(I have just had my first child and am visiting my parent’s place. My brother’s friend and his wife are also visiting.)
Friend: “Hi, [My Name], I heard you had a baby.”
(I show my daughter to him.)
Friend: “Ooh, she’s tiny. What did you call her?”
Me: “Her name is Cassandra.”
Friend: “What sort of name is that? I hate these modern made-up names. Just because you can make up a name, it doesn’t mean you should be able to use it. You should just give her a traditional name, a name that’s been around for years.”
Me: “Three thousand years isn’t long enough for you?”
Friend: “Yeah, sure, three thousand years. How come I’ve never heard of it?”
Me: “Ever heard of the Trojan wars? Helen of Troy?”
Friend: “Of course I have, but what’s that got to do with what you named your daughter?”
Me: “Cassandra was Paris’s sister; it’s a Greek name.”
Friend: “But Paris is in France; why would it have a sister, and why would you choose a [racial slur] name?”
(I am speechless. Just then his wife comes up to us.)
Wife: “Oh, for God’s sake, [Friend], will you stop being a f****** s***head?! Cassandra is a lovely name. Sorry about that [My Name]; I’ll take my idiot of a husband home.”
Friend: “But it’s not a real name.”
Wife: *dragging him out the door and screaming at him* “WILL YOU JUST SHUT THE F*** UP?!”