Totally In The Dark About Being Totally In The Dark

, , , , , | Working | July 31, 2019

(It is back in the early 2000s. I’m working on my thesis — which I have thankfully backed up on three different devices — when my laptop screen goes black. There’s nothing but a big, black screen of digitized death. I try the customary restarting the computer and no luck. Praying for any help, I call the brand’s IT department. After sitting on hold for a rather long time, the IT guy picks up and we go through the usual spiel. I keep explaining over and over again that there is nothing — absolutely nothing — I can see on the screen as it is black. He then asks me to try some software fixes. After giving me the instruction on how to navigate to the command dialogue box:)

Me: “Okay, so, the computer screen is about [dimensions]; where do you think the box would be?”

IT: *repeats instructions*

Me: “You don’t get this. My screen is completely blacked out. I can’t see anything.”

IT: *giving up on this* “Let’s try remote connecting.”

(I know where this is going, but I can’t seem to get this through his head.)

IT: *provides instruction on remote connecting* “Now you just have to click to accept.”

Me: “Okay, so, where would that be on the screen? Middle, top, two inches down from the right-hand side?”

(I end up clicking random spaces. Somehow, by sheer luck and this guy’s determination, after three failed remote connections I manage to click the box that allows him to remotely connect.)

IT:Oh, wow! The screen is completely black.”

Me: *head to desk* “I know. I’ve been trying to tell you this.”

IT: “You’ll have to send it to us for repair or replacement.”

(I really wish we could have started there.)

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Unfiltered Story #154176

, , , | Unfiltered | June 10, 2019

I’m the idiot customer here. This was back when online banking was new and I still got paper statements in the mail monthly.

I’ve always been taught to reconcile bank statements with paper receipts to ensure that everything is correct. As I am going through the months receipts I discover that desposit is not on the statement. Concerned I bring the statement and the receipt to the bank. I show the statement and receipt and the banker starts looking into the matter.

“Oh,” the banker points to the date.

The date was for over one year ago! Somehow I never pulled that receipt when I cleaned out the old year.

Never felt so stupid in my life. I don’t I could have apologized enough. At least he was nice about saying it was a good thing to always review statements.

Levelling Up Requires Blood

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 26, 2019

(My sister has MS and can be a little clumsy. One day she is sharpening kitchen knives and misses the sharpener. She ends up slicing her hand severely. She wraps it in a towel and walks to a back room where her fiancé is playing a multiplayer, fantasy-based computer game.)

Sister: “Hey. I cut my hand and you need to drive me to the emergency room.”

Fiancé: “Okay.” *yet continues to play the game*

(She figures that he needs to establish a stopping place, so she leaves to wait by the door. After ten minutes, he still hasn’t come. She gets up and goes back to the room.)

Sister: “[Fiancé]!” *places her hand in the bloodied towel next to the keyboard* “I need to go to the emergency room now.” *points to the towel*

Fiancé: *seeing the blood* “Oh, my God!”

(He rushed her over to the emergency room and her hand is fine. He now has to live this one down with the family because we all ask, “What did you hear the first time?!”)

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Lazy To The Letter

, , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(I work at a pharmacy, general store, and post office all in the same building. Most of the time, people see the sign for the post office on the outside but don’t know if it’s in our store or somewhere next to us, and once inside, they’re not sure where it is. A really preppy older lady walks into the store with some mail in her hands and comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but where is the post office? I saw the sign outside but don’t see a door for it out there.”

Me: “Oh, the post office is inside this building, right to the back.” *I point to the back*

Lady: “Why is it there?”

Me: “Um, because that’s the way it was built.”

Lady: “Why doesn’t it have its own place?”

Me: “It’s just the way it is, really.”

Lady: “But I don’t want to walk all the way back there, though.”

Me: “Well, I guess your letters just won’t get sent, then.”

Lady: “Fine!” *stomps out*

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Very Cord-ial

, , , , , , | Hopeless | October 28, 2017

(This takes place when laptops weigh at least 10 pounds and are rather expensive. My parents pull together the money to buy me one for my high school homework. It is a big deal. We also have three cats. One cat is very young and loves all things plastic. She’s also a cord-biter. It was so bad she once bit though the cord of my sister’s alarm clock and took the electrical shock. She was fine, the clock died with a loud pop, and the cat learned nothing. I’m working on my bed with the a/c adapter cord plugged in so I don’t lose power. Because of the cat, I have buried the cord under pillows and run it to an outlet I rarely use as it is mostly covered by the bed. All is fine until the laptop suddenly dulls in brightness and the battery icon turns on. Confused, I check and the cord is still plugged into the laptop. Following it to the wall I discover the cat found it. Somehow, without my noticing it, she has dug out the cord and gnawed on it. The laptop is under warranty, but I doubt they cover kitten bites. I shut down the computer and tell my parents. They take it well and advise me to call in to see how much a replacement will cost.)

Rep: “What seems to be the damage to the laptop?”

Me: “A kitten bit the cord.”

Rep: *pause* “Your cord suffered damage?”

Me: *picking up on her tone* “Yes.”

Rep: “Okay. As you are under warranty, we will be shipping you a new cord, free of charge. Please destroy the old cord.”

(I told my parents about it and they were happy. The $80 it would have cost to replace the cord would have been a stretch for us at the time. Thank you, awesome rep!)

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