Totally Toothless Parenting

, , , , , | Healthy | January 23, 2018

(I’m a dentistry student. At my university, we work in different services every half-day. Thursday morning is when I work with kids. A dad comes in with his two-year-old. The kid starts crying the moment he sees the dentist chair, and I know I’m not going to be able to do anything on him, because putting rotating metal things in the mouth of an uncooperative and squirmy two-year-old is dangerous for both him and me. In the patient’s file, I see that the dad was supposed to have taken an appointment with a teacher to have his kid sedated. He obviously hasn’t done so, because I’m the one taking care of him. I can’t even get a good look at the kid’s teeth, because he won’t open his mouth and he keeps crying. I tell the dad that he absolutely needs an appointment with sedation, or else we won’t be able to take care of his kid.)

Dad: “But they’re only baby teeth; it doesn’t matter if they have cavities!”

Me: “If the infection gets out of hand, the adult teeth could get infected, as well, and come out black and rotten. Not to mention that the bone could be eaten away by the bacteria.”

Dad: “So, what should I do?”

Me: “I can’t do anything right now with him in this state, but with sedation we could try it. He needs to be on an empty stomach, though.”

Dad: “Why?”

Me: “Because if not, he could throw up and drown himself.”

Dad: “Sure, but I come from [City not even 15 minutes away]; I don’t have time for this!”

(I call my professor to examine the child, and together we manage to put a temporary solution on the kid’s teeth. It involves a lot of crying and screaming, with an uncooperative dad that doesn’t want to hold his child, and keeps interrupting us to “go for a walk in the hallway” with his kid.)

Me: “Well, that should slow the cavities down, but keep brushing his teeth regularly.”

Dad: “Oh, he doesn’t brush his teeth.”

Me: “I know. He’s two; you’re supposed to do it.”

Dad: “Well, I don’t.”

Me: “You’re supposed to. I don’t suppose he dresses himself yet, either, but still, he’s not naked now. Same thing: you’re the one who made him, so you’re the one who should brush his teeth until he’s old enough to do it himself.”

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Skating Around The Answer

, , , , | Right | January 22, 2018

(I work at an ice rink and one of my duties is to pass out ice skates to customers.)

Me: *talking to approaching customer* “Hi, sir! What size skates can I get for you?”

Customer: “I need skates for my son, please.”

Me: “Okay, sure thing. What size is your son?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *pause* “Neither do I.”

(The customer walked off, frustrated.)

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Cancelling Any Attempt At Customer Service

, , , , , | Working | January 20, 2018

(My mom and dad are in the middle of a messy divorce, and to add insult to injury, my dad has moved in with his mistress and is trying to cut all our services: Internet, insurance, etc. So, before that happens, I’m trying to transfer the accounts to my mom’s name so we don’t have to go through the hassle of equipment return and new accounts. I’m working on the Internet service, where this lovely young woman is sympathetic to our situation and is going to switch the names for us; she just needs my mother’s authorization. I ask her, since my mother is busy, if we can call back and have it arranged, and she says it is fine. A phone call later, I have this exchange with this guy.)

Me: “The lady told us we could just call back and get that changed.”

Employee: “I see. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I can sign you up for a new package, though!”

Me: “Oh. I see. Wouldn’t our services be interrupted, though, and our equipment need to be returned?”

Employee: “Yes, that would happen, but I can get you a great deal on cable and Internet—”

(My mom and I aren’t willing to go through all that just for the same service. We already discussed that if they couldn’t do it we might as well look for another, cheaper provider, because the biggest appeal of staying with them is to not have our services interrupted.)

Me: “Well, actually, if that’s the case, I’m afraid we’re just going to have to cancel our current services and go elsewhere.”

Employee: “No, wait a minute. You don’t need to do all that. I’ve got a great deal here for you guys to sign up with a new plan—”

Me: *trying to be polite* “I appreciate your help. Thank you, but all we wanted was to change the name, so if that’s not possible, we’ll just have to cancel. We aren’t really looking to upgrade or anything like that. We’re happy with our current situation and want to keep it. But if we can’t, then we’ll just find something else.”

Employee: “Now you aren’t listening. I can sign you up for another—”

Me: “No. Thank you. But we really don’t want to do all that. We’ll just cancel and find another provider. Thank you, though—”

Employee: “Look, I’m trying to—”

Me: “Sir, if you can’t help us do what we want, then there’s nothing else to discuss.”

Employee: “Fine. But I tried to help you.”

Me: *losing all patience* “No. Actually. You didn’t, really.” *I hang up*

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The Last Jedi Meets The Last Straw

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Over the winter break I went to see the new Star Wars movie with my brother and his fiancée. I was staying with our parents for the break, and my brother and his fiancée live thirty minutes from there so we decided to meet at a theater halfway between those locations. Neither of us had been to it before.

Ten minutes before the movie was to end, three people walked in and sat in a row in front of us. They all took out their cell phones and started checking texts and Facebook, and chatting with each other. It was incredibly distracting. I finally decided to stand up and get a manager to deal with them. On my way back into the theater I leaned over their seats and told them a manager was on the way. They all leapt up like they were on fire. When they turned to face me, I realized they were all in their late teens or early twenties and were wearing uniforms. They worked for the theater.

It turns out they were the cleaning crew. When we exited the theater, they were all standing by the door, looking down at their feet.

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Taking Stock Of Your Laziness

, , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I come out of the back room with my hands full of toys. One of my new employees sees me struggling and comes to help me.)

Me: “Can you stock those walking dogs for me? I have a lot more stuff to bring out.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(I go to the back room to grab more stuff, and when I come out I see him at the front talking to another employee.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast!”

Employee: “Uh-huh.”

(I think nothing of it until an hour later when I go to sign out and see the dogs thrown haphazardly in the corner of the back room. I grab them and storm up the employee.)

Me: “We clearly have a different definition of what ‘stocking’ means.”

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