It is early at the grocery store where I work. A lady walks in, in a full rage.

Customer: “Get me the manager!”

Manager: *Coming over* “How can I help, ma’am?”

Customer: “The ATM isn’t giving out quarters anymore!”

Manager: “It’s never given out quarters — or any coins, for that matter.”

Customer: “It’s always given me quarters!”

They walk over to the ATM so she can show him exactly where the quarters are supposed to come from. She just stares at the ATM, blinking for a moment.

Customer: “You all changed it! Biden doesn’t want us to have quarters!”

She storms off while my manager comes up to me with a pained look on his face.

Manager: “And it’s not even 7:00 am.”

I started working at a supermarket when I was sixteen. A woman comes up to me holding a selection of pregnancy tests.

Customer: “Could you let me know which of these is the best?”

Me: “Well, I can help read some of the descriptions on the packaging, but—”

Customer: “No, I wanted your personal opinion.”

Me: “I have no experience with them myself.”

Customer: “But you’re selling them! You should be testing them!”

She stormed off whilst muttering about the poor customer service and lack of knowledge.

I am collecting carts when I witness some guy drive his Ford Explorer into a tree in the parking lot. The driver gets out of the vehicle and starts screaming at the sky.

He then storms over to me.

Customer: “The store needs to pay for that!”

Me: “You would need to talk to the manager for that, sir.”

Luckily for me, the manager is outside taking a cigarette break and has already walked over. He introduces himself.

Customer: “You need to compensate me for this! I wasn’t expecting you to have trees in a parking lot! Who puts trees in a parking lot?!”

Manager: “Sir, the store can’t be held responsible for you driving into a tree.”

Customer: “Then I’ll sue! It’s the tree’s fault!”

Manager: “We’ll be sure to tell the trees to get out of the way next time, sir.”

With that statement, the customer realized how ridiculous he was being and stormed off to drive his dented car away. My manager lit another cigarette and casually strolled back toward the store.

On certain days, we have a discount of 15% off customers’ total price if they are senior citizens. The policy is to wait for them to ask for it so as to not “offend” them by assuming their age.

A woman comes up, and I could read you a laundry list of complaints I have about her attitude, telling me this price is wrong, and do this, and do that. I grin and bear them, and I finally get to the total.

Customer: “What about my senior discount?!”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. Your new total is [total].”

Customer: “You did that wrong! I shouldn’t have to bring it up first! Because I had to be the one to say it, you should give me two senior discounts!”

Me: “The system won’t allow two of the same discount.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

I get my manager and she continues her tirade. When her original complaint isn’t getting any traction:

Customer: “…and I dropped a penny on the ground and she didn’t come around to pick it up for me!”

My manager gave her the discount. I swear, my job makes me hate humanity so much.

Related:
Having A Senior Moment, Part 5
Having A Senior Moment, Part 4
Having A Senior Moment, Part 3
Having A Senior Moment, Part 2
Having A Senior Moment

I was taking three impatient children through the checkout with a trolley full of groceries, including perishable items. The cashier moved like a sloth and handled each item as if she’d just painted her nails and the paint was still wet.

As my youngest started to reach a new pitch in his frustrated crying, the cashier actually stopped scanning items to talk to the kids.

Cashier: “Are you going to the playground after this?”

Normally, I might have been irritated with this but would have brushed it off as a young person not knowing that you don’t suggest an activity to someone else’s kids when you don’t know if the parent will be able to take them; now the parent has to deal with tantrums over an idea you just put in the kids’ heads. But she had been so painfully slow already and contributed to the bored kids getting even more bored!