Harriet Tubman Got Up To A Lot More Than You Realize

(I’m a teacher. My sophomore students are writing cause/effect essays about incidents of civil disobedience. The following are comments I’ve had to make on various rough drafts.)

Me, in response to Student #1: “I’m afraid Susan B. Anthony did not vote for Hillary Clinton in 2016, because Anthony had been dead for over a century.”

Me, in response to Student #2: “Even though President and Mrs. Obama don’t live in the White House anymore, that doesn’t mean they are dead.”

Me, in response to Student #3: “While slaves were abused in horrific ways, they were not sprayed from above with chemicals, because airplanes didn’t exist before or during the Civil War.”

Student #3: “Harriet Tubman ended slavery because she caused global warming, starting back in the ninth century with the fall of the Roman Empire…”

Me: “I don’t even know where to begin… Just… No.”