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Their Brain Shut Down Along With The Power

, , , , , | Right | June 3, 2020

I’m working at the service desk when a customer walks up and sets down an Uninterruptible Power Supply, a type of surge protector that holds a small charge so your electronics don’t instantly shut off during a blackout.

Me: “What can I do for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Hi. I bought this thing two weeks ago, and it barely worked at all, so I’d like to get a refund.”

She presents a receipt.

Me: “Of course. May I ask exactly what went wrong?”

Customer: “The power went out last night while I was playing a game on my computer. I figured the thing would last a few hours at least, so ignored it and kept playing. Then, my computer died like twenty minutes later! I think I got a faulty system.”

I take a second to carefully consider my words so I won’t come off as condescending.

Me: “Ah, I get it. Sorry, ma’am, but the UPS isn’t designed to hold such a big charge for a very long time; something as powerful as a computer will drain it rather quickly.”

Customer: *Frustrated* “Why not? What’s the point of having a UPS that’s only good for a few minutes?”

Me: “It’s to give you enough time to safely shut down your system, preventing data corruption.”

She gawked at me for a moment, facepalmed, and then grumbled an apology before walking away with her UPS, red with embarrassment. At least I was able to teach her something new!

 

Laptop Flop, Part 30

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2020

Customer: “Do you have this laptop in stock?”

Me: “Yes, we have three of them.”

Customer: “What’s the best price you can give me on it?”

Me: “It’s $799.”

Customer: “But what’s the best price you can give me?”

Me: “$799.”

Customer: “What’s the best price your manager can give me?”

Me: “$799.”

Related:
Laptop Flop, Part 29
Laptop Flop, Part 28
Laptop Flop, Part 27

Why We Should Run Surveys On Customers, Not Staff

, , , , | Right | April 26, 2020

I work at a large electronics retailer for about a month during the holidays. A customer, a fast-talking, angry man talking on his Bluetooth headset and dressed in a suit and a tie approaches my cash register. I start to ring up his items.

Customer: “Would you hurry?”

It is literally forty-five seconds after he first stood in line and fifteen seconds since he came to my register.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have to scan these items and it takes a minute. I’ll make it quick.”

The customer continues talking to whoever is on his headset.

Customer: “Yeah, this idiot at [Store] is taking forever to let me pay for my items.”

Me: “Sir, your total is [total].”

The customer shoves a card at me.

Customer: “Put it on this card!”

I run the card and it starts to print the receipt, along with a customer survey, and we are REQUIRED to inform the customer of it. It only prints out on maybe one of five receipts. We can tell when it was going to print because it will pause for a brief moment halfway through and then continue.

The general manager of the store is about fifteen or twenty feet away arranging some items on a display rack, so I know I HAVE to say it, or I’ll get written up.

Me: “Here is your receipt, sir, and I’m required to infor—”

Customer: “I don’t give a f***! I just want my receipt so I can get out of here!”

Me: “Sir, I need to tell you ab—”

My manager hears the commotion and comes over.

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: *Rolling eyes* “I am in a huge hurry and this employee of yours is taking forever!”

The grand total of time the customer has been standing at my cash register is maybe three minutes.

Manager: “Sir, he is doing his job just like he has been instructed. It may take some time to g—”

Customer: “I JUST WANT MY RECEIPT SO I CAN GET THE F*** OUT OF THIS F****** STORE!”

Manager: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to remain civil or I will have you removed from the store.”

The customer flies into a rage and goes on a tirade about how we’re the worst store ever, etc. The manager responds in a tone way too cheerful for the situation.

Manager: “You know what, sir? I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately and you are not welcome back in this store.”

The customer grabs his receipt violently out of my manager’s hands, nearly tearing it in half, and storms off, nearly plowing down another customer on the way in. 

Me: “Wow. What a jerk.”

Manager: “Go take a break and get a drink.”

Fortunately, I do not work retail now, nor am I even in a position where I have to detail with customers, so I will never encounter this again. I think it should be a rule that if a customer is being abusive to employees, a videotape of their abusive behavior should be shown to them so they can see what a terrible person they are.

Providing Remote Power

, , , | Right | April 21, 2020

I am manning the shop on a busy afternoon. A customer comes in with a very dirty-looking TV remote.

Customer: “Hello, son. This remote isn’t working. Can I get a new one?”

Me: “Well, you are in luck. This remote is for a [Manufacturer] TV; we supply those, so if I phone our supplier they can probably send us one.”

The customer is obviously very pleased about this, and after phoning our supplier and arranging to get one sent down he says he will come back for it, so he leaves, giving me his phone number so I can phone him when it arrives. The remote arrives and the customer calls in, pays for it, and leaves. But he is back the next day:

Me: “Hello again!”

The customer tosses the remote and packaging down on the counter.

Customer: “That thing’s not working!”

Me: “Really? Well, it should work; it’s the correct model.”

The customer doesn’t sound angry at all.

Customer: “Could you check it out for me, please?”

Me: “Okay, no problem!”

I open the packaging and remove the instruction manual.

Customer: “It feels very light. Am I supposed to put batteries in it?”

A Super-Low-Cost Transaction

, , , , | Working | April 10, 2020

(Mom calls a major electronics retailer on her phone while we are in the car.)

Mom: “Hello! We were at the airport, and my son pressed a button at your kiosk and a pair of [High-End Brand] headphones fell out! But we didn’t pay for them.”

Customer Service: “I need the transaction or credit card number.” 

Mom: “Um, we didn’t pay for them. It was an accident.”

Customer Service Rep: “I understand. I just need the transaction or credit card number.” 

(It goes around in circles like this until my mom finally asks for the supervisor. He winds up telling us to just keep them, a $200 pair of headphones.)

Mom: “I don’t want them, and I don’t want to give them to [Stepbrother], because that’s like saying stealing’s okay. I’ll just return them to the store in person.”