Natural Selection In Action, Part 3

, , , | Right | September 11, 2008

(I work at a historic fort and am dressed as soldier from the 1800s. I help tourists find their way around.)

Tourist: “Oooh, is that a real gun?”

Me: “Yes, it is; it was made in 1865.”

Tourist: “Oooh, does it still work?”

Me: “Yes, it does!”

Tourist: “Can I get a picture of you pointing it at me?”


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Che Guevara, Rapping Revolutionary

, , | Friendly Right | August 27, 2008

(I overheard this in a comic book store in a trendy area of town.)

Teenager #1: *points to t-shirt of Che Guevara* “Hey, look, it’s the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine!”

Teenager #2: “I am totally buying one!”

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She Wouldn’t Last A Minute In 1478

, , | Right | August 27, 2008

(A lady and her husband purchase a few items and proceed to pay with a debit card on a card reader. After scanning her card she stands there looking at it.)

Me: “You just need to enter your PIN here and press enter.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “Do you want cash back?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, then just press ‘no’ on the card reader.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “Now, it’s asking you to confirm the total.”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD! So many f***ing questions! What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?”

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… And We Wonder Why Everyone Hates Us, Part Two

, , | Right | August 7, 2008

Customer: “I’m looking for something that ain’t made in China. This one says made in EU… what’s that mean?”

Me: “It means it’s made in the European Union.”

Customer: “Billy! Billy come quick! This lady says Europe’s a union now!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it means…”

Billy: “Europe united? ”

Me: “Sir, the European Union is…”

Billy: “‘Bout g*d**n time. It was them d*** countries that started the war!”

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When Not In Rome…

, , , | Right | July 23, 2008

(A customer comes in looking for a specific FM transmitter. I point him in the right direction and he comes back five minutes later with the device in hand.)

Me: “Found it all right?”

Customer: “Yup. I came, I saw, I conquered.”

Me: “Veni, vidi, vici?”

Customer: “What the h*** did you just call me?!”

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