Just before the lockdown, my car is off the road following an accident. Luckily, it isn’t for long, but it does mean taking the bus a few times to get around.

I get on near the start of the route, and by the time it is nearing the city centre it is nearly full.

A woman in her late forties is sitting next to me and wakes me out of my daydream.

Woman: “Aren’t you going to give up your seat?”

Me: “What?”

Woman: “This young woman has to stand up. Aren’t you going to give up your seat?”

Me: “No, are you?”

Young Woman: “I’m fine, really.”

Woman: “No, you should give up your seat; that’s what a proper man would do.”

Me: “She seems fine.”

Young Woman: “I am. I’m getting off at the next stop, anyway.”

The woman complains and mutters for some time, but still won’t give up her own seat. I can feel the stares on me, but I still feel like I am in the right.

The bus stops at the city centre and the young woman gets off. I stand up with my crutch and try to hobble past her.

Me: “If it is not too much trouble, could you get out of your seat?”

Her face was priceless; it wasn’t as if the crutch wasn’t clearly on show the whole time. She had her point to make of today’s youth and nothing, not even facts, was going to stand in her way.

I’m an assistant manager at a charity shop that I volunteer at. Since returning from lockdown, anybody working on the shop floor has to also keep a track of how many people are in — our limit is four — and also make sure they’re wearing masks.

I’ve just finished putting more stock on the rails and I’m taking a breather behind the counter when a lady comes in.

Me: “Excuse me, madam, sorry, but we already have four people inside. Could you wait outside, please?”

Customer: “The sign outside says that four customers is preferred.”

Me: “Um, madam, that sign says that card payments are preferred and that our customer limit is four. It shouldn’t be long before you can come in; please wait outside, and you’ll need to wear a mask too.”

The customer suddenly sees that another customer is a friend.

Customer: “Oh, hi!” *Starts chatting away*

Me: “Excuse me, madam, but you need to wait outside, please.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, sure. In a minute.” *Keeps chatting*

Me: “No, not in a minute. You need to go outside now.”

At this point, she and her friend ignore me, so I repeat myself, raising my voice each time. After I’ve done this a few times, she walks over to the plexiglass and taps the sign.

Customer: “This sign says four customers preferred!”

Me: *Pointing at each word* “Card payments preferred. There isn’t even a four on this sign.”

She looks at me, and her gaze goes down to the charity-branded mask that I’m wearing.

Customer: “You really shouldn’t be wearing that; it’s going to do you no good.”

Me: “Okay, that’s enough. You do not come into my place of work and tell me to not wear a mask. It is the law to wear a mask. I wear a mask to protect other people. If I get sick, more than likely my mum will catch it from me, and at her age, she will die. I’ve asked you politely to wait outside, but now I just want you to leave. Get out.”

Customer: *Mouth drops open* “You can’t ask me to leave!”

Me: “Yes, I can. I’m the assistant manager here, and this is private property. Get out!”

Customer: “Hmph! Well, I’ll leave, but only because you’re clearly getting so distressed.”

Me: “Get out!”

She finally left the shop, and I shouted upstairs for the manager so that I could go and take a breather, as I was agitated and shaking. I’m lucky enough to work with a great manager who doesn’t take any nonsense from customers, which gave me the confidence to deal with this customer, but this was the first time I’ve had to actually kick someone out, so it was very stressful.

My first-grader is in quarantine because someone in his class has had a positive test for a rapidly-spreading disease. As the two-week period is ending, due to contact timing, some of his classmates are back in class a day or two before he is.

The first day some of them are back in class, my son is online in the meeting. The teacher is in the classroom but on the meeting call, as well.

I hear this:

Teacher: “[Boy], stop fidgeting around! There are only three of you in the classroom, so I can see it more than usual!”

At least she’s honest with them!

I am working the checkouts to help get the line down and this is the day when everyone has decided to panic-buy toilet paper. I happen to see my mom come in, heading my way. I know that she is here for toilet paper; we genuinely are out. I don’t acknowledge that I know her at all, and while still checking out my customer, I tell my mother:

Me: “No, get out and go to [Local Office Supply Store].”

My mom leaves, confused, and the customer looks at me, also confused.

Me: “Sorry, that’s my mom. She’s here for toilet paper like everyone else because we’re out.”

Customer: “But why send her to that store?”

Me: “It’s office supplies. They have toilet paper there. I’m just hoping nobody remembers that so there’s plenty left for her to get some.”

The customer stops and stares at me for a second.

Customer: “You. You are smart and will probably get through this thing.”

When I got home that day after work, I was pleased to see that I was correct and there was still plenty of toilet paper left for us to get some. The weird thing is that it wasn’t even the first time a customer told me that. I apparently have a weird talent for knowing stores that people forget about that hold the items people want most in these weird times.

I work at a large retail chain that is currently requiring masks. Coming back in from break, I am stopped by a customer, an older lady with her mask hanging from one ear, not covering her face at all.

Customer: “Excuse me, but aren’t masks required?!”

I look over at the group she is pointing at, none of whom have masks. 

Me: “I wish we could enforce it, ma’am.”

Customer: “This is dangerous to my health! I can’t believe you just let people do whatever they want!”

She then stormed off, mask still off, to continue her shopping.