Final Destination: The Ride

, , , , | Right | May 22, 2020

One of the more popular rides in the theme park where I work has been closed for a considerable amount of time due to maintenance issues. 

Customer: “So, we can’t ride [Roller Coaster] today?”

Me: “Not unless you wish to die.”

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The Cold Truth Is Yours Can’t Be

, , , , , | Right | May 18, 2020

At our restaurant in the amusement park where I work, there are glass-doored refrigerators that hold cold drinks for our guests to buy. I’m working as the cashier and two teenage boys run in with large plastic water bottles.

Boy: “Can I put these water bottles in the coolers for a bit while we go on rides?”

I blink a couple of times, processing what I just heard.

Me: “Umm… no, sorry. The coolers are for keeping our merchandise cold for our customers.”

Boy: “Don’t you have a marker or something? I can write ‘Not for Sale’ on them.”

Me: “I still can’t do that; customers accidentally buying your drinks isn’t the problem. We can’t hold personal drinks in them for safety reasons.”

Boy: “Come on! We just want our water to be cold.”

Me: “Well, I can give you ice for 25 cents.”

Boy: “Are you kidding me? I don’t have that much!”

And with that, they run out of the restaurant with their warm water. I walk back to see my coworkers.

Me: “Did that really just happen?”

Manager: “I think it just did. At least you handled it well!”

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The Weight Of The Wait Is Imaginary

, , | Right | May 17, 2020

I work at a theme park and I’m on the clock at the most popular ride we have. It was meant as a training device originally, so only one person can use it. There’s a queue of about three and there are labels everywhere stating that everyone gets five minutes on the ride. The current kid is on her second minute when a mom walks up to me.

Mother: “Does everyone really have five minutes?”

Me: “Yes, they do.”

Mother: “Can you let us go before everyone else?”

Me: “No, unfortunately, I can’t. You have to wait in the line.”

Mother: “But my son has been waiting for half an hour! He can’t wait and is crying!”

They showed up ten minutes ago, max. I look at the child; he’s around ten and calmly doing God knows what on his smartphone, slouched on the nearest sofa available for waiting. No tears visible.

Me: “Still no.”

The mother leaves for a few minutes. She goes to our shift manager and asks her the same thing. The manager has been here for the past eight years and does not like idiot customers She also says no. The mom eventually returns.

Mother: “But can’t you reduce everyone else’s time before us? Give them less than five minutes!”

Me: “Not happening, no. One last time: you need to wait for your turn.”

Eventually, the kid’s turn came around. He was stiff as a rock and clearly not enjoying the ride. He didn’t follow any of my suggestions and could definitely have had more fun if he’d loosened up. I think I know why the mum wanted extra time.

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The Classic Track Got Derailed Pretty Quickly

, , , | Right | May 13, 2020

I work at a go-kart track. I just started my shift and a lady is my first customer. I always ask customers if they plan on doing more than one activity since they can get package deals and save money.

Customer: “I would like two for the classic track.”

Me: “Okay, is that all you plan on doing?”

Customer: “I don’t know, why?”

Me: “We have multiple ride package deals to save money that are displayed here.”

I point to the giant flat-screen above me and the sign printed on the counter. The customer was nice but suddenly becomes furious.

Customer: “Why wasn’t I told this before?! Can I get the discount now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we can’t do that; the package can’t apply to previous purchases. I’m sorry if someone else didn’t mention them, but they displayed.”

Customer: “Fine! Whatever, you guys are f****** terrible salespeople.”

I give her the two tickets and have her sign for her card payment. There is usually always a pen on the counter. 

Customer: “Um, I need a pen to sign for this! You must be their f****** star employee here! I bet you get employee of the month all the d*** time!”

Me: “Yes, I do! Thank you for appreciating my hard work!”

The customer scoffs and leaves. 

Coworker: “What was up with her? She was so nice when I helped her.”

Me: “…”

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Family Paints A Bad Picture Of Itself

, , , , , , | Right | May 12, 2020

I paint faces at a theme park geared toward younger children. It’s 100+ degrees outside and I brought a drink in with me so that I could have a cup to drink water from our stand cooler.

A woman with three children comes up to the stand. One child is in a stroller while the other two, a boy and a girl, are following behind her. The girl is wearing a button from a prominent children’s group stating that she’s from New Jersey.

Me: “Hello! What can I do for you today?”

The customer points at a button on her daughter’s shirt.

Customer: “Does she get a discount for this?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t, but I can make your face paint extra special.”

The customer acts a bit offended but gets her daughter in the chair, and I do a free upgrade on the design. As soon as I’m done, she places her son in the chair and proceeds to let the girl run around and trash my stand while I paint his face. I say nothing but get the paint done rather quickly. The boy jumps down and joins his sister in messing up the stand.

Me: “Okay, ma’am, is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: *Sounding agitated* “How much do I owe you?”

I ring her up and give her the total. As I’m handing her the change, she screams.

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! THAT IS DISGUSTING! WHO’S IS THAT?!”

I look to see that her son has gotten into the storage area for our personal items, taken out my drink, and finished half of it.

Me: *Calmly* “Um, that’s actually mine.”

The customer turns an angry glare on me.

Customer: “It’s yours? Too bad.”

Me: “Ma’am, that was the only way for me to get any water today.”

Customer: “Oh, well. Come on kids!”

She grabbed her children and pushed the stroller away, leaving me to clean up the mess left by her children… including throwing away my half-consumed drink.

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