Unfiltered Story #163264

, , , | Unfiltered | September 16, 2019

(I work at a water park as a lifeguard. For safety reasons, we do not allow swimmers to wear face masks or goggles that cover the nose. During this interaction I am sitting on stand watching the wave pool.)
Guest: Why did you make my kid take off her goggles?
Me: Goggles that cover the nose are not allowed.
Guest: WHAT?!?! I didn’t see that rule anywhere! It said online that goggles are allowed!
(At this point the waves turn on and we are required to stand. It is very difficult to talk to someone while watching the wave pool so I signal my supervisor to come over.)
Supervisor: What’s going on?
Me: This man is angry because his kid can’t wear a face mask that covers the nose.
Supervisor: Sir, we do not allow face masks because, if your child drowns with the mask on and the lifeguard has to give rescue breaths or preform CPR, removing the mask is an extra step that takes time and could cost your child their life. This is why we do not allow swimmers to wear them.
Guest: This is ridiculous! I bought these goggles so my child could use them at this water park! There are no signs or rules saying this anywhere in this whole park! My kid should be allowed to wear these goggles!
Supervisor: Sir, our website has the pool rules posted. We also have signs with all the rules posted at the entrance to the park and at the front of the wave pool. If you continue to use the goggles we will have to confiscate them and we will ask you to leave the park.
Guest: *storms off muttering about goggles*

Sick Of Customers Just Picking Fights

, , , , | Right | September 12, 2019

(I am walking through a science center with my family when a worker suddenly stops me.)

Worker: “Excuse me. Would you mind walking around?”

(I look down and there is a puddle of puke he is guarding until someone can come to clean it up. I think nothing of it, but a man and a woman feel like giving this guy the business for no reason.)

Man: “This is a health hazard; why aren’t you doing anything?!”

Worker: “I am, sir. I am keeping people away until it can be cleaned up.”

Man: “But what else are you doing?! NOTHING!”

(Another patron walks over with a chair to cover the area.)

Woman: “THANK YOU, SIR, FOR DOING HIS JOB FOR HIM!”

(The poor worker just stands there and takes it. I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Hey, man, I appreciate you for saving me from that puke. You’re doing a great job and anyone who has ever served the public would be able to appreciate that.”

(The other man and his wife glared at me. I happily glared back as the worker mouthed a simple “thank you” to me. It’s not hard to just be silent, people!)

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Worf Has His Priorities Straight

, , , , , | Right | September 11, 2019

(I work at a large chain grocery store. I’m currently stocking an aisle when a customer approaches me, seeing my work apron.)

Customer: “Hello, ma’am!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I have two things for you today. First, where is your prune juice located?”

Me: “Right over here, sir.” *walks him to the juice aisle* “And what was the second thing, sir?”

Customer: *looks uncomfortable* “If you could let your manager know that one of the toilets in the men’s room is… overflowing.”

Me: “…”

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Unfiltered Story #160000

, , , | Unfiltered | August 7, 2019

(American stand-up comedian Bill Engvall’s most famous routine involves his joke that stupid people should have to wear signs to warn other people away. This leads to his catchphrase “here’s your sign” which is used in response to people asking questions with overly-obvious answers. On this evening a couple has come into my store looking for the book American Gun by the late Chris Kyle –the author and film basis of American Sniper–. After finding the book for them this exchange happens)

Wife: “Is this the one that he wrote before he died?”
Husband (deadpan): “No honey, it’s the one he wrote after he died.”
Me: “Heeeeeere’s your sign.”

The Ticket To A Fun Afternoon

, , , , , , | Hopeless | July 22, 2019

(My husband and I are visiting America for the first time and are in Saint Louis. While at the top of the Gateway Arch, we see that a baseball game is starting in the nearby Busch Stadium so we make an impromptu decision to go to the game. Just as we approach the ticket desk, a couple intercepts us.)

Couple: “Are you going to buy tickets for the game?”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

Couple: “We’re season ticket holders and we upgraded our tickets for tonight’s game. They let us keep our old tickets, so you can have ours for free.”

Me: *trying to decide how this scam works* “Oh, I dunno.”

Couple: “We’ll be honest with you; they’re not great seats, but it saves you buying tickets.”

Me: *still unsure and wishing I was psychic so I could read my husband’s mind*

Couple: *laughs* “I know you probably think we’re scamming you. Put it this way: if the tickets are valid, you can watch the game and hopefully have a good time. If the tickets are fake, they just won’t let you in but you haven’t spent any money so no loss. We just heard your accent and wanted to do something nice while you’re visiting us.”

Me: “Okay, let’s give it a shot. Are you sure you don’t want anything for the tickets?”

Couple: “Absolutely not. Enjoy!”

(With that, the couple gave us the tickets and disappeared before we could get their details. The tickets were valid and, to us, the seats were fantastic. We had a great view of all the action and really enjoyed the game. It’s one of my favourite stories to tell from our trip and it really made our day.)

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