(I am an assistant manager at an ice cream parlor and a 30-something woman comes in on a slow afternoon with her son. She has ordered an ice cream for each of them and this occurs after I have checked her out and she is putting her change in her purse. It is about 85 degrees Fahrenheit out.)

Customer: “Do you have anything that is warm? It is so cold out today.”

(Keep in mind her son is already happily eating the ice cream she purchased.)

Me: “I have some hot coffee or tea, if you would like.”

Customer: “I can’t give my son coffee! He’s only eight. You can’t give coffee to a child.”

Me: “I’m sorry; those are the only hot items we carry. There is a deli a few doors down that might have some soup or warm sandwiches.”

Customer: “I expected more. I can’t believe you don’t have anything hot!”

(It took me ten minutes of apologizing to get her to leave. She ended up emailing the owner complaining about our poor food selection and customer service. Why did she come into an ice cream parlor if she wanted something hot?)

(My brother’s wife needs to take their daughter to a doctor’s appointment, and I offer to take their son (five years old) out to a museum and ice cream during that time. We agree that she’ll come pick him up at the ice cream parlor when they’re done. My sister-in-law was born and raised in Russia, and has a noticeable accent. This happens at the ice cream parlor after she’s come to pick him up.)

Sister-In-Law: “Thanks so much for bringing him here.”

Me: “No problem.” *to nephew* “See you later. Bye.”

(They leave and then I’m gathering up my stuff to leave as well.)

Girl: *behind the counter* “I know that they need jobs, but I don’t think I’d leave my kids with them, you know?”

Me: “What?”

Girl: “Your nanny. Doesn’t it worry? I mean, human traffic is an issue over there.”

Me: “That was my brother’s wife. And the little boy was her child. He’s my nephew.”

(I wasn’t really sure what else to say, so I just left.)

(I am ringing up a customer and they are handing me their cash, when a college girl walks up next to them to grab a napkin from the empty napkin holder near the register.)

College Girl: *leans over to napkin holder* “Napkin.”

Me: *blank stare at girl*

College Girl: *as she’s leaned over speaking into the empty napkin container* “Napkin.”

(The customer, handing me their cash, blankly stares at the college girl.)

Me: *grabs another napkin container and gives her a napkin*

College Girl: “Oh, I thought it was voice recognition.”

(I work in a very popular ice cream shop, and we are able to do something called fresh-packs, in which we pack fresh ice cream into containers for people to take home.)

Customer: “Hi! Can I please get a small fresh-pack of chocolate ice cream?”

Me: “Sure! I’ll get that for you. Give me just a moment.”

(I packed up the ice cream and was reaching for a lid before she stopped me.)

Customer: “Oh, no, don’t bother with the lid!”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Yeah, don’t bother with the lid. It’s one of THOSE months.”

Me: “Oh, haha, I getcha! Let me get you a spoon.”

(She paid, got her ice cream, sat down, and ate all of it.)

(During the summer our store stays open until 11 pm. Now that summer is ending we are back at our winter hours of closing at 10 pm. My coworker has made announcements at 9:45 and 9:55 that the store is closing. It is now 10:10, we have turned off the outside lights, dimmed the dining room lights, and turned up the music while we clean.)

Coworker: “Uhm, guys, I found some people and they won’t leave.”

Manager: “What?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I went to clean the bathrooms and they are sitting at one of the bars. I told them we were closed but they just said ‘No, you aren’t’ and ignored me.”

(The manager walks around the corner to where the people are sitting.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ladies. We have actually closed for the night so I am going to need you to leave so we can finish mopping.”

Girl #1: “No, you aren’t!”

Girl #2: “Yeah, you guys don’t close till 11! We aren’t leaving.”

Manager: “I’m sorry but we are. Staying open until 11 is something we only do during the summer. We switched back to winter hours last week.”

Girl #2: “Ugh, you’re such a liar. You just want to go home early!”

Girl #1: “Yeah, stop being so lazy! Google says your hours are till 11!”

(Girl #2 pulls out her phone and puts it so close to my manager’s face it is touching her nose.)

Girl #2: “SEE!”

Manager: “No, you two need to leave. Please be careful as we have already started mopping.”

Girl #2: “Make us!”

Manager: “Fine, I’ll call security.”

(Both girls moaned but began picking up their stuff. They made a point to drag it out as long as possible and “missed” the garbage when throwing their ice creams out.)

Related:

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6