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Mom On A Cold Tin Roof

, , , , | Right | October 12, 2021

My mother has gained her new independence through her divorce and gone back to school. While I am very proud of her, this, unfortunately, fuels her entitled “the customer is always right” attitude into a brand-new weapon and makes her think she knows everything — such as critiquing the WAY someone argues with her by shouting, “THAT’S A FALLACY!” in their face rather than actually listening to their point, or thinking that she knows anything and everything about running a business.

While I was used to this behavior growing up, I’ve started to notice her awful behavior more and more and stopped entertaining it. It’s begun to stress me out to the point that I can’t stand going places with her.

We are at an ice cream place at the mall that mixes ice cream with chosen ingredients in front of you.

Me: “Mom, did you want any ice cream?”

Mom: “Yeah, I want a Tin Roof sundae.”

Me: “I don’t think they have that. This is [Ice Cream Place].”

Mom: “They’re an ice cream place. Of course, they’ll have it. If they don’t, they can give me something like it.”

Me: “Okay, what’s in a Tin Roof sundae? At [Ice Cream Place], they have their own mixtures, or you can pick a flavor and two toppings.”

Mom: “Uh, I don’t know! It’s a common ice cream, like Rocky Road or strawberry! They should know what it is!”

Me:I don’t even know what it is! But if you give me the ingredients, I can have them make whatever is similar for you! They don’t have Tin Roof sundaes!”

Mom: “Well, how do you know? Did you ask?

Me: “I used to come here frequently. They make things a certain way. But fine, I will ask. What do you want me to say if they don’t have it?”

She stares at me. I stare back.

Mom: “Well, if they don’t know what a Tin Roof sundae is, then I don’t want anything from them.”

Me: “Okay, fine.” *Walks away*

Mom: “Do they have chocolate?

Me: “Yes!”

Mom: “Then they should have Tin Roof sundaes!”

I just facepalm and go inside to order. My mom approaches me after I order my ice cream.

Mom: “Did you ask yet?”

Me: “Not yet. It’s kind of busy and I’m trying to let the guy concentrate before I bombard him with more.”

A worker walks up.

Worker: “How can I help you?”

Mom: “Do you have Tin Roof sundaes?”

Worker: “We do not.”

Mom: *Miffed* “Well, do you have anything like it?”

Worker: “Um… you see… I don’t actually know what that is… but if you know what’s in it we can probably make something similar.”

My mom stares at the worker blankly for a solid ten seconds and walks away without another word.

Me: *Embarrassed* “Thank you. She’s good. Never mind.”

Later, when we sit down:

Me: “I told you they wouldn’t know what it is.”

Mom: “Well, that’s because she’s young. You shouldn’t work in an ice cream place if you don’t know your products.”

Me: “Yes, because a teenager working a part-time job is going to magically memorize the details of anything that has to do with the products they sell… Not like they have other things to do or an average memory or anything.”

She didn’t respond and just rolled her eyes. I enjoyed my ice cream in peace.

Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 4

, , , , , | Right | October 1, 2021

Among the things our store offers are ice cream cakes: custom decorated desserts with two-thirds ice cream atop one-third chocolate or vanilla cake.

One scorchingly hot summer afternoon, I call my manager.

Me: “Hey, listen, there’s a woman who wants a refund on her ice cream cake because it melted.”

Manager: “Ugh… That’s one of the few things we really can’t do anything about.”

Me: “Well, she claims she didn’t know it was made with ice cream. She says it’s ‘false advertising’ to call them ‘cakes’.”

Manager: “Despite getting it from an ice cream shop that sells ice cream, with a big display of ice cream cakes, in boxes labeled ‘ice cream cakes’?”

Me: “Don’t forget the five-foot-tall sign showing an ice cream cake cut to show the ice cream and cake within. Also, she had to pick the flavor of ice cream she wanted. Rocky Road.”

Manager: “Ugh. I remember that one.”

Rocky Road is nearly impossible to work with as a cake top, as not only do the nuts make it hard to make smooth, but the marshmallows will push out after being smoothed down.

Manager: “How long did she have it sitting out?”

Me: “According to her, two hours, but…”

Manager: “In this heat?! It wouldn’t have lasted twenty minutes! Thirty tops.”

Me: “Oh, no, no, no… Two hours after driving it up to [Popular Mountain Resort].”

Manager: *Sputtering* “That’s… That’s three hours from here! Five hours! Five hours!

Me: “Yup. You want to be the one to explain thermodynamics to her?”

The customer did not receive a refund.

Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 3
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here, Part 2
Thermodynamics, You Take It From Here

Such A Cone Head

, , | Right | September 9, 2021

A woman enters our shop and checks the flavours and then the prices list.

Customer: “How much is the single cone?”

Me: “$4.00.”

Customer: “Does it come with the ice cream?”

Me: *Pauses* “Usually they do?”

This Sale Is Bananas

, , , | Right | July 27, 2021

We are having a special on our banana splits, which are already popular, and we run out of bananas by Sunday. We are super busy and don’t have time to run to the store to grab extras. I am on drive-thru.

Me: “What can I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “I would like a banana split, please.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we are out of bananas at the moment. Is there something else I can get you?”

The customer audibly huffs and sighs for a few moments.

Customer: “Fine. I guess I’ll get a small hot fudge sundae, then.”

Me: “All right. Your total is [total]. Please pull forward.”

The customer pulls forward and hands me money. As I’m giving her change:

Customer: “I have a question. How can you run out of bananas when you sell bananas?”

We Promise It’s Not As Gross As It Sounds

, , , | Working | July 26, 2021

One day after school, I go to the local ice cream parlor with my friends and we get some milkshakes. After I finish about a quarter of mine, suddenly, I feel something hard coming through the straw. I take it out of my mouth and examine it.

It is yellow, flat, round, and hard. My only association doesn’t seem likely. None of my friends have any idea what it is, either.

I wave over the waitress.

Me: “Sorry, but I found this in my shake. Can you tell me what it is?”

The waitress’s jaw drops as she looks at it.

Waitress: “That can’t be. This looks like a round piece of a smoker’s fingernail.”

Me: “That’s what I thought, too. But I honestly can’t imagine it is.”

Waitress: “Okay. First, you’re getting a new shake, and I’ll try to find out what that is.”

She leaves with the spoon on which I put the yellow piece. It doesn’t take long until she returns, laughing.

Waitress: “I had to ask three people, but we figured it out. We use fresh fruits to make our ice cream, including fresh lemons. Sometimes the lemon kernels have some kind of skin around them that can fall off.”

Me: “So, it’s just the skin of a lemon kernel?”

My friends and I start laughing due to the mundane outcome of this mystery.

Me: “Okay, so everything is fine. I don’t need a new shake, then. Thank you for clearing that up. It just looked so weird at first.”

Waitress: “No problem. I was shocked at first, too. But my colleague already made a new shake for you; I just forgot it inside. And as there is nothing wrong with this one, you can finish it, too. Also, the owner asked me to get you into the kitchen when you’re finished so he can show you that everything is hygienic.”

Me: “Oh, there is really no need for that.”

Waitress: “Too late. Your shake is ready and the owner wants to show you everything.”

She went back inside and got me that second shake. So, I got two shakes and a tour behind the scenes that day. Thank you!