You Twin Or Lose

, , , , | Right | November 19, 2018

(It is during my second summer working the supply yard at my high school job. A classmate of mine also worked here last summer, but didn’t return this year. He is about five inches shorter than me, wears glasses, and has a different hair color than I do.)

Customer: “You really have grown a lot since last year.”

Me: “Thank you, sir, but I’m actually the same height I was last summer.”

Customer: “No, you really have gotten a lot bigger, and you got rid of your glasses!”

Me: “I think you have me confused with [Classmate]. He worked with me here last year.”

Customer: “No, I’m sure it was you. You wrote [Shop Owner] that nice note for giving you the job, right?”

(I know he’s talking about my classmate, because his thank-you note is still on the wall in the shop, and I never wrote one myself.)

Me: “No, sir, you’re thinking of [Classmate]. He wrote that note; I didn’t. Plus, he had glasses. I never have.”

Customer: “No, I know it was you! It has to be!”

(This went on for several minutes until my boss finally called me over to a customer. The man was convinced I was my classmate. I guess despite the height difference, hair color, and vision difference, we could be twins!)

Unfiltered Story #127464

, , | Unfiltered | November 16, 2018

I work the front desk at an exterior corridor hotel. I received the following telephone call

Me: “Thank you for calling [hotel], this is [name] speaking how may I help you?”

Guest: “Hi, my husband and I booked a room at your hotel and I would like to request you put us on the ground floor since we have difficulty walking up steps”

Me: “Sure thing, I would be happy to make that change for you. However we do have an elevator so that you would not need to hike up the steps”

Guest: “Oh. But your rooms are on the outside, right?

Me: “Yes ma’am that is correct”

Guest: “Then how could I take the elevator up to my room?”

Me:” ..I’m sorry?”

Guest: “If the rooms are outside,then how would I get to my room from the elevator?”

Me: “The elevator takes you up to the walkways on the 2nd and 3rd floors”

Guest: *intelligible grunt as if she does not understand*

Me: “The elevator is outside, just like the rooms, and it will take you up to the walkways”

Guest: “The elevator is outside? Oh! What a great idea! I’ve never heard of that before! Okay thank you!” *hangs up*

Me: “….”

Powerless To Stop The Hangups

, , , , | Right | November 16, 2018

(I have ordered from a restaurant. They call me back.)

Me: “Hello?”

Employee: “Are you [My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s me.”

Employee: “The two cans of [Brand] soda you ordered, we don’t have anymore. Would you like [Brand #2], [Brand #3]—”

(Suddenly my home phone runs out of battery. I rush to find a new one, and I realize I haven’t charged ANY of my home phones. I slam one into the charger as they call again.)

Employee: “[My Name]?”

Me: “I… I am sorry. My home phone ran out of battery. I’ll take two of [Brand #2] soda.”

Employee: “Are you sure you want your burge—”

(The home phone goes out again, and I answer from the answering machine the next time they call.)

Me: “I’m really sorry; I haven’t charged any of my home phones.”

Employee: “Don’t sweat it; at least you’re not yelling about too much salt on your fries.”

The Only Reaction We’re Having Is Annoyance

, , , , , , | Healthy | November 9, 2018

(I work for a 24-hour emergency vet. It’s about one am; I usually get strange calls at this time of night.)

Client: “Hi. I was putting some flea medication on my dog and I think I’m having a reaction to it.”

Me: *thinking I misheard her* “Oh, he’s having a reaction to it?”

Client: “No, I am! My hands are breaking out, and I think my throat is getting tight.”

Me: “Oh! I’m sorry; you’ve called an animal emergency hospital!”

Client: “I know. You guys know what I need to take to fix it right?”

Me: “No, ma’am, you need to call 911 or go to your local emergency room; we only treat pets here.”

Client: “Well, that’s okay. If you guys treat pets, you know what I can take, right? I really wasn’t planning on going anywhere tonight; just tell me what medication you give to pets and I’ll just take a larger dose of it.”

Me: “Ma’am… I’m sorry, but we can’t give medication advice over the phone for pets, and we definitely can’t for people! You need to call 911 or go to the emergency room!”

Client: “You’re just being no help. Do you have a number I can call a different animal hospital? I don’t have Internet, so I can’t look up anything.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give you another number for an animal hospital that’s open right now, but I would gladly give you directions to the emergency room closest to you! You definitely need to go to a hospital for people if you’re having a reaction, not animal hospitals.”

Client: “Fine, y’all are just no help! You know, you really should give better advice to people when they call; you are a hospital, you know! I guess I’ll just have to go to the hospital down the road and see if they can help me. I’m never calling you again!” *click*

(I was so mind-blown I had to sit and collect myself for a few minutes. She sounded like a normal, middle-aged woman, so I hope it was a prank call, but unfortunately I don’t think it was.)

They’d Love To Be Able To Ditch This Scammer

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2018

(I am helping my friend out at his service business. They are having A LOT of trouble finding a suitable secretary. I used to be a receptionist, office manager, and customer service rep. I have to be at the office with all the other employees before six am. The phone rings:)

Me: “Good morning. [Business]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I am calling to complain. My husband just got run off the road by your service truck! He is in a ditch now!”

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you have the right company?”

Caller: “YES!” *screaming now* “He said he got the name and phone number off of your truck! You better send someone out there right now and pay for the damage!”

Me: “Ma’am, I think you must have the wrong company. There is no way it could have been our truck, because it has not left the parking lot.”

Caller: “Well, it must have, because it ran him off the road only thirty minutes ago.”

Me: “Ma’am, it could not have this morning.”

Caller: “Oh, really? And just how do you intend to prove that to the cops?”

Me: “Quite easily. You see, the truck is parked right outside the window next to my desk, next to my own vehicle.”

Caller: “Maybe it was taken before you got there and then returned.”

Me: “That is not possible, because I have been here for over two hours; plus, the keys for the truck are locked in my desk.”

Caller: “Well, I am just calling you to let you know it was your truck! I expect—”

Me: *interrupting* “Not likely. We have security cameras that have taped evidence to show that the truck has been there since yesterday afternoon when I took the keys from the driver and locked them in my desk. Good day.”

(I hung up. I figured out the woman was just trying to set up a scam to get money. Apparently she had tried it with several companies with trucks driving around town. I’m happy to report that she didn’t get anything but a visit from the cops.)

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