The Wildest Ride Is Before The Ride

, , , , | Right | February 20, 2019

(I am pregnant, and I am working still; I work in a play area for children. Sometimes parents are not the most understanding people.)

Me: *just coming back from the bathroom for the eighth time*

Customer: “My boys have been waiting for this ride; you need to stop leaving. It’s your job to man this ride.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Okay, let me check your height, sweetie.”

(I direct him towards the height requirement, and he’s a couple inches too short; I don’t count hair.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. You’re too small for this ride.”

(The child begins to argue, but the brother, who is clearly tall enough, goes on.)

Customer: “He’s not that small; just let him on.” *starts to get irritated, crossing their arms, and giving off angry body language*

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t let him ride for safety reasons”

Customer: “It’s fine; I’m okay with it.”

(The customer then tries to usher the smaller child on the ride. I hold out my arm to stop the child.)

Me: *feels a pain, so I suck in and my eyes widen* “I’m sorry, but I cannot let him on.”

(The customer glares, then grabs the boys and storms off in a huff. The manager walks over to the ride when I get back from another pee break.)

Manager: *looks at me with a smirk* “She tried to let the kid on when you were gone, then threatened to sue us.”

The Only Worthy Reason To Become A Police Officer

, , , , , | Legal | February 8, 2019

Guest: “Are you security here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, how may I help you?”

Guest: “There’s a car blocking the street and I can’t get through to the exit.”

Me: “Ma’am… um… that’s a police car, and they can park wherever they want. All you need to d…”

Guest: “Well, if he can park there, why can’t I?”

Me: “Because you’re not a law enforcement officer on official business, ma’am. Now, to exit, you just tu…”

Guest: “How do I get to be a cop so I can park in the street?”

Me: “Contact your local police department, ma’am; they’ll give you details. Just turn left, drive to the end of the row, and turn right; takes you straight to the exit.”

Your Complaints Are Weightless

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2019

(I am working at a popular amusement park. We have this one big roller coaster that has lots of big hills designed to make the rider feel weightless. After riding this roller coaster with his daughter, an elderly man comes up to me.)

Me: “Hello! How was your ride on [Roller Coaster]?”

Guest: “Horrible, actually!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What can we do better?”

Guest: “Tear down the [Roller Coaster]!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guest: “It needs to be torn down because it is super unsafe!”

Me: “We have licensed inspectors from the State of Missouri inspect each of our rides every month, and we inspect our rides daily.”

Guest: “You need better inspectors, then!”

Me: “And why is that?”

Guest: “Because my daughter and I almost flew out of the ride!”

(By this point, the daughter, who is about fifteen, is walking down the exit line.)

Daughter: “Come on, Dad! Let’s go.”

Guest: “Hold on! I’m talking to this little s*** over here.”

Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

Guest: “What the f*** is it?!”

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave the ride.”

Guest: “No! I want to speak to your manager.”

Me: “I’ll go get him. Please wait here to the side of the loading platform of the roller coaster.”

(A conversation goes on between the man and his daughter. The other two ride operators are busy loading the next group of riders into the roller coaster. I take a notepad and a pen from the ride operator’s backpack and go back to the angry guest.)

Me: “I just called the manager.” *I really didn’t* “He wants me to write down some information for you to file a complaint.”

Guest: “I have a complaint to file, all right!”

Me: “What is your name?”

Guest: “[Guest].”

Me: “And what is it you wanted to file a complaint about?”

Guest: “The [Roller Coaster] is super dangerous and needs to be torn down.”

Me: “I can assure you that all of our rides here at [Amusement Park] are completely safe. But why do you feel that [Roller Coaster] violated our policy?”

Guest: “I almost flew out of my seat during that big hill!”

Me: “You know it is supposed to make you feel like that, right? They’re called ‘airtime hills’ and they are designed to make the rider feel weightless.”

Guest: “Wait. What?”

Me: “The [Roller Coaster] has specially designed hills, called ‘airtime hills.’ They are designed to make the rider feel like they are ‘floating’ out of their seat. Each seat is equipped with both seat belts and lap bar restraints, and we have never had a malfunction with the [Roller Coaster]’s restraint systems.”

