I am out collecting shopping carts when a lady waves me over.

Customer: “I can’t get into my car because the car next to me parked too close!”

It is my car, and it’s in the middle of my parking space. She is on the line of hers. I stare at her for a few seconds, thinking she is joking. It is very obvious who did the s*** parking job here.

Me: “I will see what I can do.”

I went inside and explained it to my manager, who gave me permission to move it. I went back out with my keys, pretended it was someone else’s car who was busy, and moved the d*** thing.

I work at an absurdly overpriced grocery store. It’s nice stuff, but you’re still paying way more than necessary for the majority of it. A woman is purchasing some items.

Customer: “I’ve forgotten one. Can I go get the other?”

Me: “Yes, but you’ll have to wait in line again.”

Customer: “That’s fine.”

She goes and gets a bottle of wine and then marches right back up to my register, passing three people.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you’ll have to wait for these customers.”

There’s a huge sigh as she walks back to the back of the line. When she gets back up to the register, I apologize for her wait. I ring up the wine, which is labeled on the bottle as on clearance for $9.99.

Customer: “Wait, I thought that was $4.99.”

Me: “We don’t sell wine for that price.”

I point out the huge price tag on the bottle itself, and she grumblingly agrees to pay it. Then, she immediately demands:

Customer: “Actually, I want you to refund me for the wine and my previous purchases. You have been so offensively rude to me by forcing me to line up again. You don’t deserve my business.”

I figure it’s best not to argue, so I start the refund, but the order won’t go through for some reason. I call a manager up, and he explains.

Manager: “Sorry, it is illegal to return wine in this state.”

The woman literally starts screaming.

Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! No! I bought it, and this girl was a b**** to me, so I don’t want it anymore. You refund it, or I’ll shut this store down!”

Manager: “Ma’am, you have to understand that the store will also be shut down if we refund the wine.”

Customer: “Well, see if I give a s***! You’d better believe this is going to be all over the whole entire Internet. This stupid f****** store will close within the f****** week!”

She stormed out with her wine.

This was my second day on the job. The manager gave me an extended lunch.

During the pre-vaccination era of the global health crisis, we had a very visible no-return policy at our independent grocery store. A customer came to customer service with two bananas.

Customer: “I want to return these. They didn’t brown fast enough!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are currently not accepting any returns.”

She had a tantrum.

Customer: “I am never shopping here again!”

Not even a week later, she was in the store buying more bananas.

I’m the morning cashier, and I have an extremely sore throat. To save the pain, I keep my talking to a minimum to the customers, just saying hello and asking the necessary questions.

I ring up around five customers and hit a quiet patch, and then my manager calls me into the training room.

Manager: “The last customer you rang up complained about you.”

Me: “Really? No one seemed mad to me.”

Manager: “She said that you were quiet and unfriendly to her.”

Me: “I’m always quiet! And I have a sore throat!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, and I understand. I just have to let you know about it. You’re not in trouble.”

First of all, just because someone is quiet, it doesn’t mean they’re rude.

Second of all, if that whiny lady wanted a conversation so badly, why didn’t she just talk to me during the transaction?! She was as quiet as I was!

A lady comes up to the register with a frozen pizza. We currently have a deal where you buy one and get one free. I ring up the lady’s pizza and give her the total.

Lady: “Why isn’t it half-price? If they’re buy-one-get-one-free, I should be able to get just one for half-price!”

She was LIVID when I told her that wasn’t allowed.