Put A Lid On Your Totally Reasonable Demands!

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I stop at a frozen custard shop to pick up some treats to take home for my family. The shop takes orders and then calls out items as they’re ready. I order three items “to go.” Soon, the employee is at the window calling out one of the items I’ve ordered, but without a lid, so I figure it isn’t mine. Eventually, though, I go to the window.)

Me: “Is that the [item] I ordered?”

Employee: “Did you order [item]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Employee: *tries to hand me the item*

Me: “To go…”

Employee: *looks at me blankly*

Me: “…which means it needs a lid.”

(The employee grabbed a lid, put it on the item, and handed it to me. She then tried to hand me the next two items I’d ordered without lids, too; I had to tell her they also needed them.)

Should Have Put A Lid On That Comment

, , , | Right | September 28, 2017

Me: *while finishing a customer’s order* “And would you like a lid on your ice cream?”

Customer: “Sure. Wait… what does a lid do?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “It just keeps the ice cream in while you’re driving, right? I’m okay, then.”

A Sprinkle Of Unreasonableness

, , , | Right | August 31, 2017

(We have two windows at our ice cream stand. I overhear the first exchange at the other window.)

Customer #1: “These sprinkles are stale!”

Manager: “Actually, ma’am, the sprinkles we serve here are crunchy, not soft. I assure you, they’re fresh.”

Customer #1: “I demand a refund!”

Manager: “Since you’ve already eaten the whole cone, I can’t do that for you. I’m sorry.”

([Customer #1] walks away, seemingly understanding. [Customer #2] is from a completely different party. They seem to be strangers. At my window:)

Customer #2: “I’m sorry, but that’s awful!”

Me: “What?”

Customer #2: “She should have gotten a full refund!” *to her husband* “Isn’t it awful? She said the sprinkles were stale, and they laughed at her!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, our sprinkles are crunchy, not soft, so sometimes people mistake them for being stale.”

Customer #2: “Still! This is awful customer service. She should have gotten a manager.”

Me: *pointing to the manager with whom [Customer #1] spoke* “She is a manager.”

Customer #2: “That’s an outrage! She shouldn’t be a manager.”

(The manager in question has been working our shop for ten years and is phenomenal.)

Customer #2: “I’m taking my business elsewhere! Now, can I get a small vanilla cone dipped in chocolate?”

(I made her the cone and she proceeded to yell at me about the first customer’s mishap for no less than five minutes. I almost burst into tears, and there was a line of over 15 people behind her!)

Living On The Edge

, | | Right | August 24, 2017

Throwback ThursdaysTHROWBACK THURSDAY! Check out this awesome story that you may have missed! What’s a crazy health-related experience you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!

(At an ice cream shop)

Me: “Would you like any mix-ins with that?”

Older woman: “Yes, I would like almonds. But not too many, because I’m allergic, and if I have too many I will die.”

Me: “…”

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Pranking You From The Basement To The Attic

, , , , , | Working | August 12, 2017

(I work for an ice cream parlor with a 1920’s style. It is a fun place to work, but we have our share of pranking. I am leaning on the counter of the main soda fountain.)

Jerk: “Hey, [My Name], don’t lean on the counter! It warps the marble.”

Me: “Oh, BS. No, it doesn’t.”

Jerk: “Sure it does. Look at the surface!”

(He gets his eyes level with the marble counter top so I mimic his behavior to look for myself, but unknown to me he’s armed with a whip-cream can almost on empty so it’s capable of spewing foam like a squirt gun. I got a face full of whipped cream from across the counter. Oh, and “Jerk” is the job title for a soda jerk. Come to think of it, he was just a jerk. Other times we would get a new hire to go hunting in the back room for blueberry topping. Plausible, I suppose, but there was no such thing. One time the rookie managed to get two others helping him look. Sometimes we would send a new guy looking for something in the basement. The restaurant was built on a slab and it was obvious (I certainly didn’t bite when it was tried on me). Eventually the new guy would discover that a basement was impossible. But to complete this prank, you needed a manager’s help. It went a bit like this:)

Employee: “Hey, the manager says to get a box of straw hats from the attic.”

New Hire: “Yeah, right. Pull the other one. I already got taken by the basement gag.”

Employee: “No, seriously, the manager said to get them from the attic.”

New Hire: “Go away!”

Employee: “Suit yourself”

(Shortly after that the manager storms up to the new hire.)

Manager: “You were supposed get hats from the attic.”

New Hire: *stammering* “But there’s no attic!”

Manager: “Come here!”

(The manager leads the employee to a conspicuous chain by the break room and tugs down the ladder. The employee turns red, but never actually gets in trouble. On one of my last days there, late in the year, one other employee (also about to quit) tells me he’s put liquid detergent in the gas tank of the lawnmower. That sucker was never going start. I pitied the poor employee who got the task of trying to start that thing in the spring. The last I checked, lawnmowers don’t run on soap suds.)

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