Guest: “Oh. So… it is supposed to be like that?”

Me: “Yes. The manufacturer of [Roller Coaster] built the track layout specifically for that purpose.”

Guest: “Oh, s***. My bad. I didn’t know. I thought that it was unsafe. I don’t like that ‘floating’ feeling.”

Me: “It’s okay. It is actually a pretty common complaint us ride operators get.”

Guest: “Oh. Thanks for understanding. Can you tell us any rides that don’t have that scary ‘floating’ feeling?”

(I look around the ride platform because you can see some of the other rides from there.)

Me: “I can recommend the [Ride]. It is pretty calm and gentle in nature.”

Guest: “What does it do?”

Me: “It is a river raft ride where you float around the river in small boats.”

Guest: “Okay. And it completely safe?”

Me: “One hundred percent.”

Guest: “Okay.”

(He then walked off with his daughter. Some people are just super dumb.)

Unfiltered Story #139367

, , | Unfiltered | February 6, 2019

As part of my job as a lifeguard, my coworkers and I must clean the locker rooms after the last person has left at closing. This occurs during the last two weeks of the summer, when many of our workers have returned to college. Due to being short-staffed, we have reduced the hours of the park for the last two weeks. We have put up signs stating this EVERYWHERE, and have made announcements about it over the PA no less than seven times in the hour before closing. When we close, the locker rooms close as well, meaning patrons must be walking out of the park at that time. At closing time on this day, there are still many people refusing to even exit the water. Once we get them out of the pools, they proceed to go into the locker rooms and start showering. I am told to go in and start telling people to leave.

Me: Excuse me, but the park has been closed for fifteen minutes now. Please start collecting your things so that you can exit the park.

Woman: How dare you?! I had no idea you guys were closing early, and now you won’t even let me shower?

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, but there were signs posted all over the park, and we made several announcements. I need you to start finishing up.

Woman: I got no notice whatsoever that you had changed your hours. You need to put up signs or make an announcement or something.

Me: Well, ma’am, like I just said, we posted signs all over the park and made several announcements. Please finish your shower.

Woman: (makes no move to finish up) I will have you know that I came from (city a few hours from here) and I was expecting a full day! You need to tell your managers to put up signs or something!

Me: But…

Me: …

Me: I’ll go do that right now…

I went into the main office and told my managers that the woman wanted more signs.

Manager: Where, on our faces?!

I later found out that the woman continued to complain for a good ten more minutes about how there had been no signs. The last person left the park after a half hour, making me stay to clean until an hour and a half after closing!

Unfiltered Story #137151

, , | Unfiltered | January 24, 2019

(I used to work at a theme park. We have this system where if you have someone in your party with a handicap, you get a special handicap pass that lets you go through the exits and to the front, essentially cutting everyone in line. The guest services department writes the number of people in the party on their card, and we are only allowed to let the specific number of people on the card)

Me: Hi guys, how many are riding today?

Customer: We have 11.

*look at the card, card says 7*

Me: Ok ma’am, unfortunately I am only allowed to let 7 of you on this ride, since the card only has 7 on it.

*overhear one of their kids say to another “I told you they were going to notice” *

Customer: What do you mean? We have 11. Just let us on.

Me: Ma’am, I am not allowed to do that. I can only let on the number of people that is on the card.

Customer: Well, obviously you don’t know how to do your job well, and you’re holding up the line, so just let us on

*I explain the same rule to the three adults multiple times, every time ending with them saying expletives and accusing me of being racist (after I had just let another group of the same race on before them), meanwhile I explain the safety rules of the ride to the kids, all of which were extremely cooperative and nice to me. The group consisted of 3 adults and 8 kids, so all of the kids except one went on, the one who didn’t was older and said she didn’t really want to ride anyway*

Customer: *grabs the one that didn’t go on, who genuinely doesn’t care and has a look of annoyance on her face for the adult* look at her! she is devastated! Are you really going to tell me you won’t let her go on the ride? Is that what kind of person you are?

*This went on the entire duration their kids were on the ride, with them trying to convince everyone in line that I was a racist and hated their children. When the kids came back, they were all very polite, thanked me for the ride, and one even apologized to me. The main woman said she was going to report me. She never did.*

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