Won’t Lose Sleep Over Losing A Job

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I am a college student, working as a summer cleaner for my former school district along with three other students and the district custodians. I am paired up to work with another girl. Our task mainly consists of scraping gum off the desks and moving said desks out of the classrooms so the custodians can wax the floors. This girl has been known for wandering off and hiding in one of the classrooms so she can sleep while I do all the work. I go to my supervisors about it. A couple of weeks later, we are cleaning the gymnasium, and when I turn around to ask my coworker a question, I notice she is lying on the gym floor, sound asleep and snoring. Right at that moment, my supervisor and the head custodian walk in to check on us and see her sleeping on the floor. Then, they look at me. My supervisor looks irritated because he has caught her many times sleeping on the job after asking her not to, but the head custodian looks amused and smiles. As my supervisor goes over to wake her, the head custodian stops him.)

Head Custodian: “Don’t wake her up; I have an idea. [My Name], go to the supply cart and pretend you’re looking for something.”

(I don’t ask any questions, so I walk over to the supply cart and bend down to get a garbage bag, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk up behind her and start to yell, “FIRE! THERE’S A HUGE FIRE IN THE BUILDING! GET OUT NOW!” My coworker jumps up, startled, and when she sees the head janitor and our supervisor standing in front of her, she goes white in the face.)

Head Custodian: “I think we need to have a little talk, [Coworker]. This has been going on for way too long and is getting out of hand. [My Name], do you think you will be all right by yourself?

(Trying not to laugh, I nod, and my supervisor smiles at me.)

Supervisor: “Poor [My Name] is so used to working by herself by now, and she always does a great job, too. She will be more than fine!”

(As they left, I went back to work and when it was time for lunch, I informed my other two coworkers what happened. When I was about to clock out for the day, my supervisor informed me that they would be bringing in someone from another building to work with me because they had decided to fire my coworker. I worked this summer job for three years, and every year I made sure to warn any of the new employees not to fall asleep on the job, especially when the head custodian was around!)

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Shouldn’t Be The Walking Dead

, , , , , , | Learning | January 19, 2018

(I’m in PE with my two friends and this exchange occurs:)

Friend #1: “I’m a walking corpse.”

Friend #2: *singing in a cheerful voice* “Badabap.”

Me: “Hey, we’re supposed to be running corpses!”

Friend #2: “Oopsie-daisy. At least [Coach] isn’t watching us right now…”

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How To Be A Stain In The Neck

, , , , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I always go to one particular local dry cleaner, because it’s run by an older lady with an amazing personality, and I often get into hilarious conversations with her when I drop off clothes. This is a story she relates to me about some of her other customers.)

Customer: *over the phone* “Yes, hello. How do I get this stain out of my shirt?”

Cleaner: “Well, if you bring the shirt in, I would be happy to clean it for you.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t need you bring it in; it’s just the one stain, so you can just tell me how to clean it.”

Cleaner: *thinking, “that’s not how a dry cleaner works”* “Okay, I’ll try… What kind of fabric is the shirt?”

Customer: *impatient sigh* “It’s my favorite dress shirt!”

Cleaner: “Uh, okay… What kind of stain is it?”

Customer: “You’re supposed to be the expert, here! Why can’t you tell me anything?!”

Cleaner: “I just need to know—”

Customer: “No! I’m the one asking the questions, here! What is your problem?!”

Cleaner: “The problem is that I just don’t know how you expect me to see your shirt down the phone. Good luck with your stain!”

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Very Bad Reception, Part 21

, , , , | Healthy | January 18, 2018

(There is a small medical clinic where I live. Usually, for walk-in patients, you get to the door very early, wait until they open it, then head for the desk, where you are assigned an appointment time for the day depending on the order of arrival. Usually, people behave and do not jump forward. Rarely, but sometimes, the clinic isn’t full, and going in mid-morning, you might still get a spot. It’s about 11, and I feel I might have a feminine infection. I stop by the clinic to see if there’s room.)

Secretary: “I’m sorry. There’s a new phone system in place. Now you have to call in the morning and leave your name and phone number. Someone will call you back with the time of your appointment.”

Me: “Well, I’m right here. Can’t you just give me a time?”

Secretary: “No, you have to call.”

Me: “Okay, fine.”

(I make two steps to the side, pick up my cellphone, take the card she gave me with the phone number, and start dialing. The secretary looks at me.)

Secretary: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Calling for an appointment. You said I absolutely had to call.”

Secretary: “Ugh… Okay, I’ll give you one.”

(I believe she suddenly realized that I would have left my info on the answering machine, that she would have listen to it, then call me back with the time, all while I was standing in front of her.)

Very Bad Reception, Part 20
Very Bad Reception, Part 19
Very Bad Reception, Part 18

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Any Caption Added To This Situation Won’t Be A Good One

, , , | Working | January 18, 2018

(I work for a closed-captioning company. The vast majority of our captioners work remotely from home, so we communicate with them primarily via phone. For many programs, the client likes to do a captions test — sending out a few practice lines — before the actual show starts, so that we know everything is running smoothly and that captions will appear at the start of the program. On this particular day, a client, who is known for calling rather early to test, calls a full 29 minutes before their scheduled show, which is VERY early. I’m not entirely sure my captioner will be ready to test yet, so I call her.)

Me: “Hi, [Captioner], it’s [My Name]. I know it’s still quite early, but [Client] has called to test for [Scheduled Program]. Are you ready to go now, or do you need a few minutes?

Captioner: “I still need a few minutes.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll let them know. Just give us a call back when you’re all set.”

(I inform the client that the captioner still needs several minutes to set up. They are agreeable about it, and we hang up. Almost 15 minutes goes by. The client has called again and spoken to another coworker to see if we are ready, and I still have not heard from my captioner. The coworker who took the call has managed to stall our client, but I am getting concerned, as they are an important client and can be very particular about tests. Additionally, my captioner has not “checked in” to a program we use that lets us know they are ready for each job assignment. I call her again.)

Captioner: *with slight annoyance* “Hello?”

Me: “Hi again, [Captioner]. [Client] is on the other line wanting to test. Are you ready to go yet?”

Captioner: *in a very annoyed tone* “No! I’m not home! I had to go sign papers for my mortgage, and I’m still at least five minutes away!”

(I was shocked. Not only is that unacceptable, but she didn’t tell me that the first time we spoke! I put her on hold so I could speak to our schedulers, who assign jobs to captioners, and I informed them of the situation. During all this, the client called several more times and spoke to several more coworkers who were all trying various ways to mitigate the situation without outright telling them how irresponsible our captioner was being. The schedulers, angry and knowing how important this client was, decided to instead contact a captioner who was essentially “on-call” for last-minute emergencies just like this. They called her to set her up, and SHE wasn’t home, either! Both captioners were told to call when they got home, and whoever called first would cover the show. The on-call captioner “won,” and we tested successfully with only a minute to spare. What an unnecessary headache.)

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