What A Bloody Fiasco!

, , , , | Healthy | January 8, 2018

My mom is having some blood tests done. The technician takes the sample and has my mom put pressure on her arm for a few minutes. Mom then puts on her coat, leaves the office, and heads for the elevator.

When the elevator arrives, the woman inside looks at my mom and shouts, “LADY!” Mom looks down and sees blood running down her arm and hand.

She goes back to the doctor’s office, where the staff bandage her arm, clean her coat as best they can, and make her wait half an hour to make sure she’s OK before sending her home.

The next morning, she gets a call from the doctor’s office. “Could you come in again today? The driver who came to pick up the samples yesterday dropped and broke them all.”

Naming The American Way

, , , , , , , | Learning | January 2, 2018

(I managed to earn a scholarship to a small, highly-rated private high school a little over an hour away from where I live, in a MUCH wealthier area. The community is very welcoming, but there are a few small differences in culture and attitude that sometimes leave me a little confused. I discover one of these when a foreign exchange student transfers into my small, tight-knit English class and we all introduce ourselves.)

Me: “Hi! My name’s [My Name]. It’s really nice to meet you!”

Teacher: “Wait, [My Name]? I thought you preferred [Variation of My Name].”

Me: “I don’t really have a preference. I usually just go by [My Name], since it’s what’s on all my important documents and such. But as long as I know you’re talking to me, you can pretty much call me whatever variation you want.”

Classmate #1: “Is that why you never correct your partner in engineering class when he calls you [Yet Another Variation of My Name]? I tried to correct him once, but he said that was how you introduced yourself to him, so he wasn’t going to change.”

Teacher: “Seriously?! Has everybody been calling you the wrong name this whole time? And you never said anything?! Addressing someone by their preferred name is a sign of respect! We can’t do that if you don’t let people know they’re using the wrong one!”

Me: “Really? I guess I never really saw it that way. People around me growing up pretty much just used names to refer to someone or get their attention, but not really out of respect. I guess this explains why people around here call people by name so often, even when it’s already obvious who you’re referring to.”

Classmate #1: “Well, it definitely explains why you never seem to use names in conversation. And if you only use names out of necessity, not as a matter of respect, then I guess it wouldn’t matter so much if people use the wrong one.”

Teacher: “Hm. Well, that was educational. So, it’s cool if we keep calling you [Variation of My Name]?”

Me: “Yeah, totally fine. So, back to introducing [Foreign Exchange Student]. Enjoying classes here so far?”

Foreign Exchange Student: “Yes, but I’ve been in this class all of twenty minutes and I’m already confused. Should I use first names often? Avoid using them? Which one is more accepted throughout America?”

Classmate #2: “Heck if any of us would know. I’d say, if you remember someone’s name, use it. If you don’t, mumble something close and hope for the best. Or, maybe just ask their name again.”

Teacher: “Yeah, if teaching the kids from [City I Grew Up In] has taught me anything, it’s that even Americans don’t totally agree on the finer points of culture and etiquette. Seems like you’re better off just going with the flow wherever possible.”

Foreign Exchange Student: “That… doesn’t actually sound like very helpful advice.”

Classmate #1: “Brace yourself, dude. American culture only gets more vague and weird from there.”

What A Female Dog!

, , , , , , , , | Learning | November 21, 2017

I went to a Catholic school, and in sixth and seventh grade I had a religion teacher who was nice enough, but a bit strict when it came to religious beliefs. One day, she told us a story about a young student whose dog had died the previous night. He told her about it while crying, and ended it by saying, “At least I’ll see him in Heaven.”

Her response? “Dogs don’t go to Heaven. Heaven is only for those with souls, and animals don’t have souls.” Cue a renewed bout of crying.

She told us this story to highlight the idea that his parents should have told him the truth, rather than let him falsely believe something that wasn’t true. Even then, I found it a bit cruel to tell a grieving eight-year-old that they’ll never see their beloved pet again, and I found it difficult to believe that animals have no souls. Today, I attribute a lot of my experiences at that school to my current semi-agnostic stance on religion.

Unfiltered Story #99998

, , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2017

(I can feel a sinus infection coming on and my doctor is scheduled out three weeks. Next morning, sure enough – I can’t breathe through my nose and I feel like there’s a brick sitting on my face. I break down and go to a clinic rather than spend two weeks miserable.)
Nurse: What seems to be the issue?
Me: I think I have a sinus infection. My face hurts and I can’t breathe through my nose.
Nurse: Any fever, nausea, vomiting?
Me: No, nothing like that. I’ve been coughing a bit today, but only when I got up. I think that’s just sinus drainage.
Nurse: When you have a fever with coughing and vomiting, that’s the flu. You should go to bed and keep hydrated.
Me: I have no fever and I haven’t thrown up. I have a minor cough, but again, I think that’s sinus drainage, as it only lasted for a few minutes after I got up.
Nurse: The flu is very common right now, and there’s nothing I can really prescribe for it but hydration and rest. Here’s a prescription to ease your coughing, so there’s no more vomiting. If your fever spikes, you may need to come back in. Is there anything else?
Me: …….
(I threw the prescription away. I had the thought as I left of some poor person hobbling in there with a broken ankle and being told It’s the flu.)

On The Need For Hazard Apple Pay

, , , , , | Right | November 10, 2017

(We have the card readers that you can tap your card on, or use a peer-to-peer payment app from your smartphone.)

Customer: *noticing card reader* “Oh! Does [Payment App] work on this?”

Me: “It works most of the time.”

Customer: *successfully uses card reader* “Ooooh! That was amazing. It gave me the tingles. Was it good for you?”

Me: *moves back from counter* “Thanks for coming in. Have a great day.”

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