Forever Under 21

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

In Tennessee, the law states that bars are able to allow smoking inside AS LONG AS they are twenty-one-and-up only establishments. I am working in such a bar as a server, during lunchtime, just after opening at 11:00 am. A woman comes in with her child aged one or two years old.

Me: *To my coworker* “Want me to tell her? She looks like she’s heading to my section anyway.”

Coworker: “Nah, I got it.”

My coworker approaches the lady.

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but this is a twenty-one-and-up bar since people are smoking in here. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “But I am twenty-one! I just want lunch!”

Coworker: “Maybe, but she isn’t.” *Motioning towards the child*

Customer: “That’s just stupid! I come here all the time with her!

Coworker: “Not to be disrespectful, but none of my coworkers would allow a child inside and risk us all losing our jobs. I’m asking you to leave, now.”

Customer: “Useless b****. I’m never f****** coming here again!”

She storms out, squealing tires and almost hitting a car as she leaves.

Me: *To my coworker* “Well, that was… interesting.”

Coworker: “Yeah. I’ve only seen her once before. She tried to order alcohol while heavily pregnant. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that and she said the same thing to me.”

By the way, there was a HUGE sign on our door, at eye level, that says, “Patrons must be 21 or older and able to show ID to enter.” So much for reading, I guess?

1 Thumbs
303

How Em-Bra-assing, Part 8

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2021

I work in the box office selling tickets. Two customers approach, both women, one about thirty years older than the other.

Woman #1: “Do y’all have a lost and found?”

Me: “We certainly do. Can you describe the item you’re looking for so I can check?”

Woman #1: *Seeming sheepish* “It’s a bra.”

I stop dead with my hand on the door to go check the logbook.

Me: “Did you say a bra?”

Woman #1: “Yes, I lost it last night in auditorium three.”

Me: “W-Well, let me have a look.”

I bolt into the office and check both the basket of unlogged items as well as the logbook. I also tell my manager what is up, because this is just too weird. Unsurprisingly, I find nothing and return to my register.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have nothing matching that description.”

[Woman #1] then, to my horror, proceeds to remove her bra to show me.

Woman #2: “It’s not a typical bra; it was custom made and very expensive.”

Woman #1: “It looks like this.”

Me: “Yes, I see, but I still did not find any bras.”

The two women bickered about whether or not to go check the theater. I told them there was a movie in progress, but the older woman insisted. They didn’t find it, and they left a phone number by which to contact them if it turned up.

From the sounds of it, the two women were here together last night, and from the looks of it, the older woman was her mother. The whole thing was bizarre.

Related:
How Em-Bra-assing, Part 7
How Em-Bra-assing, Part 6
How Em-Bra-assing, Part 5
How Em-Bra-assing, Part 4
How Em-Bra-assing, Part 3

1 Thumbs
220

Did She Think They Were Faking Competence Before?

, , , , , | Working | January 25, 2021

I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I become close to one of my coworkers at my job at a grocery store and tell her my diagnosis. She suddenly starts treating me differently, like I can’t do anything for myself.

Coworker: “Do you want me to scan that for you? Your coordination probably isn’t good.”

Coworker: “Can you price check this for me? I know that you people are good with numbers.”

One day, she goes too far and I’ve had enough. I decide to tell her exactly how I feel about the way she’s treating me. Here’s what she says:

Coworker: “I know you probably have siblings that are, um, challenged like you.”

Me: “Are you serious, [Coworker]? I’m not mentally challenged; I simply have a social disorder that makes me different! I am not an invalid, and I am not a child, and I don’t like being treated like one. I wish you’d stop that behavior because it’s not helping. It’s insulting.”

Suddenly, I realize that my boss and a customer are only a few feet away. My boss is red in the face. The customer is shocked and then starts laughing.

Customer: “If you write her up, I’ll complain about you!”

My boss later took me aside and asked me what that was about. I told him about how my coworker had been treating me because of my diagnosis. He told me not to shout in front of customers anymore and he wouldn’t write me up. He also had words with my coworker about how to treat other employees. That particular coworker now doesn’t talk to me unless she absolutely has to.

1 Thumbs
450

She Wants A Book And It Is Blue And Blue On De Ting

, , , , | Right | January 25, 2021

I’m working at the customer service desk in a large chain bookstore when a woman approaches the desk.

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

There’s a long pause. I suppress the urge to congratulate her for finding the appropriate store for such a purchase.

Me: “Okay, great! What book are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t remember the title.”

Me: “That’s no problem; lots of people come in without the title, and we can usually find the book they want from other information. Do you know the author?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “How about the subject matter?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Is it fiction or nonfiction?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *Pause* “Do you know what the cover looks like? I do a lot of the shelving, so I might recognize it.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay… Where did you hear about the book? Oprah? NPR? The New York Times? We keep lists of the books they mention.”

Customer: “I heard about it from my sister.”

Me: “Do you know where she found out about it?”

Customer: “No. It was a few years ago.”

Me: “Okay…”

There’s another long pause as I look helplessly at her, having exhausted any possible means of determining what book she’s looking for.

Customer: “So, do you have it?”

1 Thumbs
394

You’ll Go “Clunk” When Your Mom Gets Hold Of You

, , , , , | Legal | January 12, 2021

In the early 1980s when my parents are first married, they are staying in the town my dad grew up in. The town has less than 2,500 people. Everyone knows everyone else, and they’re all related in some way. One night, after having dinner with his parents, they return to the place they are staying to find someone has broken in and stolen most of their things, including my mother’s collapsible pool stick, which is her pride and joy.

They report it to the police, tell his parents, and try to find a way to calm down. Dad suggests they go to the local bar, get a couple of drinks, and maybe ask around about it. As they sit there and talk to some people, Mom hears a very familiar noise. It’s the distinctive “clunk” noise that her pool stick makes when it strikes the cue ball. She gets my dad’s attention and points out the pool table to him.

One of his cousins is playing pool, and the stick he’s using is the one making the “clunk” noise.

Mom: “[Dad], that’s my stick!”

Knowing better than to cause a scene in a bar, my dad went to the payphone… and called his aunt. He told her what had happened and that he thought her son was the one who’d broken into the house. His aunt came down immediately and dragged my dad’s cousin out by the collar of his shirt, screaming up one side and cussing down the other. 

Turns out, he HAD been the one to break into the house, figuring my mom, who was from out of state, would have really valuable stuff to sell. Luckily, he hadn’t had a chance to sell anything, and they got everything back.


This story is part of our Best Of January 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of January 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of January 2021 roundup!

1 Thumbs
701