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Being Colorfully Vague

, , , , | Right | May 9, 2022

I work as a receptionist in a hair salon. As part of my job, I have to book appointments. We have to get detailed information about what the client wants to get done to make sure we book for the appropriate amount of time. This scenario plays out several times a week as I am booking appointments over the phone.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Salon]. How can I help you?”

Client: “I’d like to book an appointment for color.”

Me: “Okay, and color-wise, what are you specifically looking to get done?”

Client: “I want to get my hair colored.”

Me: “Right, but what specific type of color are you wanting?”

Client:Color! I want my hair colored!

Me: “Okay, so highlights, balayage, all over color…?”

Client: “Ugh, highlights.”

I will never understand how people can’t figure out that we need specifics, especially after I ask specifically what they want. It never fails.

AAAAAAAHHHHH, GERMS!

, , , , | Working | April 26, 2022

My husband and I used to go to a mom-and-pop diner at least once a week. After a bad experience with a waitress, we stopped going for a few weeks, but we’ve decided to give it another chance since we had loved it so much before. Normally, we know all of the staff since it’s such a small restaurant, but we don’t know the waitress serving us today.

Waitress: “Can I get you started with something to drink?”

Me: “Diet [drink], please.”

Husband: “A regular [drink] for me, please.”

She goes and gets the drinks and sets them down. She takes our food order and goes back to the kitchen. I take a sip of my drink and realize it’s not diet. I try a sip of my husband’s drink and it’s not diet, either, so we can’t just switch. I catch her attention as she walks by.

Me: “Excuse me? I ordered diet and I think this is regular.”

Waitress: “Oh, here.”

She picks up my husband’s glass and sets it in front of me.

Me: “Er, no, I tried them both and they’re both regular. Could I get a new glass with diet, please?”

Waitress: “Are you sure it’s not diet? I made them myself.”

Then, to my astonishment, she picks up the glass in front of me and drinks from it using the straw my husband and I had both used. Besides the normal level of “ew,” this is during the global health crisis, so I am just floored.

Waitress: “No, that’s definitely diet. Why don’t you try it again?”

I stare at her for a few seconds before I answer.

Me: “Absolutely not!”

Waitress: *Rolls eyes* “Well, I can bring you a new one, but we charge for refills.”

Me: “You’re going to charge me after you drank out of my glass, using my straw?”

Waitress: “Oh, here.”

She hands me a new straw.

Me: “I don’t want to drink out of a glass you drank out of. Actually, you know what, just cancel our order. We’ll just go somewhere else.”

Waitress: “They already started making it.”

Me: “Please just cancel it.”

She rolls her eyes again and walks back to the kitchen. She never comes back out, but a manager does and walks over to our table. Like the waitress, we don’t recognize him.

Manager: “My waitress told me that you want to cancel your order. I won’t charge you for the food, but you need to pay for these drinks.”

Me: “We didn’t even get to drink these. I asked for a diet [drink] and she brought me a regular, and then she drank out of my glass when I complained!”

Manager: “Wait, what?”

We explain again and point out that the drinks have barely been touched. He looks extremely confused, but he apologizes and assures us that he won’t charge us for anything. He even takes our email and promises to inform the owner of what happened. He goes back to the kitchen, and as we’re putting on our coats to leave, we hear yelling.

Manager: “I told you to stop doing that! You told me they yelled at you!”

Waitress: “She did!”

Manager: “Honestly, I wouldn’t blame her! Why would you…”

We didn’t hear the rest as we left, but we got a personal message from the owner a week later apologizing and asking us to return and give them another chance. So far, we haven’t been back, and we probably won’t try it again for a while, if ever.

Getting In Grandma’s Good Graces

, , , , , , | Related | April 7, 2022

My boyfriend is in town visiting me. My grandmother, who lives in a nursing home after several strokes, invites us to have tea with her so she can meet him. After several polite inquiries about his family, what he’s studying in grad school, etc…

Grandmother: “So, you’ve been seeing my granddaughter for how long?”

Boyfriend: “We’ve known each other for almost six months now.”

Grandmother: *Fixing him with a gimlet eye* “What are your intentions?”

Me: “Grandma!”

Boyfriend: “Well, ma’am, I think it may be too soon to have intentions, but I have hopes!” 

He smiles and takes my hand. My grandmother looks at me.

Grandmother: “Oh, he’ll do! Keep him!”

She was his staunchest family supporter from that day forth, and she was able to attend our wedding the following year before she passed away.

Computer Issues Really Suck

, , , , , , , | Working | April 1, 2022

This is a story from a job I had years ago. Our company took PCs and modded them to collect call records from a PBX. One such customer had the PC in his office on a table near the door.

It started having trouble: in the night it would just power down. It’d be down for an hour or two and then come back up. It was happening at pretty much the same time every night.

Our engineers got concerned because they worried that this could start happening with the hundreds of other machines in the field. They tried to replicate the problem. Nothing.

They had the customer send the computer back in for testing. It worked perfectly.

They sent it back. And it started happening again.

So, one night, the customer stayed in his office just to watch the machine and see what happened.

That night, the door opened a crack, a hand reached in… and unplugged it… and plugged in a vacuum cleaner.

Problem solved, and our engineers blew a big sigh of relief.

Oh, Brother! – Part 7

, , , , , | Related | March 27, 2022

My family is getting ready to attend a wedding. The bride has pretty serious social anxiety, so she and the groom have opted for an extremely limited guest list. My younger brother is mad that he can’t bring a plus-one and has been complaining to my parents about it for weeks.

Brother: “It isn’t fair not to let me bring a date! [Name] gets to bring his girlfriend!”

Mother: “For the last time, she is his fiancée and they are the ones getting married!

Related:
Oh, Brother! – Part 6
Oh, Brother!, Part 5
Oh, Brother! – Part 4
Oh, Brother! – Part 3
Oh, Brother! – Part 2