Won’t Quit Their Tub-Thumping  

(Working as a manager, one of the responsibilities I handle is ordering our ice cream from suppliers. Because of the cost, we have a less than half markup on whole tubs. Since it is so infrequent that entire tubs are requested for purchase, I handle all of those orders personally.)

Employee: “Hey, [My Name], someone wants a whole tub of ice cream, [flavor].”

Me: “Okay, you want to ring up these folks? This is their last cone.”

(We do our well-practiced tap-out to switch customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, I was told you wanted to buy a tub of ice cream?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to order a tub of [flavor]; how much will that be?”

Me: “Well, luckily enough, we have enough extras in stock that we can get you a tub today, or I can—”

Customer: “No, I want you to order one in for me.”

Me: “Well, okay, the soonest it can be in would be—”

(I mentally check the dates, reviewing what my order will look like, and what we will get, and what I can add to the upcoming order.)

Me: “—this Tuesday.”

Customer: “That’s fine. How much will it be?”

Me: “It will be sixty dollars, taxes included, and you can pay at the main—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No, that’s wrong.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “No, it’s not sixty dollars for a tub of ice cream; I’m not stupid! I want you to order me in a tub of ice cream, so I can pay you what it costs.”

Me: “Ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes?”

Me: “We purchase our ice cream as a business, not for personal consumption. So, after our costs, the price is sixty dollars, with taxes included.”

Customer: “Don’t give me that bulls***. Get me your f****** manager so I can order my ice cream.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the department head. I handle all of our ordering, including our ice cream orders. We make exceptions to sell whole tubs, but we buy our ice cream to sell it. So, one tub of [flavor] will cost sixty dollars, and you can make the purchase at the main cash.”

Customer: “No way does a tub of ice cream cost that much, you liar! This is no way to run a business!”

Me: “Ma’am, if we ran our business selling everything at cost, we wouldn’t remain a business for long. Would you like to order your tub of [flavor], or may I return to helping my customers?”

(Luckily, a family who had been waiting patiently caught her eye, the mother and father both glaring at her. Embarrassed, the customer left the parlor to go pay for and get a dated receipt for her order.)