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They Lost The Waiting Game

, , , , , | Right | February 11, 2022

I am on vacation visiting my family and we decided to eat at a grill and bar. It’s an early Sunday morning so the bar is closed.

There is a couple sitting in a booth way back in the corner by the bar, where no one else is seated. I only notice them when I get lost trying to find the bathroom. I am confused by them because they have no menu, drink, food, or anything and are sitting in silence. Once my family gets our food, the wife walks up to our waitress.

Wife: “How are they getting their food when we haven’t even gotten our drinks yet?!”

Waitress: “Oh, sorry, ma’am, what did you order? I’ll go get them for you and find your server.”

Wife: “WE HAVEN’T EVEN GOT THE CHANCE TO ORDER OUR DRINKS! We haven’t seen our server in ages!”

Waitress: “Oh, no, I am so sorry! Who was your server?”

Wife: “Some short blonde with a ponytail.”

Waitress: “Ma’am, she clocked out ages ago. She told us there was no one left in her section. We had no idea you were here, I apologize.” *Pulls out an order pad* “I can take your order back right now and expedite it.”

Wife: *Still red in the face and mad* “I’m getting a [breakfast item #1] and my husband would like a [breakfast item #2]. And I’m not paying for either of those.”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but breakfast ended at 11:00. It’s past 12:00 now; all the breakfast ingredients have been put away. Would you like to look at the menu again and I’ll come back to you?”

Wife: “That doesn’t matter. We got here at 10:30; we were on time!”

I am beyond annoyed now, so I decide to be a little passive-aggressive.

Me: *In a loud “whisper” to my family* “Wow, you would think someone would have enough sense to go and find someone if they were sitting for an hour and a half!”

Wife: *Flustered* “Well, well… Go get us a lunch menu and we’ll let you take our order when we’re ready!” *Stomps off*

Waitress: *Turns to us* “I’m so sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s not your fault she’s a bat.”

Sister: “Yeah, she’s being ridiculous.”

Waitress: “Thank you.”

She seems genuinely shaken up by the whole thing. I think it’s all over with until I can hear the woman shouting from across the restaurant.


On and on and on. I am not a confrontational person, but I still feel the need to do something. I get a piece of paper and a pen from my mom’s purse and write a full report on what happened.

Our server had no way of knowing they were there; it was the other server’s fault for not telling anyone she sat them, and they were probably just sniffing for a discount because they intentionally waited as long as possible to find a server. I talk about how well our waitress handled the situation and how she is much more patient than I. I sign it and add my email address. I see the waitress coming back, looking near tears.

Me: “Miss, here.” *Hands her the paper* “I’m your witness if they try and complain about you.”

My family claimed that was very “extra” and unnecessary, but as someone who’s worked in the service industry, I wish someone would’ve done this for me.

Breast Not To Make Assumptions

, , , , , | Learning | September 4, 2021

My cousin used to work as a nursery school teacher. Her own son was one of the students in her class, and when he was about one year old, a parent wandered by the classroom, where my cousin happened to be breastfeeding her son at that moment. [Parent] looked around the room of maybe a dozen or so infants, confused.

Parent: “Do you… do that for all of the babies?”

My cousin had a good laugh about the parent’s misconception that part of her teaching duties included personally breastfeeding all of the babies.

Radiating Stupidity

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2021

I answer the phone.

Me: “Hello, [Bookstore].”

Caller: “Yeah, do y’all sell steam radiators?”

Me: “I’m sorry. What?!”

Caller: “Steam radiators.”

Me: “No, sir, we’re a bookstore.”

Caller: “Do y’all know where I could find one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, can y’all order one for me?”

Me: “No. Again, sir, we’re a bookstore.”

Caller: “Aw, man. All right…” *Hangs up*

Bound To The Past

, , , , , | Right | January 25, 2021

An elderly woman calls to inquire about an old dictionary.

Caller: “Its binding is falling apart and I wonder if you know anyone who deals with binding and rebinding.”

Me: “Unfortunately, there isn’t anyone left in the city that deals with that sort of stuff.”

Caller: “What can you do with the book?”

Me: “If the binding is coming off, there isn’t much we could do. Also, we don’t really take dictionaries any more as the Internet has made them obsolete.”

Caller: “Oh, well, I think that the Internet is just a fad.”

Sounds Like Their Grasp Of English Is Worse

, , , , , | Right | September 7, 2020

Customer: “I just got off the phone with your customer service, but they didn’t speak English so I came here.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’m afraid that the only way to handle this issue is to call that customer service line. I assure you that they all speak English.”

Customer: “No, they don’t; they were Indian.”

Me: “I know, but we don’t hire American customer service associates that don’t speak English.”

Customer: “Well, they didn’t.”

Me: “So, they were speaking to you in Hindi, then?”

Customer: *Blank look* “They didn’t speak very good English.”

Me: “Oh, I see. Well, that isn’t really the same thing, is it?”

The customer turned and left, clearly upset.