There is an operator at work who thinks the rules don’t apply to him. He drives without a licence, ignores instructions at work, and brags about not paying his TV licence or child support. [Operator] is a scumbag, he’s unpleasant to be around, and generally, we would all be better off without him on this planet.

The reason that he still works here is that our boss is struggling through cancer treatment. Of course, [Operator] doesn’t think that this is in any way his problem or that he should make any effort to make the boss’s life easier.

[Operator] is just as toxic and a strain on the business as ever. But only his boss can fire him for his work performance, and I don’t think he has the strength to go through what I bet would be weeks of [Operator] using technicalities to try and get out of it.

I don’t realise anything has changed until [Operator] comes charging out of the office.

Operator: “You can’t do that; you’re not my boss.”

Manager: “Please come back into the office and we can talk.”

Operator: “No, you’re trying to bend the rule and get rid of me based on stupid rules that don’t mean anything. I want to do this here in front of everyone.”

Manager: “Okay, based on the evidence and the lack of any evidence to the contrary, human resources will be terminating your position immediately.”

Operator: “You can’t do that; you’re not my boss! It says so in the company rules.”

Manager: “Your line manager can manage you through your performance. I manage the site and these issues are at site level.”

Operator: “That’s just a technicality, and I’m being fired for what? Bad parking?”

Manager: “Fifteen counts of blocking the disabled bay, despite being told that we have staff who depend on that space, two cases of damage to company property through striking it with your car, and one case of theft of company property.”

Operator: “I told you I was borrowing it.”

Manager: “If you borrow something, you have to have permission and bring it back.”

Operator: “And God, I told you I lost it.”

Manager: “This isn’t for discussion anymore. Please collect your things and leave. I’m told that you need not ask for a reference here.”

Operator: “You don’t know. People will stand against you once I leave; there will be a walkout. How is poor [Boss] going to manage without me?”

Manager: “That isn’t your concern anymore. Please leave.”

He left, knocking things over as he went. Apparently, he tried to stage a walkout by messaging a load of people at work. No one went for it. Even his “mates” were happy that he had left, and the whole environment is far better now. 

Our boss pulled through in the end; he stayed for a few more years and then took early retirement.

Everything is scannable or on a button, I am told whilst training. Everything. I am told. EV-REE-THING. I am competent enough to be flying solo, when I get to an item. It doesn’t have a barcode to scan. It’s not got a button to press on the computer. I am holding the offending item and flag down a coworker — one who didn’t train me.

Me: “Erm, [Coworker]. I can’t find—”

Coworker: “Ah, yes. Life has given you lemons and you cannot make lemonade as the system doesn’t believe in lemons. But there’s a code to force the system to accept the lemons.”

They put in the lemon code, and I am finishing up the transaction.

Me: *More to myself* “I was told everything was either scannable or on a button.”

Customer: “Ah, but the system doesn’t believe in lemons, so…” *Shrugs*

Coworker: “Do they even exist if the system doesn’t believe in them?”

Customer: “Did they ever exist in the first place? Or are they just oranges having an identity crisis?”

Coworker: “Now the real questions are being asked.”

Me: “Do you two know each other?”

They didn’t.

Lockdown has ended and companies are working to a “new normal”. Departments are to decide how best to run things at home or on-site to suit the team and the company.

One of my coworkers — [Coworker #1] — has been complaining about working from home the whole time and is pushing hard to get the department head to bring us all back on site, even though the majority want a mixed approach. She has done her homework; researched other companies, found statistics, and talked to other teams.

As she is pretty pushy, she seems to be getting her way. After she speaks for most of the meeting, I have to chime in.

Me: “Sorry, but doesn’t the company mandate say that the decision should be an agreement of whatever the most efficient working situation is?”

Department Head: “Well, yes.”

Me: “I’m more efficient at home and I think I’ve proved that.”

Coworker #2: “Me, too.”

Coworker #3: “I only need to be on-site for one day a week.”

Coworker #4: “That works for me — one, two days max.”

Coworker #1: “But don’t we all want to be on-site together as a team?”

