We are having a special on our banana splits, which are already popular, and we run out of bananas by Sunday. We are super busy and don’t have time to run to the store to grab extras. I am on drive-thru.

Me: “What can I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “I would like a banana split, please.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we are out of bananas at the moment. Is there something else I can get you?”

The customer audibly huffs and sighs for a few moments.

Customer: “Fine. I guess I’ll get a small hot fudge sundae, then.”

Me: “All right. Your total is [total]. Please pull forward.”

The customer pulls forward and hands me money. As I’m giving her change:

Customer: “I have a question. How can you run out of bananas when you sell bananas?”

One day after school, I go to the local ice cream parlor with my friends and we get some milkshakes. After I finish about a quarter of mine, suddenly, I feel something hard coming through the straw. I take it out of my mouth and examine it.

It is yellow, flat, round, and hard. My only association doesn’t seem likely. None of my friends have any idea what it is, either.

I wave over the waitress.

Me: “Sorry, but I found this in my shake. Can you tell me what it is?”

The waitress’s jaw drops as she looks at it.

Waitress: “That can’t be. This looks like a round piece of a smoker’s fingernail.”

Me: “That’s what I thought, too. But I honestly can’t imagine it is.”

Waitress: “Okay. First, you’re getting a new shake, and I’ll try to find out what that is.”

She leaves with the spoon on which I put the yellow piece. It doesn’t take long until she returns, laughing.

Waitress: “I had to ask three people, but we figured it out. We use fresh fruits to make our ice cream, including fresh lemons. Sometimes the lemon kernels have some kind of skin around them that can fall off.”

Me: “So, it’s just the skin of a lemon kernel?”

My friends and I start laughing due to the mundane outcome of this mystery.

Me: “Okay, so everything is fine. I don’t need a new shake, then. Thank you for clearing that up. It just looked so weird at first.”

Waitress: “No problem. I was shocked at first, too. But my colleague already made a new shake for you; I just forgot it inside. And as there is nothing wrong with this one, you can finish it, too. Also, the owner asked me to get you into the kitchen when you’re finished so he can show you that everything is hygienic.”

Me: “Oh, there is really no need for that.”

Waitress: “Too late. Your shake is ready and the owner wants to show you everything.”

She went back inside and got me that second shake. So, I got two shakes and a tour behind the scenes that day. Thank you!

We are currently in a national change shortage and are asking customers to pay in exact change when possible. 

Customer: “Can I get $3 in quarters so my kids can use the candy machines?”

The candy machines aren’t even a part of our store, just inside the mall.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, we currently don’t have many quarters in the store, so I’m unable to give change at this time.”

Customer: “It’s okay, I’ll just take it from your tip jar.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but please don’t take money out of the tip jar. If there are quarters in there, I genuinely need them for our business. You can maybe try the business next door for quarters.”

Customer: “Fine! Thanks for upsetting my kids.”

Later at close, I counted the tips; we only had two quarters in the tip jar anyway.

A few years ago, I went to visit my best friend from college. We decided to take a nostalgia trip to our alma mater.

First, we visited the Alumni House. We decided to sign up for the alumni program and purchase a couple of sweatshirts from them. We paid cash. The individual staffing the Alumni House counted our change back to us incorrectly; she gave us too much money. We pointed out the error and she recounted it back to us, again incorrectly. We tried one more time. When she did it a third time, we gave up. Before we left, we were given coupons for free double-scoop ice cream cones at the Dairy.

Our next visit was to the bookstore. At the time, I was collecting wine glasses from places I visited. I found one and purchased it. They had only been open for a few minutes when we arrived. I paid for my purchase and the clerk gave me my change. She had not set up her till completely and so the change came out of the bank bag.

Me: “Since I’m traveling, can I have the glass wrapped, please?”

Clerk: “Of course!”

And she went to the back to wrap it for me, leaving the till open and the bank bag sitting on the open drawer. I was stunned but didn’t choose to walk out with the bag or any of its contents.

Finally, we made our way to the Dairy. Their ice cream is famous, and we were really looking forward to our treat. While the coupon was for a free double-scoop, I only wanted a single scoop.

Cashier: *Puzzled* “But the coupon is for a double-scoop.”

Me: “I only want a single scoop.”

Cashier: “Are you sure? The coupon…”

Me: “Okay, how about you put the second scoop in a bowl and you can eat it?”

Cashier: “That’s not possible because the coupon is for a cone.”

I was barely containing my laughter at this point and so was my friend. I finally convinced the cashier that she could give me one scoop and she could give my second scoop for free to the next person that wanted a single scoop.

They say things come in threes. I guess that may be true. All of these at a well-respected university. I doubt I will go back again.

Our place is both a coffee shop and ice cream parlor. A woman pulls into our drive-thru.

Customer: “Hi, can I get a chocolate shake?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we are out of chocolate.”

I readjust my headset real quick, and she has already resumed talking. 

Customer: “…and can I get four chocolate shakes?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are out of chocolate.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Then can I just get a couple of kids’ cones?”

Me: “What flavor?”

Customer: “What flavors do you have?”

I read out four ice creams and a sherbert.

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take chocolate.”

Hnnnnnng!