I am delivering groceries with an app during the early part of the health crisis, and I take a well-paying order for a warehouse store. I groan when I realize it is, among other things for pets, over a hundred pounds of dog food, but it pays well, so I quickly get everything and drive to the house.

Since people are minimizing contacts, I plan to leave everything on the porch and not actually see anyone. I enter a large property via a gate, and five dogs come whipping around to chase my car.

I slow down to a crawl so as not to hit the dogs, and I do my best to unload everything while they greet and jump on me. Fortunately, I like pets and help with an animal rescue; I’m not nervous.

Me: “Did you guys order all this food and stuff? You must be hungry! Good dogs!”

I briefly enjoyed five minutes of fluffy heaven before leaving, but I never saw a human. I still laugh when I think of that delivery and get a mental image of the dogs trying to use an app!

There’s an outside and an inside doorbell in my apartment complex. The outside doorbell is akin to a foghorn in sound and loudness, while the inside doorbell is more of a ringing of metal against metal. Both bells are mounted in the main hallway of the apartment, which is directly adjacent to my bedroom, but only the outside doorbell is connected to an intercom system allowing you to talk with the person standing in front of the apartment building so you know whether to let them in or not.

It’s a hot, humid night, so all the doors in the house are open. I’m alone in the house, and I’m blissfully asleep when the outside doorbell rings and rudely interrupts the dream I was having.

I pick up the horn for the com system.

Delivery Guy: “I have your order for [Restaurant] here.”

Me: “I did not order at [Restaurant]; you have the wrong house.”

Delivery Guy: “But this is apartment [number].”

Me: “I did not order at [Restaurant]. I was asleep. I would have known if an order was placed for my household. Please check the address again.”

I put the horn back on the intercom and return to bed. Unfortunately, I have not even put the covers back over me before the doorbell rings again.

Delivery Guy: *In a more insistent voice* “I have your order for [Restaurant] here. For [address]. That is this address.”

Me: “I did not order at [Restaurant]. I was asleep. Something has gone wrong. Please call your boss and confirm that you have to be here.”

I put the horn back, but something about the delivery guy’s insistence bothers me. I pick up my phone and check the messages I’ve received. There’s a message saying, “Your order has been made and the delivery is en route to your address,” from the restaurant in question. Given I have not put an order in, this confuses me, so I decide to call them.

Me: “Hey, I got a message that my order was en route, and a delivery guy just showed up at my house, but I have not made an order. Can I ask if it was made by phone or Internet or something? Are you sure you sent them to the right address?”

Restaurant: “No, no, it was the wrong address. We noticed after he was gone. He didn’t answer his phone while driving. Can you send him back?”

Me: “Yeah, but how did it happen?”

Restaurant: “You and another customer have the same first name and live on the same street. The kitchen is loud, and someone wrote the wrong number.”

Me: “Okay, human error. Can happen. Thanks! I already told him to call you, so if you let him know where to go?”

Restaurant: “Yes! Sorry for the mixup! You’re a valued customer!”

Me: *Merrily* “If I’m the first one you think of when someone with my name orders, I would think so!”

The delivery guy managed to find the right place to deliver the order to, so all’s well and only some sleep was lost.

There are two [Pizza Chain] locations in the town where I live. We get our pizza for pickup from the one that doesn’t deliver to our side of town because the one that does is so remarkably incompetent. They’re the place that once insisted they didn’t know where [Road] was. I told them to look out their window. Yes, the location is on [Road]!

And they’re also the ones whose driver showed up over an hour late… without the pizza. Without anything. He just came to the door to say he didn’t have our order. I should mention it is about a five-minute drive to that location. He could have gone and gotten it when he realized he was missing an order; it’s not like it was going to be appreciably later at that point! He just didn’t, for no comprehensible reason.

Last night, these geniuses did it again. It was 1:00 am, and I was shutting down at my desk, preparing to go to bed. Suddenly, I saw someone on the porch via our doorbell camera. Someone was stacking pizza boxes (and one that looked suspiciously like either a brownie or bread twists) on our lockbox, with a car with a [Pizza Chain] lighted sign parked out front. I informed him that he had the wrong address. After he recovered from his surprise at hearing a doorbell talking to him and confirmed that I was sure I hadn’t ordered multiple pizzas in the middle of the night, he stacked it all up again, looked at his phone (which presumably was telling him the address), got back in his car, and drove off down the street. So, apparently, it wasn’t going to my next-door neighbors, either.

It was just weird, and yet another confirmation of why I don’t get delivery from that location. Once again, they were at totally the wrong address with an order — not to mention an almost entirely dark house at one in the morning.

I work in pizza delivery. We often get deliveries to our local hotels since we have like four within a couple of kms. The good news is that majority will tip, and many tip very well.

This past week, this cheap guy has been staying at one of the hotels near us for (what seemed to be forever) a week or so. He orders $100 worth of food every night requesting to be delivered to his hotel room. But get this, not only does the guy never tip even a nickel — because what do you know, he prepays every time — but he is never in his room! He is usually swimming to avoid showing his face for being a cheap jerk.

We get to his door, and since it’s prepaid, it should be a quicker transaction, but we waste our time during the busy times knocking several times on his door and then calling him only for him to never pick up. So, we leave his food at the hotel front desk each night.

Thankfully, I’ve only gotten him once, but my partner got him four nights in a row. My partner was pissed because not only is this a** not tipping, but he makes us waste our time, walk all the way into the hotel, take the elevator up to the fifth floor, knock on his door, and then try to call him, for nothing! All the while, he’s in the swimming pool hiding from us for being such a lowlife d****ebag.

We been in and out in ten seconds each time if we knew he wasn’t around and just leave his food at the front desk. But he purposely doesn’t let us know not to bother so he can waste fifteen minutes of our time each visit trying to hunt him down.

He buys $500 worth of food over five nights and does not leave a single dime for a tip to any driver! Some people just make me seriously sick. He’d better have already left town, and I hope he never comes back.

I’ve been working as a pizza delivery guy for a pizza chain for the past two years. I get an order for a condominium, and on the receipt, the customer has left instructions to call as soon as I arrive to find out which apartment she lives in. I get there and I call five times, and she doesn’t pick up.

I call my manager about what to do, and he tells me to call the customer’s daughter since she made an order with her and also left her number. I eventually make it to the customer’s door.

Customer: “Where were you?! You’re late!”

Me: “I tried calling you several times.”

Customer: “I thought those were scam calls.”

Me: “How would you like to pay?”

The order is $15.46 and she wants to pay with $100, and she wants exact change with no tip.

Me: “I don’t have the change necessary for that.”

Customer: *Yelling* “What the f*** is your problem?! This is your job!”

Me: “Do you have a debit or credit card?”

The woman finally pays, with no tip, and the daughter pays for her order and gives me a two-dollar tip.

Customer: “Now get the h*** off my property!”

I get back to work and my manager comes to talk to me.

Manager: “I got a call from your last customer. She says you pushed her, hit her, and called her a b****. She demanded that I fire you and give her a lifetime discount or she was going to call the cops.”

To this day, my manager is the best man alive. After that, he told her that she would be blacklisted from our chain and any other stores in the chain in the area. He told the other restaurants not to give her service or deliver to her.