Unfiltered Story #100012

, | Unfiltered | November 15, 2017

I am the cashier in this story ringing up a customer at a well known local drug store in town where I work. Note, this is the South and it is common for people to use phrases like, “honey and sweetheart” without it meaning anything because that is just the way we talk down here. I am also female and have an engagement ring on my finger.

Me: “Did you find everything alright today sweetheart?”

The customer looks at me like I just sprouted two heads…

Customer(female): “I’m not your sweetheart!”

My coworker is behind her and doesn’t know what to say except choke down a laugh while I’m standing there looking at her like what the hell happened because I am not a lesbian nor was I trying to hit on her.

Me: “I’m sorry mam, I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just the way I talk.”

Customer: “Well you shouldn’t talk to people like that and don’t call me mam either!”

We finished up the transaction hurriedly and in an awkward silence. After she left my coworker and I had a good laugh about it and thought of things we wish the other had said like casually mentioning my fiancée and making it subtly known that said fiancée is male.

It’s About To Become An Even Bigger Deal

, , , , , , , | Right | November 13, 2017

(I am the manager on duty and have just received a call that we need to evacuate due to a gas leak. I am trying to contact my boss and evacuate the customers when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we’ve actually been asked to evacuate due to a gas leak. It will have to wait.”

Customer: “Look, that’s not important. I need you to answer a question for me.”

Me: “No, sir, we have been ordered to evacuate. This is urgent. You need to leave the premises immediately.”

Customer: *getting irate* “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”

Me: *giving up* “It is a big deal, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Which one of these lighters works best?”

Idiot Number One

, , | Healthy | November 7, 2017

(I’m a nurse and am bringing a patient back to do blood pressure, temperature, and a urine check before they see the doctor.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, this is going to be your room, but do you feel as if you could pee in a cup for me real quick?”

Patient: “No, not right now.”

Me: “That all right! I’ll be right back with my blood pressure cuff to check your blood pressure, okay? We can get you some water to drink after that.”

Patient: “Okay, but I really need to pee, and do you need me to save any of it to check for infection?”

Little Brother Owning The Owner

, , , , , | Related | November 2, 2017

(There is a convenience store near our house that is owned by a neighbor of ours. My mom is in one day to get something with my little brother, who is probably about four years old. While Mom’s getting what she needs, the owner comes in, pulls a soda out of the cooler, and heads back out.)

Brother: “HEY! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT!”

(Cue the cashier trying desperately not to have a giggle-fit and my mom trying to sink into the floor.)

Owner: “You’re absolutely right, son. I need to pay for that.” *does so*

Unfiltered Story #98597

, | Unfiltered | October 29, 2017

(Lately, our store has started a “buy one bag, get two cans free” deal on several dog and cat food brands. However, corporate had the brilliant idea of designing all the sales signs so the “buy one” and “get two free” parts were in large, prominent writing, while the “bag” and “cans” parts were in tiny writing. Sure enough, I end up having to deal with all the angry customers as a result.)

Cashier: *paging* “Manager to register one.”

(I rush over and see a lady yelling at my cashier. Meanwhile, her four children are running around the store making an even louder fuss.)

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “The price is wrong on these bags of dog food! It’s supposed to be buy one, get two free!”

Me: “Sorry, it’s actually buy one bag, get two cans free.”

Customer: “NO IT’S NOT! I’m an extreme couponer! I know what I’m talking about! It’s buy one BAG, get two BAGS free! I’ll show you!”

(I let her lead me to one of the sales signs.)

Customer: “SEE? It says RIGHT THERE!”

Me: “It says ‘Buy one bag, get two cans free.’ See?”

(I point at the words “bag” and “cans.” In response, she THROWS her bags of dog food at me and storms out of the store with her children. For some reason, she takes an empty cart out with her and leaves it in the middle of the parking lot when she drives away. Payback, I guess? I can understand being frustrated at the misleading sales signs, but you’d think an “extreme couponer” would have the sense to read the fine print… and also maybe not throw heavy products at people.)

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