Coworker #2: “I don’t think we ever sat together, did we?”

Coworker #4: “Most of my work has always been on-site.”

Me: “So, can those that are working well work from home with a day on-site?”

Department Head: “That seems reasonable. Let’s have a vote.”

Everyone apart from [Coworker #1] voted for a flexible approach. I couldn’t understand why until I found out that, even after many years with the company, she would still have to ask people how to do her job or do it for her. In person, they couldn’t ignore her, and that was why she wanted everyone back on-site.

In the end, it was good for her; she seems to be doing it more for herself and generally happier at work — albeit at home.

[Coworker] is a massive drama queen. She has actually caused a few issues. If nothing dramatic is happening, she constructs something and tries to get people to go along with it.

In the past, she had heard some comment about one of the guys having a criminal record and made it seem like he was dangerous and that she had always suspected him of being dangerous. Turns out he was taken to the police station to help with inquiries and they found the actual criminal with his help.

Today, she comes in late, flustered yet holding one of those branded reusable takeaway cups they refill for you.

Coworker #1: “Ugh, I’m so late today.”

Me: “Hmm?”

Coworker #1: “I’m so late today. I got accosted at [Coffee Chain].”

Me: “Really? [Coffee Chain], that particular one?”

Coworker #1: “Yes! This one—” *mocking me* “—’this particular one.’ They were so rude and aggressive; they wouldn’t let me leave.”

Coworker #2: “Wait, [Coffee Chain]? The one on [Street]?”

Coworker #1: “Yes, the one on [Street], the one by work. Why is everyone being so stupid?”

Me: “Because that one has been closed for renovations for a month. Something about sewerage.”

Coworker #2: “It was closed when I drove past.”

Coworker #1: “Well, I obviously mean one of the other [Coffee Chain] stores.”

Me: “The nearest one is five miles in the wrong direction. Are you sure you didn’t make it up?”

Coworker #1: “How dare you?! I am a victim here!”

Coworker #2: *Laughs* “A victim of a made-up crime.”

[Coworker #1] lodged a complaint with human resources but quickly withdrew it when we revealed that she was lying about where she went and that [Coworker #2] has family working at the only other coffee place nearby and offered to get camera footage.

She still makes things up, but thankfully, she leaves us out of her delusions.

It’s three days before I go on a nine-day vacation, including a four-day trip to Disneyland for my birthday and my youngest sibling’s graduation. Since my mom told me about this early, I asked for the time off back at the start of June when we changed our time clock system. It is now the last week of July.

The department manager is in the head office working on the next week’s schedule to be issued today. The department phone rings and is answered by [Coworker #1].

Coworker #1: “Hey, [Department Manager] is on the phone asking for you.”

Coworker #2: *Joking* “Oh, sorry, you can’t go on vacation.”

I laugh and walk over and pick up the phone.

Me: “Yes?”

Department Manager: “Hey, next week, [Other Store] needs a closer—”

Me: “Next week when I’m on vacation?”

Department Manager: “You’re on what? I don’t have you on vacation.”

Me: *Pauses* “I asked for it like two months ago.”

Department Manager: “I don’t have it in writing.”

Me: “Well, no, because I put it into the new system.”

Department Manager: “You needed to put it in writing.”

Me: “You guys decided that two weeks after I asked and [Store Assistant Manager] assured me it was in the system and I didn’t have to submit it again.”

Department Manager: “I make your schedule, not him. I knew nothing about this.”

Me: *Thinking* “Okay, pretty sure everyone else does.” *Out loud* “Well, we have an issue then, because I can’t cancel, and I asked well in advance and was told by the second highest manager in the store that it was done.”

After a little more back and forth, he agrees to put it in because the system screwed me. I walk back up to the front of the department and point to [Coworker #2].

Me: “It’s not funny when you’re right.”

Coworker #2: “WHAT?!

Me: “He had no idea I was going on vacation.”

Literally Every Coworker Who Heard Me: “HE WHAT?! HOW?!”

This is still infinitely better than my former store and manager, and when I talked to him later, my manager agreed that Disneyland from Monday to Thursday was a non-negotiable trip.