I pop into my doctor’s office for an appointment I made a few days ago. I’ve been coming to the same clinic for years; while the receptionist staff are pretty rubbish, the doctors are always good.

I approach the receptionist.

Me: “It’s [My Name] to see [Doctor].”

Receptionist: “Hmm… looks like you missed our appointment.” *Condescendingly* “You should really try to attend on time; we have other people waiting.”

Me: “No, my appointment is at 8:30. It’s only 8:15. I have the appointment letter here.”

Receptionist: “Actually, it tells me your appointment was changed. We did send you a letter about this.”

Me: *Checking my appointment letter* “This letter is dated yesterday and has my old, correct time on. When did you send the new letter, exactly?”

Receptionist: “…”

Me: “Because I’d like to know how this new letter was going to magically get to me.”

Receptionist: “I will see if the doctor has time for you.”

After a long wait, I did eventually get seen. A day later, the letter telling me my appointment time had changed arrived. It was dated the day of the appointment.

The UK shuts down on Christmas. Almost nothing is open, especially nothing corporate. I am in a London “village” on Christmas morning, when it is 0°C. Everything is shut except [Coffee Chain]. I haven’t had anything to eat or drink, so I go in and order a terrible coffee.

In front of me is a homeless guy, and they are lavishing attention on him. It is clearly a free coffee, and they are checking that he has everything he wants. 

But it gets better. I’m drinking my coffee outside; we’re at tier four lockdown, so cafes are takeaway only. I’m a few metres from the homeless guy. A van stops. A guy jumps from the van, carrying a large, full shopping bag.

Van Guy: *To the homeless guy* “This is for you. It’s got hats and gloves and socks and leggings and donuts and crisps. I’ve given away six so far.”

It turns out that this guy is driving around southwest London and giving homeless people things they might really need to get them through the next few days or weeks. My heart swells with Dickensian Christmas spirit. 

The homeless guy demurs, but the van guy then pulls out a roll of cash and gives him a couple of £5, wishes him a merry Christmas, and gets back in the van.

Homeless Guy: *With a huge smile* “That was nice.”

Me: “Amazing.”

We exchanged pleasantries and season’s greetings. I feel better about humans.

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for January 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for January 2021!

I have autism, which tends to mean that sometimes things slip out of my mouth, mostly random nonsense.

Customer: “Do you have any dairy-free items?”

Me: “Oh, I’m dairy-free, too. I can definitely recommend the chili, and here are a few others.”

Customer: *Confused* “Beef chili.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s slow-cooked beef in a smoky tomato and chili sauce with black beans, roasted red pepper strips, coriander, and a squeeze of lime.” 

Customer: “But it doesn’t contain any dairy?”

I check the back again, just in case they updated things.

Me: “No, it doesn’t.”

Customer: “But aren’t cows dairy?”

Me: *Sarcasm slip* “Oh, only the female ones, madam.”

The customer pauses for a second and my heart drops! I’m gonna get fired for that.

Customer: “Oh, okay! I’ll take four, then.”

I ring the customer up and wish her a nice day. My boss has been watching all this in the corner, trying not to laugh.

Boss: ” I’m shocked you got away with that one!” 

Me: “Yeah… Although, technically, I’m right!”

Related:
Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary, Part 3
Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary, Part 2
Dairy, Dairy, Quite Contrary

I’m looking to buy a new car. I just want to get the bottom line price for comparison and get out.

I have some experience in sales; I understand some of the tricks and techniques, so I am quick to shut down any ploys.

Me: “Hi, I’m after a monthly cost for [Car Model] with [litre] engine, over three years, please. I’m just looking for prices today, not looking to make a sale.”

Salesman: “Okay, let me talk you through the options.”

Me: “The baseline model is fine for me, thanks.”

Salesman: *Taken aback* “Okay… Well, let’s talk protective coatings; the seats can be protected for as little as 9p a day.”

Me: “Sorry, but I just want the basic cost. If that’s affordable, we can talk about extras.”

Salesman: “Okay, so the paint protector covering—”

Me: “Again, sorry to interrupt, but I just want the basic price, no extras.”

Salesman: “What I’m going to do is put that in the quote, but as a separate line so you can see.”

Me: “That’s fine, thank you.”

Salesman: “I’ll just see if our finance team is available to go through the payment options for you.”

Me: “Again, no, thank you. I’m just looking at prices today.”

The salesman ignores me and starts looking around for the finance team.

Salesman: “It won’t take a moment; then you can ensure that you are cleared by a credit check.”

Me: “Again, I’m just looking for prices, if I can just have that printout.”

He reluctantly gave me the printout, and I thanked him and left. When I compared, this place was nearly 50% more expensive than anywhere else. No wonder they were so keen to get me to sign up and not think twice about it.

I know how petty I sound in this story; I totally believe I am in the wrong, as well. However, after losing a dear sweet family member the week before, I am beyond tired of the selfish and stupid people who refuse to do the bare minimum to save lives.

I am standing in a long queue that stretches back up the aisle.

Shopper: “Excuse me. Can I just get in there?”

She points to the nearly empty display next to where I am standing.

Me: “I’m sorry, no. You will have to wait. I can’t move aside.”

Shopper: *Angry* “I just want to look at the chocolates!”

Me: “And you’re not wearing your mask properly, so I don’t want you within two meters of me.”

Shopper: “I’m exempt!”

She is wearing the mask on her chin.

Me: “I’m sure you are, but I still don’t want you near me.”

Shopper: “Whatever.”

She goes to push past me, but I think quickly and grab the last chocolate bar off the shelf and put it in my basket.

She goes wide-eyed at me and begins screaming and grabbing at my basket. I, however, am considerably stronger than I look and manage to keep her away. A manager rushes over.

Manager: “What is going on here?”

Me: “Oh, I took the last chocolate bar from the shelf, and well, you can see how she is acting.”

Shopper: “You lying little b****! You knew I wanted that, you b****!”

Me: *To the manager* “I’m sorry, but I did get the item first and do not want to give it up.’

One of the people in the queue backs me up and the manager seems to think for a long while before speaking to the woman.

Manager: “I’m sorry, miss, but you will have to continue your shopping elsewhere. The discounted items do go quickly and it’s first come, first served.”

Shopper: “You are in it together!”

Manager: “Miss, please lower your voice or I will have to ask you to leave.”

She had an actual tantrum in the middle of the aisle, threw her basket to the floor, and barged into the manager. She knocked a display to the floor on her way out. The manager shook his head and walked away.

I did buy the chocolate bar, and it tasted amazing.

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