I am sorting out stock when I notice an angry-looking man approach my coworker at the counter. He produces an old iPhone cable. It’s a completely mutilated mess, and sadly, we know what he’s about to ask.

Customer: “Refund.”

Coworker: “On this cable, sir?”

Customer: “Obviously.”

Coworker: “It looks like it’s been seriously damaged, sir. May I ask what happened to it?”

Customer: “D*** thing stopped working. Refund.”

Coworker: “It looks like someone has cut the cable, and then tried to fix it by soldering the wires inside together.”

Customer: “Yeah, I did that to fix it, but it didn’t work. Refund.”

Coworker: “I’m afraid we can’t process a refund for an item that was willfully destroyed. You should have bought it back before trying to fix it.”

Customer: “Nope. Refund. Manager.”

Coworker: “I am the manager on duty.”

She hands the broken cable back to the customer.

Coworker: “I am afraid we won’t be able to help you in this matter, sir.”

The customer stares for a moment, almost shocked that he hasn’t got his way. He picks up his broken cable, and in an act so shocking I swear I see it happening in slow motion, he tries to WHIP my coworker with it!

Luckily, she happened to be paying attention, and she caught the cable in her hand before it could reach her face. Holding the cable tightly, staring at the customer dead in the eyes, she says:

Coworker: “Leave, before this cable isn’t the only thing that’s broken.”

Customer: “You’re all scammers!”

And with that he storms out of the store, leaving behind the cable. She takes note of his license plate as he drives off from the parking lot, and sends it to the police along with the camera footage of his attempted whipping.

Share your experience today! Ever had to deal with an unruly customer? Share your story with the NAR community! It lets others with similar experiences know they’re not alone!

I work at a computer store that offers fixed-price computer-virus and trojan removal.

Customer: “I think my computer has a computer-virus; it says something odd when it starts.”

Me: “Okay, let’s have a look.”

I boot the machine and it gives a message about a pirated copy of Windows.

Customer: “That’s the computer-virus!”

Me: “No, it says that because it has an illegal copy of the operating system. They release updates that include checks every now and then, and they’ve discovered yours is a fake.”

Customer: “The kids must have gotten that when the antivirus expired.”

Me: “Um, no. It’s been like that since it was installed.”

Customer: “You advertise computer-virus removal; remove it!”

Me: “It’s not a computer-virus; it’s an illegal piece of software.”

Customer: “You have to do it; you advertise it!”

Me: “I’d be happy to remove any malware from your computer, but it wouldn’t still remove the error message you are seeing. I can’t remove your operating system unless you want me to install a legit copy.”

Customer: “Thanks for nothing, nerd!”

The customer grabbed his laptop and then walked out, kicking the doors.

Customer: “I just got off the phone with your customer service, but they didn’t speak English so I came here.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid that the only way to handle this issue is to call that customer service line. I assure you that they all speak English.”

Customer: “No, they don’t; they were Indian.”

Me: “I know, but we don’t hire American customer service associates that don’t speak English.”

Customer: “Well, they didn’t.”

Me: “So, they were speaking to you in Hindi, then?”

Customer: *Blank look* “They didn’t speak very good English.”

Me: “Oh, I see. Well, that isn’t really the same thing, is it?”

The customer turned and left, clearly upset.

I’m home visiting my family when my mum tells me she wants a Fitbit, so we walk to the small-town electronics store. We ask the man behind the counter to help us pick out the best Fitbit for my Mum’s needs. He and I start batting stats and needs back and forth, the conversation slipping quickly to an almost shorthand, friendly conversation. At one point he laments that he only has the Apple Watch two generations from the current one himself and I squeal, “Me, too!” and then we immediately share a quick, exuberant high-five.

A Fitbit choice is made and we pay, 15% off the listed price. As we leave, Mum asks:

Mum: “How do you know that guy?”

Me: “I don’t.”

Mum: “Did you go to school with him or something?”

Me: “No, Mum, I don’t know that guy.”

Mum: “But you guys are friends.”

Me: “Nope. It just seemed that way.”

Mum: “But I don’t understand. You were best friends back there.”

Me: “Nah, I just like getting discounts on bigger ticket items.”

Mum: “What?”

Me: “Yeah. Why not? Make someone’s day and get some money off a purchase? Win-win!”

Mum: “That’s stealing.”

Me: “What? No, it isn’t. He offered the discount; I didn’t ask for it.”

Mum: “You knew he’d discount the sale.”

Me: *Shrugging* “Well, I figured.”

Mum: “That big city has made you dishonest.”

I don’t know; I enjoyed the conversation and the man behind the counter saw us off with a huge smile on his face. I do use this tactic often, but I saw no harm in it until this conversation.

Back in the 1980s and ‘90s, my father used to work as a repairman for TVs, VCRs, and similar. This is a reconstruction of something that happened back then.

Dad: “[Repair Shop], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Every time I close my back door, my TV turns green.”

Dad: *Pause* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “My TV works fine when the door is open, but when I close it, the whole screen turns green!”

Dad: “This I’ve got to see. I’ll be right over.”

He goes down to the customer’s house to have a look at the problem. Sure enough, when the back door is open, the TV works perfectly, but when it’s shut, the screen turns green. Dad examines the door in question to see if there’s anything weird about it, and as he does, he notices something in the back yard.

Dad: “I see you’ve lost a tree.”

Customer: “Yeah, lost it in that storm last week. It got hit by lightning.”

Dad: “And was that when your TV started acting strange?”

Customer: “Come to think of it, yeah!”

The door was a steel storm door, and the electrical charge of the lightning bolt so nearby had polarized it into a giant magnet. Opening it put it just far enough from the TV that it wouldn’t affect it, but when it was closed, the magnetic field was enough to warp the picture and make it turn green!

This story is part of our Best Of August 2020 roundup!

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