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Get Yell Soon

, , , | Right | July 17, 2012

(While standing near a store’s greeting card selection, I overhear this conversation between an older customer and an employee.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’m looking for a Father’s Day card to give to my son. However, you only have two here and they’re stupid.”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but those are the only ones of that type of card that we have.”

Customer: “But they’re stupid!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: “You know what? You need to call your greeting card people and make them send you better cards! You know, we’re all growing older here and we have sons that have children. I want to give my son a Father’s Day card! What is wrong with you people?”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t have any control over what the greeting card company sends us. We just display the cards they provide us with.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just have to go to [Other Store] then! Maybe they’ll have what I need!”

Employee: “Feel free to do that, sir. However, I can tell you that they are supplied by the same company. They will have the same selection.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I guess we’re just not supposed to get older, is that it?! We’re not allowed to age! You need to call your supplier and demand you get better stock!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, we have no control over—”

Customer: “CALL THEM! What an outrage! You are the rudest employee I’ve ever had to deal with! We’re just getting older! We should be allowed to get older! Call your company RIGHT NOW!”

Employee: “Sir, if you just leave your name, I can tell my manager you have a complaint—”

Customer: “NO! JUST CALL YOUR D*** COMPANY!” *angrily storms out*

28 Years Later

, , , | Right | February 14, 2011

(A little old lady approaches the counter.)

Little Old Lady: “Do you carry flamethrowers?


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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The Elderly Fight Change

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2011

(I’m working the counter of a busy service station. An elderly customer comes in to pay.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir. Just pump six and the LPG today?”

Customer: *producing his bankcard* “Yes, that’s all, thanks.”

Me: “Great, your total is $46.71.” *rings up sale and waits for him to enter his PIN*

Customer: “Can I have my change?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “My change.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I’m really sorry, but I’m not quite sure what change you mean.”

Customer: “What’s my total again?”

Me: “$46.71.”

Customer: “Great, can I have my change?”

Me: “Sir, you’re paying by card. You won’t get change as you will be paying the exact amount electronically.”

Customer: “Oh, I see.”

(He is pressing buttons on the keypad, but has not selected an account.)

Me: “Sir, you need to select an account.”

Customer: “Yes, I’ve done that.”

Me: “You want ‘Cheque’” or ‘Savings’?”

(He finally selects ‘Cheque’ and enters in a PIN. After a few seconds, it comes up declined as he has entered an incorrect PIN.)

Me: “Okay, sir, you’ve entered an invalid number for your PIN. I need you to try again.”

(I ring up the sale again, and make sure he selects ‘Cheque’ again. He seems very confused.)

Customer: “What was my total again? I want to get this right.”

Me: “Forty-six dollars and seventy-one cents, sir.”

Customer: “Okay!” *punches in numbers and announces them out loud* “4-6-7-1!”

Me: “Hang on, sir. You’re entering your total instead of your PIN.”

Customer: “Well, yes.”

Me: “The total is already in our computer. You need to enter the PIN for your card so the sale goes through.”

Customer: “Oh. What’s my PIN, then?”

Me: “Would you prefer to pay cash, sir?”


This story is part of the More-Customers-Bad-With-Money roundup!

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Margarinelly Insane

, , , , , | Right | December 26, 2010

Old Lady: *shouting randomly* “Marge? Marge?”

Me: “Are you okay?”

Old Lady: *worriedly* “I can’t find Marge!”

Me: “I’ll see if I can find someone to help you.”

Old Lady: “Please don’t go. You must help me find Marge!”

Me: “Okay, what does she look like?”

Old Lady: “Who?”

Me: “Your friend Marge?”

Old Lady: “I’m looking for margarine. It should be next to the butter!”


This story is part of our Weird Words roundup!

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Best Try The Duet Yourself Checkout

, , , , , , | Right | December 23, 2010

(An elderly gentleman selects a paintbrush and takes it to the counter.)

Customer: “Now, I don’t pay for items. I sing and dance on the tabletops instead.”

Me: *I laugh, thinking he’s joking* “That’s $1.19 please.”

Customer: “Well, I reckon that’d be about a minute’s worth of singing.”

Me: *still thinking he’s joking* “Actually, it’s $1.19, so it’s probably more like a minute and twenty seconds.”

(The customer then starts singing a monotone song — something about a cat. He is hobbling from side to side. I can’t help it; I just laugh until tears are running down my face.)

Customer: “That was verse one! There are 93 more!”

Me: “In that case, I’ll just take the cash.”


This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

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