Athletic Director: “Exactly.”

Me: “This is going to be interesting.”

(I station myself at the entrance to the park. The first car goes through with no issues. Car number two, however…)

Woman: “What is this?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Oh, I’m the gatekeeper.”

Woman: “We have to pay to see our own kids play?!”

Me: “Yep. $5.”

Woman: “I’m out of here!” *starts backing out* “No wonder people are parking over there!”

(She points at a lot for an entirely different venue some distance away. I don’t have an opportunity to protest as she’s pulled far enough away and another car has come into the line. I handle a few more cars before she walks back up, now with a dog on a leash.)

Me: “It’s still $5.”

Woman: “FOR WHAT?!” *points to dog* “HIM?!”

Me: “No, you.”

Woman: “UGH!”

(She walks back to her car. A few more come through with no issues. Then, she’s back holding out a bill.)

Woman: “I am going to report you! You could have told me that before I went over there!”

(So, what was the implication here? That she didn’t know she would have to pay because this was the first game of her child’s she had ever been to, despite it being the end of the season, or that after already footing the bill towards a five-figures-a-year private school tuition, $5 was stretching it just a little too far? Anyway, the AD’s response to me telling him this event? “Seriously?!” Still waiting on that report!)

(I work in a relatively small amusement park just outside of Philadelphia. People come from all over to see the characters that the park is known for. While the prices are quite high, park employees have no responsibility for them and can’t change them at all.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Park]! How can I help you?”

Guest: “You can tell me why the prices here are so f****** high!”

Me: “Well, I have no control over the prices—“

Guest: “What do you mean, you have no control? Don’t you work here?”

Me: “Well, yes, I do work here, but I only sell the tickets; I don’t control the corporation that decides the price.”

Guest: “That is ridiculous! I demand you give me the lowest possible price!”

Me: “Do you have a coupon or a season pass? Or do you know someone with a season pass? Or are you the family member of an active military soldier?”

Guest: “No, but what does that have to do with anything?”

Me: “Those are the only ways to get a discount.”

Guest: “I want the season pass, then. At least then I only have to pay once.”

(She then purchases four of the most expensive of the three types of season passes that the park offers. So, instead of storming off in a huff as I expected, she has spent more money after ranting about the high prices.)

Guest: “Thank you!”

Me: *waves absently, and then to my coworker* “Did that just happen?”

Coworker: “I’m just as surprised as you are.”

(I’m working in a call center that pays above minimum wage, but not by much. I’m an extremely frugal person, which serves me well in this job. My coworkers sometimes have a harder time with it. The following describes several conversations with one such coworker.)

Coworker #1: “Ooh, that smells good! What are you eating?”

Me: “Tomato-basil bisque with cornbread muffins.”

Coworker #1: “Wait, from [Expensive Restaurant]? How the h*** can you afford that?!”

Me: “No, I made it, from some tomatoes I canned up last summer. Only about fifty cents worth of ingredients, and it made about three quarts worth!”

Coworker #1: “D***, girl, nobody has time for crap like that!” *eats her $10 takeout meal*

(Later:)

Coworker #1: “Hey, did you see [TV Show] last night?”

Me: “No, I don’t watch much TV, sorry.”

Coworker #1: “WHAT?! What the h*** do you do with your time?! I’d be bored out of my mind.”

(Another day, she overhears me talking with another coworker about a good-quality grain-grinder I bought.)

Coworker #1: “How the h*** can you even afford that?!”

Me: “I’ve been saving up for it for two years now. I have a ton of wild grains growing in my backyard. If I can—“

Coworker #1: “Just buy your food like everyone else does!”

(Another day, I catch part of a conversation happening near my desk:)

Coworker #1: *in tears* “How can they evict me? It’s not my fault I didn’t have money for the rent! Our fridge broke down. Do you know how much it costs to eat restaurant food three times a day? What am I supposed to tell my little boy?”

Coworker #2: “Wait, didn’t your fridge break down months ago?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, I couldn’t afford a new one! If I had a fridge, I’d have a place to keep TV dinners, and then we wouldn’t have to eat out every meal.”

(The insurance company through which we write typically does not allow cash payments; HOWEVER, they do make an exception for our agency, since most of our book of business does not have bank accounts. One of the stipulations is that we NEVER have more cash on hand than we are going to deposit each night. As such, we generally do not have the ability to make change. MONDAY:)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to put $70 on my policy.” *hands me a $100 bill*

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have change for this.”

Customer: “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Me: “There are two banks across the street, and one two doors down. They’ll be happy to make change.”

Customer: *huffy* “Well, if I leave, I’m not coming back today!”

Me: “I understand. Your bill is due by Friday.”

(Wednesday:)

Customer: “I want to put $70 on my policy.” *hands me $100 bill*

Me: “I’m sorry, I still don’t have change for this.”

Customer: “Well, when will you have change?”

Me: “I really can’t tell you. We are not allowed to have any more cash on hand than we receive throughout the day; that’s corporate policy. In fact, we are one of the few agencies in the state permitted to handle cash at all.”

Customer: “Does anyone here have change?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are not allowed to personally give change, either. Again, corporate really has strict rules about agencies handling cash.”

Customer: “Then how does anyone pay?”

Me: “We have several options: check, credit, debit, automatic withdrawal, money order… In fact, if you want to get a money order, the two banks across the street, the grocery store next door, or the big box store down the street are happy to help.”

Customer: “THIS IS BULL!” *storms out*

(Friday:)

Customer: “I have $80. I want to put $70 on my policy.”

Me: “Again, we do not have change.”

Customer: “THIS IS BULL! JUST CANCEL MY POLICY! I’D RATHER GO TO JAIL FOR NOT HAVING INSURANCE THAN DEAL WITH THIS S***! YOU’RE A B****! GO TO H***!” *runs out the door, slamming it so hard it bounces back open again*

(My mother is grocery shopping and sees that an item that she normally cannot afford is on special, so she puts one in her trolley before heading to check out. She notices that the item has rung up as full price.)

Mother: “That price should be [sale price]; it’s on special.”

(The cashier calls for a staff member to go and check the price tag.)

Staff: “The tag says [full price].”

Mother: “I know I saw it at [sale price]; there was a sign.”

Staff: *rolling their eyes* “There’s no sign. It’s full price. You’re just trying to get this for free; it’s not going to work.”

Other Customer: “Uh, excuse me, I was just in the same aisle as this lady when she picked up that. You—” *indicating the staff member* “—were there, too, and as soon as she left you took down the special price and put a new price tag up.”

Staff: “I know I did. It’s not on special anymore.”

(This time the cashier rolled her eyes, apologised to Mum and gave her the item for free. As Mum walked away, she could hear the staff member arguing with her for letting a customer “get their own way.”)