Has No Notion Of Drinking Your Potion

, , , , , | Right | March 27, 2020

(This was overheard in Diagon Alley at Universal Studios:)

Customer: “Hi! I just need a bottle of water.”

Employee: “Of course!”

(He pulls out a bottle of water. It’s labeled “Gilly Water,” like in the Harry Potter books, since we are in the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Gilly Water is just regular water, but it just has a different label.)

Customer: “A regular bottle of water, please.”

Employee: “Ma’am, this is regular water. The label is just different.”

Customer: “I want real water!”

Employee: “I don’t know what else to tell you. This is regular water and you’re holding up the line. You can get a different bottle somewhere else that’s not over here.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(She stormed off to the nearest restaurant. Little did she know, that restaurant also had Gilly Water!)

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I, For One, Like Roman Numerals

, , , , , | Learning | March 18, 2020

(On my senior trip to an amusement park, due to the fact it’s a school-related trip, we have to do something educational before having free reign. The last thing we do of our educational part involves a math problem where we’re to only use roman numerals — no 1 or 5, it has to be I or V. We’re also not given a key for keeping the numerals straight, so I decide to use a loophole and scribble my own key “I: one,” “V: five,” and so on since they never said we couldn’t do it that way.)

Staff Member: *looking at my paper, pointing at my key* “What’re those scribbles?”

Me: *jokingly, though I admit my tone may have been unclear* “What? You don’t doodle when you think?”

Staff Member: *leans in* “Don’t be a smarta**.”

(To be honest, it’s probably one of my favorite memories of the trip.)

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Unfiltered Story #189083

, , | Unfiltered | March 13, 2020

I work at the toll booths of an amusement park that has several Sister parks/attractions in the town and in different states. Employees of the sister attractions get in for free as long as they bring a current employee ID and/or recent check stub. I’ve just had a couple pull up that say they work for one of our sister attractions, but don’t have anything to prove it. While the boyfriend has a check stub, it is not for any of our companies and the girlfriend is not happy. We have gone back and forth for a bit.

Girlfriend: I can’t find my ID but he has his check stub. Why won’t that work?

Me: Because is says [other company]. I need something that shows you work for [sister company] such as your employee ID or [sister company] check stub.

Girlfriend: Unbelievable! Fine I’ll just pay. It’s [amount]?

Me: No it’s [slightly higher amount]

Girlfriend: This is un-freaking-believable! (she hands me the money) I’m GOING to tell them that you me pay!

I just shrug, hand her the receipt, and tell her to have a nice day as they drive off.

Coworker: Yeah, like it’s really your fault she didn’t bring anything to prove that she actually works there.

I couldn’t help but laugh as things like this happen far too often.

Driving Lessons For Kids

, , , , , , | Related | March 3, 2020

My wife, my sister-in-law, my young son, my young nephew, and I were at an amusement park that’s geared to the younger set. My nephew is nine months older than my son, but they were both about five or six years old. They were about to get on the bumper cars.

There was a big sign about safety so I yelled out to my son, “[Son], no head-on collisions… so just T-bone [Nephew].” My sister-in-law laughed and then scolded me.

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They Parked On Using Their Children For Parking

, , , , , | Right | March 3, 2020

(I work at a farm park — halfway between a petting zoo and a theme park, centred around farm animals. During busy times, staff go out into the car park to direct traffic and make sure customers aren’t parking incorrectly. It is a particularly busy day, and we’ve moved to our overflow car park, which is a little removed from the entrance, but no more than two minutes’ walk. A woman drives up to me and I direct her into the overflow park, but she doesn’t stop, and instead pulls up by me and winds down her window.)

Customer: “Is there not anywhere closer? I’ve got my little girl with me.”

(For reference, the park is aimed at two- to eight-year-olds. Everyone has their children with them.)

Me: “I’m afraid not, madam. It’s an incredibly busy day for us, and we’ve filled our two main car parks already.” 

Customer: *craning her neck to look past me as if I’m hiding something* “There must be somewhere. We can’t walk this far; she’s only three!”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. It’s a busy day.”

Customer: “Do you have disabled parking?”

Me: “Yes, for blue badge holders.”

Customer: “My daughter is three! There must be somewhere nearer. I’m going to have a look.”

(She drove away. Five minutes later, she was driving out of the park, looking mildly confused. I got called onto my lunch break around that point so, luckily, I didn’t have to face her coming back round. I’m not sure what she thought I was doing — trying to hide the best spaces for some reason?)

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